Apologies for a not so friendly poster

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Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
January 24, 2012, 17:13

Hi Brunski,

As Ann Maree said you do seem to be in a better place these days. Awesome keep it up.

I believe God created us for relationships with other people, not just him. We need companionship, friendship, intimacy and love. I think that Ann Maree pointed out once that love should not be this complicated, or have provisions put on it.

Quote from Ann Maree on January 23, 2012, 3:15 pm Re the sponsorship deal, I can only reiterate that it's not your job to do that. You don't need to rescue someone else. T needs to be responsible for himself while your main responsibility is yourself. The more you allow yourself to be drawn into sponsoring this other person, the more you move away from caring for you. And rescuing the other doesn't do him any favours either.

well said Ann Maree

But I have told him, that if he simply wants to "convert me" to his "truth" and show me how God can restore my sexuality, then he shouldn't bother.

Good to see you are setting some boundaries here Brunski, well done.

Your doing great 🙂

God Bless

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
January 24, 2012, 18:26

Hi Brunski

Quote from Brunski on January 23, 2012, 5:41 pm

I guess I am in a better place, but still not in that place I want to be, still struggling with the whole "gay thing" my GP has referred me to see a Psychologist while my Neurologist wants me to see a Psychiatrist. Maybe I can find a combination of the two 🙂 anyway, one step at a time.

I think it's good to have as many supports as possible so I would encourage you to listen to your doctors and follow their advice.

You said:

Jesus will meet all your needs, of course He meets my spiritual needs, but its the physical/sexual needs that need to be met. Can Jesus fulfill them ? My heart tells me he can, but my head and sinful nature questions if He cant or rather, struggles to understand how, He can meet my physical (namely, sexual needs). I recall my mother once telling me that when you have Jesus He "takes away" that "need for sex" and He replaces it with His love which meets any sexual need to had. Am I missing something ?

I agree with Mother Hen that we were made to be in relationship with others. I don't believe God takes away our physical needs. We were made with these so why would they be taken away? I mean, some people are given a gift of celibacy so they can really focus on spiritual life. But I don't believe there are many of those people around. Others find joy in sports, art or somesuch passion rather than sex. And then there are those who find joy in a mixture of interests and relationships that may or may not include sex. You have to be true to yourself and find your passions whether in relationship or not. If you don't feel that you are called to be celibate, then what you're missing might be a loving relationship with a real human being.

You said:

The interesting thing with T is that he did show me his passport which shows his visa having expired in May 2011. He tells me he has a bridging visa now, I questioned why that isn't stamped on his passport, but someone told me that bridging visa aren't stamped because they are temporary visa's. I have since contacted his lawyer repeatedly and he finally got back to me, telling me everything that I need to do in order to sponsor T (which I already knew) but he didn't answer my specific question which was, why he has a copy of T's visa and not T and whether he could tell me exactly when T's existing visa (assuming he has one) expires. I am yet to receive a reply. Can't help but wonder if this migration agent/lawyer is legit or even knows what he is talking about. I will contact immigration again, made an appointment to see the Immigration Advice and Rights people, but the waiting list is so long that I probably wont get to talk to anyone before June, July … anyway, sorry I'm going off track, this is a forum for people struggling with their sexuality, not a forum about sponsorship and visa's lol

It sounds like you are again experiencing the run-around with T and his lawyer. Remember that his lawyer is acting on behalf of T and not you so he will avoid you or tell you nothing if he thinks you won't help T's case. You deserve better than this situation. And as I've said before and Mother Hen has concurred with, life and love shouldn't be this complicated. At the very least you deserve someone who is straight forward and not demanding of you. Do you want those things? It also sounds like you are onto T. You are right to be suspicious. Trust yourself. And in the words of Maya Angelou: "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” T has shown you who he is.


Ann Maree

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