"Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers."

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Joined in 2008
May 13, 2009, 00:34

Wow this is such a good post topic – you guys are troopers!

God will probably smite me for this, but I’ve only ever been in relationships with non-Christians. I’ve found it pretty tough if I’m truthful, for obvious reasons, but sheesh in/out, believer/otherwise, I have now closed the doors and will only see somebody who is at a relatable place in life.

I’m not sure if many of you have seen the film version of “He’s just not that into you” – this is really stupid, but yes I’m going to quote from a trashy film just as I would from the bible… Jennifer Aniston’s character has been waiting 7 years or something dumb like that for her partner to decide he actually wants to marry her. Of course he’s still not “ready” and is not the marrying kind, and she has the epiphany that she doesn’t want to wait another 7 years for him to decide he really does need her.

I have a couple of suitors considerably younger than me and it’s ridiculously tempting to act on the advances for sure – especially in today’s man-drought – but after the make out sesh and the honeymoon period, the thought of my life quietly ticking along just like the character in the film while I wait for him to finish uni and sort his life out is unbearable and positively heart breaking! It’s so far out of the question, no matter how attractive or Godly he is I just couldn’t pull the wagon on my own for 5 years while they “caught up.” It would break me! I may or may not have cried in the cinema when she realised this. It made so much sense to me in terms of being yoked with somebody that was not equal/level enough in the important areas.

Still, i’d give a lot to go to a wedding or something with an out partner, lie in bed at the end of each long day and bounce my thoughts off somebody who believed and related unquestionably, all in addition to having somebody that shares the nodding acquaintance with life’s wearisome ways…

Joined in 2006
May 13, 2009, 08:01

Youve made a good point there JR about being with someone level or at a same or similar place to you, its hard when someone you are with becomes hard to be with because you cant really relate to each other at the end of the day. Poor Jen, shes yet to find “the” guy in real life too 🙁

With my g’friend, we are both independant creatures, we are literally 2gether 24/7 but never in each others face, we are just compatible that way, going about our own stuff with love and silliness inbetween 😀

I love a challenge and enjoy watching the transformation taking place in her plus I read back some things I write to her and see if it isnt too “bashey” 😆 for which she is a great help 😉 Personality wise as a couple its been the most refreshing r’ship Ive ever had and we are as nuts as each other 😆 She’s a teachable person and a softy….oh blowit, purrrrfect for me 😉 She has a heart for animals and oldies and me for people and kids, thats what appeals to me, she has her passion and we support each other in our passions in life.

Joined in 2007
May 13, 2009, 10:03

Oh – Anthony, your statement ….

I live openly……I couldn’t go into the closet with them. This freedom cost me everything so I wont exchange that for anyone. I would not live with secrecy and the stress of trying to cover your tracks all the time. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

took me straightaway to that scene from Torchsong where Ed is asking for a second chance with Arnold and Arnold sez …

Ed, are you forgetting

why we broke up in the first place?

You really think that you could bring

your friends here?

Could you introduce me to your parents

as your lover

and David as our son?


Angel, I just threw my mother,

my mother, out of the house.

All she wanted was not talk about it.

You really think

I’m going to ask less from you?

I can just see you in that scene! LOL! Seriously though – I understand and applaud your stand.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
May 13, 2009, 23:07

i’ll have to watch that film again…..totally missed that…..and a gay classic….hehe

Joined in 2008
May 13, 2009, 23:08

Wow Mags – that’s so sweet and gosh amazingly refreshing to hear. I think you’ve got a one-off there 😉 I’m jealous!! 😀 😀

Joined in 2006
May 14, 2009, 08:44

Us lovable and wonderful nutties are out there 😆 Even with a love for facial pampering ones too 😉 btw avocado and lecithin powder makes your skin baby botty smooth and gives it a natural shine 😀 you just look like the hulk for 30mins 😯 (sorry slightly off topic 😳 )

Joined in 2008
May 14, 2009, 22:10

Hahaha tanks Mags – you should write a column! I’m getting tired of egg whites and honey :S

Joined in 2009
May 14, 2009, 23:05

I’m going to be the odd one out here.  I came to faith 5 years into my relationship.  Sure I believed in Him and even “admired” Him before that, but I hadn’t accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour and the Holy Spirit had long stopped hanging out with me because of my pattern of sin and bitterness and despondency.

When I recommitted my life to Christ, I was in a bit of a pickle.  I was aware I shouldn’t be “unequally yoked”.  It felt awkward.  My partner, also baptised as a child, was not in relationship with Christ.  He told me he would “let me” be a christian as long as I didn’t preach to him.  He was hostile.  I hate to admit it, but I saw the devil in his eyes on occasion – at work to keep him from salvation and to resist me.  I turned to God’s word and meditated on it.  The passage that I’ve drawn comfort from is 1 Corinthians 7:12-24.

In essence: “Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.”

Now I have prayed every day for my partner to open his heart, soul and mind to God.  I have urged him also to pray, but at first he would not.  I have “imposed” grace at meal times, initially he snickered.  Over time, he stopped snickering and took it more seriously.  It became our habit. Then he would get upset if I did a simple quick version of grace rather than my long version which asks God to bless “the loving and talented hands that prepared the food” (as he prepares our meals).  Once he was comfortable with this, I then started adding little prayers about him or on his behalf at the end of Grace – eg to help him with a difficult situation at work, or to help him overcome a particular problem.  He then started to see those prayers working.  I then kept privately praying for him to reach out to God, and for God to let his Spirit move and His presence be felt in my partner’s life so as to draw my partner to Christ and to eternal life.

I am glad to report that my partner is now (most days) wanting to talk about God.  He is praying alone sometimes.  Sure he sees God as a Genie in a bottle in terms of some of his prayers, but I’m gently trying to help him realign his character with God’s will and Word – whilst begging God’s forebearance and asking Him to do a little Genie work just to prove He really exists. My partner’s been through a lovely learning period this week on the topic of charity (tithes and offerings – always a sticky point in mixed faith joint-finance relationships).  He is seeing that when we give our money out, we are getting money back – winning money twice in two weeks in the lottery and also literally finding it laying around.  (I do wish to stop his love of lottery tickets though… but that’s another debate for another day)

I guess the point of my post is this.  I feel as Christians we are called to pray for our non-believing partners to come to Christ, and to do what we can to lead by example and show them the way.  This does not necessarily involve them even knowing we are doing it!  In a truly loving relationship such as mine, where there is many years’ history of mutual trust and support, perhaps it is easier than when a couple first come together.  I have taken my partner by his hand and led him (back) to Christ or at least towards Christ.  One of the main reasons I have been able to do this is because of the remarkable and positive changes in my character that have developed since Jesus rescued me.

I continue to pray that my partner will grow in Christ.  But at this stage, I am optimistic he is already saved.  I would very much like us to be together in eternity.

Peace and love


Joined in 2006
May 15, 2009, 09:13

Thats really great Pentatropics 😀 Ive been wanting to pray with my partner for ages so will wait for the opportunity and do so, we are still young in the r’shp and have been very slow. What you wrote is very encouraging. 😀

When I post I usually only give snippets of what Im doing or is actually going on, otherwise Id exceed our word quota per post 😯 😆 but I also pray for my partner and have openly expressed when believing for God to move and he always does 😀 she believed as a child but some pretty hainious things happened to her, so I believe she is most likely saved, just away.

Unfortunately when God called me(1992), my partner and I busted up, both believers, she re-committing and me newly committing, if only we knew what we know now BUT she is happily hetero with kids today, so it was probably for the best it worked out that way.

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