Just shows you, you cant base your life completely on studies, if I did, Id be a candidate for a labotomy, boob job, rhinoplasty and should be living in a middle class suburb with 2.5 kids and in therapy 😆 😆 oh and having fantasies about being a Nun in a leech infested jungle eating mosquito larvae 😆 😆

😆 Magz……….but sadly true, you gotta find whats right for your body regarding food, you could say that just about anything really…….sadly most everything is about gimmicks and marketing, even medicine to some degree. 🙁

. just thought I’d stick my academic nose in and defend the insititution

😆

Actually, the plethora of info we have is very useful really, many a successful treatment and therapy has evolved from such 😉

I didn’t actually feel I had a choice……except to continue to live a lie. As difficult as it was for all of us I think the honest choice was the honourable one.

If anything in my last post indicated that I disagree with that statement then I owe you an appology. To accept responsibility is not to assume fault OR to assume the inherrent rightness or wrongness of a decision. We take responsibility for the decisions we make right was well as the wrong ones so as far as I am concerned this isn’t about the honour in your intentions.

So my responsibility was to be honest. The way others respond to that is not my responsibility.

This is where we disagree I think… but I wonder whether we disagree at all really or just take different approaches to the meaning of being responsible. There have been times in my life where I have had to be responsibile for the part that I have played in situations gone bad and when trying to determine whether I am or not I ask myself one question… “am I to any degree the author, cause or occassion of this situation comming about?” This is why one isn’t responsible for the reactions of people walking down the street, they played no part.

But in the situation of a divorce then yes you do have a responsibility because to one degree or another you are the author, cause or occassion for it comming about and it is only plausible for you to take responsibility within a reasonable framework.

In the circumstance of your daughter I would theorise that it is fair for you to take responsibility for the pain she felt as a child when you were first divorced from your wife. However studies on children from divorced families indicate that this initial shock and hurt is temporary and usually only lasts a few weeks… months at the most as children adjust to a new situation. Whatever else has gone on which has enabled her to carry this pain into her adult life is not tied to the divorce per se and is then not tied to your responsibility for that divorce. The proof of this if you will is your other daughter with whom you maintain a normal relationship but who went though the exact same circumstances.

Humans are complex creatures and we interact with each other in complex ways so usually in most situations there is more than one author, cause or occassion for something comming about.

Nothing you said offended me at all Sandy…….just reading through your post brought to mind and experience i wasn’t planning on happening.

Life never runs smoothly or the way we want it to. We have to accept that I think. In an ideal world marriages wouldn’t break down. In an ideal world I would have accepted my sexuality and never been married or had children. But the world is not ideal and we make our decision in the culture and understanding of the times we live in.

I have regrets about the way I did things…..and have acknowledge that to all concerned. We all got hurt……and I had to deal with mine even though people never acknowledged or are aware of what they did to me. I think its best for our health and personal growth to let things go from the past……when we hold on we block love.

I think we are absolutely responsible for someone else’s feelings, if we cause them. I think it is different again if you are in leadership.

If you hurt someone and you are in leadership, the Bible states that you are absolutely responsible for someone’s feelings and we are responsible for working that through with them, with integrity.

I think that we need to be responsible for someone’s feelings, when our actions are the cause of those feelings, in all aspects of life. And, to not do that, is to be a “fairweather” person, and not real friendship and definitely a poor leader. In any kind of organisation- be it church, work, family

The psalmist wanted to be washed clean, so he freely admitted his sin and guilt (51:2-7). Because he wanted to improve the situation, he asked specifically for pure thoughts and a faithful heart (51:10).