Hi all,

I’ve been reading your posts for a while, so I guess it’s time to introduce myself.

I grew up in a pentecostal church, with a predictably homophobic dad and a pretty controlling church. I remember thinking as a kid I wish I’d been a boy – I never liked any girly things, or girls for that matter. My friends (all boys) decided though that it wasn’t cool to hang out with a girl when I was 8, so I learnt to relate to girls after that.

I never entertained the thought that I might be gay, I was so convinced that was a sin (demonic even) so I struggled through life suffering from depression from about age 14 without really knowing why. There were good years, I even fell in love with a guy, married him, emigrated to New Zealand, we had 2 girls (now aged 9 and 12) but it didn’t take long for the depression to return, and when I developed a huge crush on my female boss at work I finally allowed myself to think/feel/realise what had been staring me in the face all these years, tried exodus, took antidepressants…. My marriage was falling apart, so after 12 years I left.

I spent a year trying to figure out my feelings, my relationship with God and once I accepted myself, once I realised that God loved me just as I am the depression finally lifted.

I thought my parents would be horrified, but they were very supportive, and when I met my lovely partner I came out to them – thinking they’d drop me, but nope – they still support me. My eldest daughter hated my new relationship at first, and I’m so thankful my partner didn’t run a mile when my 10yr old pulled a knife on her and threatened to stab her (or kill herself).

We worked through that, and now all live together – life is good. We’re even accepted/tolerated in our little Salvation Army church – although of course we can’t be soldiers because we’re gay (but that’s another story)

🙂

yeah….welcome querty…..so good to hear your story….and extra cool to have you here….we love our Kiwi neighbours.

Our journeys have rarely been easy have they. thanks for sharing your thoughts on the Sy Rogers thread as well. I really dont think Sy is aware just how damaging some of his teaching has been on some people.

its great when we come out the other end eh……some wander around the dark forest for years….and…..not everyone makes it out. that’s what makes this so sad.

Hi Qwerty,

Thank you for sharing your story.It’s not an easy road that’s for sure. THe most helpful thing I have found is connecting with Christians who are gay … really well thought through people who live by their convictions. It is so good to find like minded people who love God and who are gay. Wish we could just be gay (in the traditional sense of the word) gays 😛

I love your new signature line Sparrow 8)