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Bisexual- 22yrs old- out to most people

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mis2n_u
 
Joined in 2010
June 9, 2010, 10:10

Hi im aware i will make alot of spell erorrs and im sorry for that to start with :).


Im 22 years old almost 23 but i have not really acknowledged my sexuality for what it is untill about 2years ago. And what i think has mainly held myself back is that im afraid. I’m more afraid that God will not accept/ love me. That i will be punished (i know i must sound awful or stupid) but this is what i think of most of the time. I have just broken up with a woman who i truly loved whole heartedly and i was truly happy but in the back of my mind the doubt always sunk in. “Is this right/?” “will i go to hell?”.. will God accept myself and my relationship?. Im worried if i have another girlfriend things will be great but i will feel this way again and it makes me sick to my stomach and push whom i love away. I don’t want to feel like this anymore when i have just come to accept myself. I want to feel comfortable that God will love me and welcome me with open arms and that its not just something i am telling myself to make myself feel better and at ease. This is rrally affecting me.


thanks.

IanJ
 
Joined in 2009
June 9, 2010, 14:45

Hi mis2!!


Thank you for your post. I am sure others will join me in welcoming you to this site.


I don’t want to sound critical here- but don’t you think that God actually knows all this stuff that you are hiding?


And

God loves you

God has always loved you

God will always love you


then you can ‘just come out and accept’ yourself.


I have had that experience- of finally realising that God loves me ‘just as I am’


You can read my story:

http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/301


I also thoroughly recommend:

http://bennygresham.blogspot.com


Please keep talking with us!!


Ian

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 9, 2010, 15:41

Hi mis2n_u


It’s great to have you here at f2b. Welcome!


Unfortunately, that sense of dread and expectation of judgment is often normal at the start when we’re still coming to terms with our sexuality. It takes time to question the heteronormative conditioning from the church and wider world. The good news is that you won’t always feel like this.


Have you read any gay affirming or alternative interpretations of scriptures? I can recommend Keith Dyer’s article in our resource section. It’s long but good to get an objective and scholarly view on scriptures. There’s also the dvd called ‘For the Bible Tells Me So’ which you could probably order online. I found those resources and others like them very positive in helping me banish my fears.


Keep us posted.


Blessings,


Ann Maree



mis2n_u
 
Joined in 2010
June 9, 2010, 21:12

Hi Ian :),


i don’t think you sound critical at all.


Im very greatfull for your reply and also for your kind words 🙂


it means alot to me.


i will check out those links aswell.


thankyou so much 🙂

mis2n_u
 
Joined in 2010
June 9, 2010, 21:14

Hi Ann Maree,


Thankyou for your reply.


No i havent read anything like that before 🙂 i will look into this and check out the dvd you mentioned.


Anything to help banish the fears. Its also very comforting to know there are others who think the way i do and that


i wont always feel this way 🙂


thankyou.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 10, 2010, 00:46

hi mis2n_u


welcome to your safe space to talk and share with people who really understand your fears, confusion and concerns.


I’m glad that you are working on this so early in life……..you may have noticed that there are a number of stories here from people sorting this out in their 40’s and later.


many have worked this journey ahead of you now………and can help support you along the way from what they have learned.


You are no longer alone sorting this out.


If you live in a city where there is a freedom 2 b[e] chapter then meeting with others in that safe environment will really help accelerate the process.

mis2n_u
 
Joined in 2010
June 10, 2010, 11:30

Thankyou so much Anthony, and thankyou for introducing me to this site.

🙂

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 10, 2010, 16:38

You are welcome……nice to have a place like this for us all.


Wish it was around in the 70’s……hehe. my life choices would have been very different with a little education and a place to share with others who understood.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 10, 2010, 16:43

Yes avb, great point about the many resources available now and how they accelerate the process of reconciling sexuality and spirituality. 🙂



HillsBen
Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
June 10, 2010, 17:45

Hi mis2n_u,


It’s so good to have you here with us. Welcome to Freedom 2 b[e]!! I hope you find as much support here as I have. It really is a great community full of the best people. 🙂


You are making so much progress…it takes lots of courage to share your story on this forum. Congratulations!!
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