When Did You Chose To Be Straight?

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Joined in 2007
October 16, 2010, 21:08

Worth a look. I think it’s a good clip to provoke thought


Joined in 2008
October 16, 2010, 21:18

Thanks Nick for posting this clip – very thought provoking indeed!

BTW, I think the woman who incorrectly answered that gay people choose to be gay is now a bit more wiser :bigsmile:

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
October 16, 2010, 21:29

I just changed your link nick to an embed of the youtube video…..will have to show you how to do that…..hehe.

Lots of times I chose to be straight……..but it never lasted for too long…….certainly impossible to make a life long choice to be straight……especially if you are gay.

I think the the choices are

  1. deny

  2. suppress

  3. tolerate

  4. accept

  5. embrace

ones same sex orientation…….. not chose between one or the other.

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
October 17, 2010, 09:26

Hi Everyone

Thanks Nick for posting this cliip. It was simple and got the point across well. 🙂

While I believe that many people are simply born gay/straight/bi, I think it’s more complex than the 2 choices of either choosing or being born with a set sexuality. I’ve observed it differs between individuals as to how and when they realise their sexuality. For some it’s early on and for some much later. I believe that environment may play a role for some people and that others of us evolve into what perhaps is already imprinted in our genes. I guess I’m still leaning toward a belief of being born with an orientation that may reveal itself later rather than choosing like you would an outfit to put on. And yet if someone did choose to be gay or straight, I wouldn’t see that as any less than if they were automatically that way from birth.

We actively make choices everyday as to how we express ourselves. And even the process of choosing is not simple although it seems to be implied that it is or somehow less convincing than having a predetermined sexuality. When I was younger, it was automatic to be straight because that was the predominant and expected culture around me. I don’t recall ever making a choice about that or questioning it much until my late 20s and 30s. Once I was O/S and surrounded by all different types of people, many of them from the LGBT community, I realised that there wasn’t just a hetero world. This perhaps gave me permission to get in touch with my own alternative sexuality and to evolve into the person I am today.


Ann Maree

Joined in 2007
October 17, 2010, 11:45

Yes I agree with you Ann Maree.. I dont think its as simple as genetics that makes your orientation, but environment factors play a role too. Whatever makes one GLBT, it wasnt done by free will.

The clip is intended to provoke the idea that being gay is a choice, in which it is certainly not.

I believe this is one of the ignorance we have to break down first. Many people still believe that being gay is a choice and therefore gives them amunition to say that sexual orientation can be changed.

Joined in 2007
October 17, 2010, 13:02

Thanks for sharing this, Nick.

I think that the issue is more complex than just born to be gay/straight, or making a choice to be gay/straight. I like that the questions posed in the video caused people to reassess their preconceived ideas about being gay or straight, though.

Like Anne Maree, I grew up in an environment where it was assumed everyone was straight. I remember talking with my sisters as kids about getting married, having kids, etc. That was just the ‘norm’ and we all expected that’s what would happen.

For me, although I was aware there was something different about myself, even back there in childhood, the opportunity to explore that, and ask myself what was different, didn’t arise until I was in my late thirties and from there, I grew or evolved into what I now believe was my natural orientation all along.

I am still sorting through all of this, and trying to make sense of it and work out how/when I realized I am gay, but I know it was never really an active choice to be gay. More of a realization of why I didn’t fit my skin, if that makes sense?

Joined in 2009
October 21, 2010, 22:30

I liked the video clip. It was good.

Some years ago, I conducted a survery among about 400 gays asking whether they were born gay or whether they believed they they became gays as the result of the actions of others. The results were that about 80% said they were born gay and 20% were gay as the result of actions of others. It’s the old nature/nuture argument.

I strongly believe being gay is not a matter of choice.

For me the “turning on the light experience” was when I read Matthew 19:12. Eunuchs were people without an attraction to the opposite sex. The verse says “For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men…The one who can accept it should accept it.” So I did.

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