Your favourite "It Gets Better"

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Joined in 2005
July 24, 2012, 16:52

Hey All

I just came across this Pixar video today

Part of the It Gets Better project here

which aims to spread the pledge

"Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, transgender and other bullied teens by letting them know that "It Gets Better.""

There are lots of them

The Google one here

Which as an aside – the top comments are

GAY means God Accepts You and

FAG Means (and pardon the language) F#cking Awesome Gay person

FAGGOT = Fierce,Awesome,Generous,Glamorous,Outgoing,& Timeless

Do you guys have a favourite Video on this subject – or similar links which say the same thing – IT GETS BETTER ?

On the subject

I'm now out to

my whole family and my partners whole family.

both my workplaces (I work for two companies) and have been out at the last several companies I work at

my whole social network

My highschool and Primary school friends (thanks to facebook)

and it definately got better.

My neighbours and my families (who live in a small country village ) neighbours and their church.

I and my partner are even warmly welcomed at one of their churches (and tolerated at the other)

I dont socialise with Just other Gays – but with work (and ex work colleagues) and club members and the general community etc and generally feel homosexuality not an issue nowadays.

If someone has an issue with me being Gay – then I just leave them be. I used to travel a great deal and a lot of my friends are internet friends… and Ive learnt that theres plenty of people that will accept me for who I am – I dont need to pretend to be what IM not.

Of course all this took time – it doesnt happen over night… If only I was 21 and I knew then what I know now eh – but thats life….

What are others thoughts on this ?

Joined in 2012
July 24, 2012, 21:19

My favourite quote from those videos is:

GAY = God Accepts You

Leading up to the day I came out to my parents (4th of July – how appropriate :-)) I watched a ton of coming out stories and it gets better videos. These ones helped me the most:

It Gets Better Videos:

Coming out stories:

Ricky Martin's coming out story (VERY long video)

I've gained quite a lot of confidence from all these videos. It confirmed many feelings I've always had, including feeling 'different' my entire life, but not being able to explain it, feeling as though there's no one out there that cares, when there are A LOT of people going through the same thing and that they do care, that suicide is not the answer (it shouldn't even be an option), and that it does get better. You may not think it now, but it does. When you come out you feel liberated, like you don't have to keep living this double life. Also you're able to be yourself 100%

I admire your courage in coming out to everyone! I've only come out to my parents so far, but it's a process, and I do need to take my time 😛 great thread by the way!

God bless,


Joined in 2005
July 28, 2012, 21:07

One thing to note when I say Im out to everyone

It DOES get better and it does get easier.

I am (to my horror and dismay) middle aged now.

Ive had a few partners – and Ive been with my current partner for 13 years.

Ill be interested in what others think – but when you are younger your life is more intertwined with your parents and home town. Its harder to break that mould. When you move out of home, and have developed your own social circle thats not your parents, your school friends or the local church you grew up with then you will – hopefully find a more accepting environment which will help. I left home quite late – but I can barely remember what it was like to live at home any more – it was decades ago.

I didn't start coming out till my late 20's and to my family till well into my 30's. My parents would make VERY homophobic comments when I was growing up

I've been fortunate that I have worked across many cities (large and small) and countries and this cultures. This helped me see that the TINY world I grew up in was not THE world. I remember having a flatmate that would swear, drink beer and watch TV. Not only did God NOT strike him down but he was a nice chap and that was a bit of culture shock for me.

AS you get older – hopefully – you will be able to build a life that is supportive of you with a supportive network around you – whether VIRTUALLY or physically or both.

I also work in one of the "Gay" professions – Hair, Care, Air, Flair and Information technology and that probably makes things easier. In most places I work there are a number of other Gay and Lesbians and the types of Companies I usually work for are very careful to provide safe environments (not that there havent been a few issues over the years – AND ive also worked for engineering and infrastructure companies (Utilities etc) and never had an issue there either.

What took courage was the first few times – then it gets easier. I never came out to my parents – someone else OUTED me – so there was no courage there – it was out of my control. However I will say – its one thing to be closeted from your family when you live away from home and are single – but its very different if you live at home OR if you have a partner. I found that things like christmas etc were very difficult when not out and I would NEVER do that again. (The conflicting demands of being with Partner and Family at christmas is AWFUL when you are not out – or at least – I found it so).

