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27yo Gay Christian (Baptist), slowly coming out

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 23, 2008, 12:30

So… any questions? Anyone?


I feel like it might be missing stuff so am happy to fill in any missing bits


You crack me up Rob……you just posted….and here it is 12.30am……and you are asking for questions. 😆



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 23, 2008, 12:32

Hey Rob

Haven’t seen you in ages!?

I have a question for you …what’s your reaction now to the pastor who didn’t allow you to work as a chaplain?

iain

🙂


this will be a part of our discussions at the next Sydney F2B meeting August 1st…..don’t miss it.


In the meantime Rob……whats your answer



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 23, 2008, 12:35

Yeah it most definitely has grown as a result…


I was very involved in church and ministries not just within my church but all over the place…


Struggling with any sin by yourself is very detrimental to your walk with God. But to be told that something that is so ingrained in who you are is also a sin, but not just a sin but that you are going cant stay gay and be a christian is so much worse… ALL you energy goes into changing who you are… and gradually you just keep taking energy from other areas of your life to try to change… and it eventually it sucks all your life away… and you either give up on life or give up trying to change…


Now… I truly understand the love that God has for me so much more than ever before… I think the deeper the hole God brings you out of… the more condemnation God takes away from you… the better you can understand the Grace of God… that in itself has meant my relationship is stronger… and hopefully I will be able to put time back into prayer and study of God’s word again as well…


I think that possibly its the secrecy that creates dark things in our lives. When I came out……all my obsessive, addictive behavours died overnight.


In the closet there is fear, guilt, shame…….in the light those things lose their power.


did you have a similar experience Rob?


how is that for a question 😆 😆 😆



orfeo
 
Joined in 2007
July 23, 2008, 12:58

I said to God in the end, I am going to start walking in a different direction, I decided to accept that i am gay and that if this is not what God wanted than he would shut doors and make it clear what my direction should be. This lifted so much weight off my shoulders. I have never felt the freedom that i feel now and i have more purpose and direction that ever before.


Hi Rob(ert), welcome to the forums.


This paragraph just resonated with me SO much. I pretty much did the same thing, about 18 months ago. With pretty much the same result in terms of the weight lifting off my shoulders.


It’s amazing, isn’t it? You spend years and years wrestling, and then… when you stop wrestling, it very quickly transforms you. For my own part I’d go so far as to say God confirmed in a short space of time that he had his hand on the change to living as a man who acknowledges his sexuality.


See you round the place.


– Trevor


PS not everyone is telling their story yet 😉



robert
 
Joined in 2008
July 23, 2008, 17:57

Hey Rob

Haven’t seen you in ages!?

I have a question for you …what’s your reaction now to the pastor who didn’t allow you to work as a chaplain?

iain

🙂


Hmmm… I hadn’t really thought about it till you asked…


my thoughts are a bit all over the place with this…


I know at the time I internalized it… felt I was not much use to God or his church… so that was pretty crushing…


But now… I have not spoken to him since, his wife a bit here and there, but not much… I have pulled out of the church pretty much all together like Luke did, rather than actually coming out as a member of the church…


I am angry about the ignorance of that attitude, but for me now I don’t really care about him and his attitude, or anyone like that who has that attitude…


I have had a bad attitude towards the church in general since, because of the way they had treated me, they have shrunk significantly over the last year or so, from a church growing significantly to a church much much smaller now… I think their attitude towards me is probably a good indicator as to why that has happened to the church in general…


Interestingly, at the same time, my much more conservative beach mission leader would not accept me not coming to beach mission, his response was that we are all the same, and that if sinners don’t do God’s work no one will.



robert
 
Joined in 2008
July 23, 2008, 18:05

Yeah it most definitely has grown as a result…


I was very involved in church and ministries not just within my church but all over the place…


Struggling with any sin by yourself is very detrimental to your walk with God. But to be told that something that is so ingrained in who you are is also a sin, but not just a sin but that you are going cant stay gay and be a christian is so much worse… ALL you energy goes into changing who you are… and gradually you just keep taking energy from other areas of your life to try to change… and it eventually it sucks all your life away… and you either give up on life or give up trying to change…


Now… I truly understand the love that God has for me so much more than ever before… I think the deeper the hole God brings you out of… the more condemnation God takes away from you… the better you can understand the Grace of God… that in itself has meant my relationship is stronger… and hopefully I will be able to put time back into prayer and study of God’s word again as well…


I think that possibly its the secrecy that creates dark things in our lives. When I came out……all my obsessive, addictive behavours died overnight.


In the closet there is fear, guilt, shame…….in the light those things lose their power.


did you have a similar experience Rob?


how is that for a question 😆 😆 😆


Absolutely…


Once i was no longer hiding the issue from myself and later from others as well, it was like the other destructive behaviors lost their power in my life… not saying i have complete control and have everything in my life sorted, in no way am I perfect, but it made things so much easier to control.


In acknowledging our weaknesses to God we can inturn allow him in to help… God’s power is made evident in our weaknesses



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 23, 2008, 19:47

how can we get this message to all those poor closeted people in churches who are ‘struggling’….and the people I feel so sorry for who are tormented in ex-gay programs not understanding the differences between sexual orientation and their sexual abuse of sexual addiction.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 23, 2008, 19:52

PS not everyone is telling their story yet 😉


lots of lurkers/observers here trevor……there were a number who PM’d Ben when he told his story.


They should feel safe posting here don’t you think…….because your anonymity can be hid behind a user name…..and if they give us details of churches etc they can change names or make it a different state even.


Please feel safe everyone…….but you will feel better by talking about things….even more than reading.


yep…..thats right …..i talking to you……. 😀



bec_oz
 
Joined in 2006
July 23, 2008, 20:13

Hey Rob,


Was great to meet you friday and chat abit. Thanks for putting your story here 😀


Bec



orfeo
 
Joined in 2007
July 24, 2008, 17:59

LOL. Anthony, I was thinking more about myself than anyone else.


I guess I lurk in the open. Posting lots, but not ever sitting down to start a thread and say “this is me”.


If I ever do it, it’ll be a challenge not to make it a novella just because that’s the way I tend to approach these things.


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