Thank you so much for sharing what is a very personal and trying time for you!
I have introduced myself to you on one of the other threads about your story but want to let you know I have seen you and am acknowledging your very difficult circumstances 🙂
It's great that you have taken some very positive steps forward with your partner. It's often those small movements out of the dark that can shed glimmers of hope 🙂
I'm wondering if in this situation you are taking some time for yourself? Sometimes going for a walk to a peaceful place, beautiful scenery and sitting in the quiet can be calming when feeling turmoil or have you considered having a regular massage? Human touch is a necessity for us all and this can be quite therapeutic and relaxing.