The thing is – its taken time to reach where I am. It didnt happen overnight – and in fact – Freedom2B was started in part because of my (and others') Journey's to reach this place and what we went through to get where we are.

It takes time – and all our Journeys are different – BUT it does get better !

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
July 29, 2012, 08:18

Hi Shadow Boxer

Yes, it took me a journey overseas and 6 years living abroad to do the most growing in my life. I faced many fears, was exposed to new ways and cultures, learnt new skills, grew in confidence in my work and self, went through a divorce and worked in a very LGBTI environment that helped me accept my sexuality. I also grew into a new spiritual philosophy, one that was more open. It was scary and difficult at first but then it did become better and better. And I had some of the most wonderful times in my life.

Like you, I needed to break away from home to find who I was and to really develop. And I found I was stretched but the universe opened it's arms to me. Opportunites came along that I would never have dreamed of and I was able to run with them. 🙂


Ann Maree

Joined in 2005
July 29, 2012, 09:01


From another of your posts I read "I still live with my parents and I'm 22,"

I have to say that where you are seems far ahead of where I was – both at 22 AND while I was still at home.

It was late 20's before I came to terms with the fact I was Gay (I still remember the day vividly when that realisation hit me and I accepted it)

It was in my 30's something that my partner and I (and it was my partners idea actually) organised a QLD pride event called "The impact of Christian Fundamentalism on LGBTI Lives" – we expected maybe 10 people so when the hall was filled to over flowing we knew we had hit a nerve – and it was the next day that I was chatting to Anthony Venn Brown – and the idea for Freedom2b was born.

So I dont know where you will go on your Journey – but I can say you are well ahead of where I was.

Id also say that often our Journey's reflect things that happen to us – beyond our control.

Its nice to say "I admire your courage in coming out to everyone! I've only come out to my parents so far" its worth noting the world i grew in was a different and more homophobic world than now – but then I never came out to my parents – I was outed. No choice.

I came out to one my my best friends (a work colleague) and that was scary the first time – but do that a number of times and it becomes routine !

I had close friends I dont see muchany more – and though they dont say it – my feeling is they arent accepting – but I have many more close friends and they are all accepting, and I now have a diverse social circle. Church goers and not. Gay, Straight, Male, Female and Gender Queer. Work colleagues and friends from social activities. My life is richer and fuller because of it. My philosophy is that I wouldnt advise people to burn bridges or give up on friends too soon – but I believe there are other friends out there for me waiting to made – so I remind myself, dont be like the monkeys in the Kalahari desert which put their hand in a gourd to get something – and with their hands clenched around it – and unwilling to let go – they become trapped. So Dont let the fear of hanging onto the past stop me from moving forward….

Joined in 2012
July 29, 2012, 10:25

Thanks Shadow 😛 hmm I still have my fears, and some of them I don't think I will ever get over, such as:


My family has been through so many car accidents it's rediculous. I think the result of all of these accidents started it, but I also have this sixth sense that I'll die in a car crash, and I don't want it to be a self fulfilling prophecy by learning how to drive! I take comfort knowing though that there are many people in today's society that are afraid of driving, including J. K. Rowling and Nigella Lawson. Though I think it will stop me from being able to find a guy in the future, I can only hope that that guy is understanding of this fear of mine 🙁


When I was a kid we were at a family gathering, and mum asked me to go collect the mail for my grandfather. I reached inside the letter box and got stung multiple times by a swarm of bees. Ever since I've been afraid of them.

Public Speaking

I've always been a train wreck when it comes to speaking in public. Honestly, I don't know how people do it. I read somewhere in a news article that of the top 10 fears, death was ranked number 7, and public speaking was number 1! I suppose death would be lower because we don't know when our time is ultimately up, and life is too short to worry about that sort of thing. But yeah, public speaking is quite literally like going through the gauntlet of humiliation, because there's this expectancy of you to not mess up with your words :-/ then there's the nerves…

Speaking of nerves, I'm getting water baptised in a few hours :-/ so nervous. Wish me luck.

Joined in 2012
July 29, 2012, 10:32

Joined in 2012
July 29, 2012, 11:14

^ That's a really good video!

Joined in 2012
July 29, 2012, 15:05

Hey Jordan! Just saw you were going to be baptized. Praise God and hope your Pastor doesn't do this ; )

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