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Joined in 2005
March 31, 2015, 11:43

The Star Observer has run an op Ed piece that discussions family acceptance. In particular, talking about becoming accepted by your Partners family.

Although its not my story – it reminds me of part of mine (and is better written than anything I could do) and so I wondered if it would do the same for others.

From the article

" I realised something: perhaps acceptance doesn’t always have to be front-page news. It doesn’t need to be highlighted in bold or italic. It doesn’t need to be loud, and it doesn’t necessarily need to be proud. For my new de-facto in-laws, perhaps acceptance lay in the subtext. In the non-existent footnotes. In their baby steps toward embracing a once-foreign reality.

Having visited Brad’s parents last year, I’d experienced first-hand both their nerves and warmth at my presence. They were uncomfortable, yes — but they were really trying not to be. So we did what all gay men occasionally have to do: we adapted. We pushed together our single beds, we quietly held hands (only when deemed appropriate) in public, and I never once felt embarrassed or ashamed to be who I was."

The full article is here

My Partners parents have never been anything other than polite to me. I never felt unwelcome although – the first time we stayed – we were CLEARLY put into separate beds and 15 years later we still stay in a local motel when we go visit – so we can share a bed. We have been married since and My partners mother insisted on attending the wedding (despite it being overseas) and thoroughly enjoyed it. I dont know what would happen if we stayed with them now after all these years. We discuss occasionally staying there and insisting on the beds together as a joke – but we have no need to change the way things are. When last year we announced our marriage – My partners mother was SO keen to attend – not withstanding the overseas travelling involved. It was a Journey of quiet and polite acceptance but now I'm unquestionably family.

With our families, and our partners' and our friends – acceptance can take a little time and its some times the quiet things which are the victories to cherish.

I wonder if others have similar stories to this article – that they would like to share. Those little first steps of acceptance that family and friends have made – that were hard for them but they did it because they care (and a happy ending would be nice to hear too)

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