Hi Chris

A big welcome to freedom2b and thanks for sharing some of your story! 🙂

You said:

When I emailed him about this, he intimated that he had suspected I may be gay for some time but wanted to 'get out of that lifestyle'. This was something of a revelation to me – I had never felt like I was truly accepted at that church (or any for that matter) and had always thought it was due to my own shyness and feeling like I was hiding part of myself. However, I now know that at least part of it was judgment etc. as a result of these 'suspicions' on the part of my fellow Christians.

People are interesting with the assumptions they put up that then become blocks in relationships and obstacles to love. And the blocks are further reinforced when the creators justify them. It reminds me to always strive never to assume things about others like this person has. He has basically not only assumed you were gay but that you wanted to get out of the 'lifestyle'. And further to that, his assumption is based on faulty information in thinking that being gay is a lifestyle you can move out of. Being gay is not a lifestyle – it is part of you. It is not an outfit you can put on or off.

On a positive note, Chris, at least you now know that the lack of acceptance toward you was unlikely to do with you but more about the judgment from others. Not that it's nice to be judged but it's good to know that it isn't you that's the problem, it's others. And your shyness and decision to hide part of yourself may also have been as a result of the judgment – healthy protective measures on your part to try and avoid further judgment – rather than factors that contributed to the issue. At least you know where you stand now which you might not have known prior to this and that then gives you the opportunity to make positive changes and find truly accepting people. As it is written, the truth sets us free.:)

Your journey toward greater wholeness is already underway so congratulations! 🙂 I trust you will find f2b a supportive place that will help you be your best, authentic self in your own time and to feel good about that. 🙂

You mentioned you would like to attend an accepting church. We have some churches listed in our Support section so feel free to check that out. It's by no means an exhaustive list but a start. Others may have further suggestions. Which city are you in?

I look forward to hearing more from you, Chris.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi Chris

You are very welcome. 🙂

What style of church or service do you prefer? I think someone mentioned Collins Street Baptist was accepting too (we need to add that to our list). Earlier in the year, l heard a female minister from Collins St Baptist speak out in support of marriage equality on a TV program and was impressed by her and others on the program.

And yes, please do attend one of the monthly meetings. You can send a Private Message to MIchelle for more information about that if you wish. It's a friendly group and you will be made to feel very welcome. People there might also have some suggestions about LGBTI affirming churches. 🙂

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi Chris,

A big welcome to F2B, I've attended meetings in Brisbane and Sydney and they are very accepting, friendly and welcoming. I'm sure the Melbourne group is the same, I encourage you to check them out.

Thankyou for being so brave and taking the first steps in posting, it's a big one. Takes a lot of courage to speak up like you have, well done 🙂 Like you I hope and do believe churches will change their attitude towards the LGBTI community, just might take them a while.

Abe touched on a point that " I think most churches actually encourage people to be dishonest about themselves and put on an act" have to say I agree. It's not just people who are Gay that have to hide who they are. I think everyone puts of a face, a mask to project who we think the church wants us to be. None of us can truly be ourselves. I think that is very sad. God and Jesus accept and love us for who we are, they want us to just be open and honest with them, when you hide your true self that's impossible. F2B is a place where you can just be you, warts and all 🙂 we love and accept you and are here to encourage you as you continue on your journey.

God Bless

You are very brave and courageous to continue attending church and trying to live out your faith in spite of this opposition!

I think it seems much harder for gay men in the church than women; I'm not really sure why this is, but in conversations with conservative Christians I often hear them voicing more concern about gay men. My father is a minister in a quite conservative Anglican church, and opposes homosexuality from a theological point of view, while maintaining that gay people should be treated with love and not excluded from the church. I'm not sure what he would do if real, live, gay people turned up in his church though, but from what I gather he would be welcoming. So I think there would be similar churches out there with a more conservative focus that wouldn't turn you away. You could try just turning up and seeing how you feel, and how you are treated?

Liz

Hi Chris

You said:

The style of church service I am most comfortable with is in the Reformed/Presbyterian tradition. …An additional handicap for me is that I am a huge fan of traditional church music (I played the pipe organ in the church I used to attend)

I am afraid I'm not familiar with the more old fashioned church services like this. Actually I'm a bit out of touch with churches generally as haven't attended one for many years now. The Metropolitan church is completely gay affirming and has a traditional style of service but I don't recall much of any music. I'm told the Uniting Church in Williamstown is gay friendly with a new lesbian minister on the way to leading that congregation. The Bayside churches are pentecostal and welcoming of LGBTI but their services and music are modern. Perhaps others here may know of churches that fit your preferences?

Blessings,

Ann Maree