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Gay men and lesbians - different or the same

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blackjack
 
Joined in 2009
November 3, 2009, 20:41

Maybe lesbians are more socially adjusted and accepted, so they don’t need support groups? 😛 😳 Maybe they’re equally needy, but are too cool for the internet and too busy riding around town in their Harleys?


What I mean is, there is this annoying aspect of “masculinity” that’s associated with being independent and not seeking help. This is a pretty common phenomenon in the medical profession – the whole “she’ll be right, mate” she-bang.

(“he’ll be right, mate” he-bang?)


I’ve been thinking… it could be true that women sexuality is inherently less common, if I start guessing from current neuro-psychology vogues. It’s popular to think that brain development begins feminine and is masculinised.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
November 6, 2009, 18:30

Heehee. 😆 😆 😆 I’m finding this topic amusing for some reason. I guess I’m wondering as one of the few women on this site, what that says about me. Avb, I’m laughing at the idea of you being a lesbian in a male body although I think that’s nice. 😆


So because I’m here with so many gay guys, am I a gay man trapped in a woman’s body? Or do I just like using the net more than I used to, and have at last found somewhere I can write and feel safe? Funny Blackjack. I don’t own a harley nor do I consider myself especially cool and so maybe that’s why I’m here. 😀 So am i needy? Well, a bit neurotic and definitely in need of support as well as enjoying being of support. And I like thinking about things and discussing. Some people, both men and women, just aren’t into that.


Are gay guys just more social whether on the net or elsewhere (perhaps as you say, reflecting what happens out there naturally)? And are lezzos either driving those removal trucks to their dates (or a harley when not moving in with each other) or just nesting rather than being on here? (Sorry, couldn’t resist the cliches) 😆


Ann Maree

gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
November 7, 2009, 11:20

I was under the impression that lesbians outnumbered gay men because women are more sexually fluid. I guess I misunderstood something. Hm. Something I can research later.


And even if they weren’t gay women, we could get some straight women on this site, couldn’t we? Any kind of woman would be acceptable, as long as she is nice. 🙂 (lol, I’m sounding more and more like a desperate straight guy.) I just like having girls around. 95% of my good friends are female, I’d say. And also I would like to understand lesbians more, because I think it’s cool to see the gay experience from a female perspective. I’d like to see how similar it is to the male perspective I keep hearing about (not just here, but in general). 🙂

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
November 7, 2009, 12:49

Hi gettingthere


I don’t think there are as many differences between gay women and gay men as we might like to think. In fact, I’m finding that gay men and even some straight men feel and hurt as I do. And some even process things similarly to myself in a very deep and profound way. I like that I’m discovering that on this site. 😀 😀 😀


I also like that you are interested to know about the gay experience for lesbians. I’m interested in that too. I think there are so many subcultures within the GLBTIQ community, and even within lesbian quarters, that it can be quite polarising. There can be a tendency to focus in on those, thinking we have to fit into these cultures to really be gay. And then if you don’t want to be pigeon holed, I’ve found that parts of the gay community are not as accepting or open minded about that as I would like. I realise I’ve had an expectation that those in a minority would be understanding and compassionate toward those in the same or other minority subgroups but this isn’t always the case and sometimes people respond by becoming even more rigid and exclusive than the homophobics outside the GLBTIQ community (I’m thinking of a couple of lesbian womens’ groups I went to ages ago). Fortunately I’ve had a lot more positive experiences than negative ones though but human nature is a curious thing. In reality our experiences are as varied as we are individuals and yet there are common themes and needs with all of us. I’d like to think we can just be who we are and be accepted in our gay and wider communities.


What do you and others think about this?


Ann Maree

deafant
 
Joined in 2009
November 7, 2009, 22:26

I am not totally sure but I think its do do with women on the whole being more connection oriented – preferring face to face support and socialising. That said there are the butch/chapstick lesbians/bi and even straight women who tend to be more male oriented. So I am not suggesting that as a simplistic generalisation.


But not only that but there can be generations of behaviour that is still played out unconsciously such as that women werent considered to be capable of understanding machinery and technology. This can still be found today as many women may take on the the values of the past unconsciously. Having said that, there are more women in what were considered traditional male roles/positions now. Also the number of women in general that are internet savvy is probably the same as the number of men. So it isnt that clear cut obviously.


Got me wondering if this happens in other forums now…

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
November 8, 2009, 00:36

I went to a community event the other night to hear the gay prince from India speak. ( http://www.samesame.com.au/news/local/4659/Gay-Prince-Coming-To-Sydney.htm ) the other night. I looked around the room at the approximately 200 attending. About 15 females…..the rest gay men. …….and thought of this discussion.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
November 8, 2009, 04:57

HI Avb


Wow!! That’s a nice title – “the gay prince from India”. I like the sound of it and think it would make a good book title. 😆


Good on him for his work too.


Ann Maree

gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
November 9, 2009, 00:27

I went to a community event the other night to hear the gay prince from India speak. ( http://www.samesame.com.au/news/local/4659/Gay-Prince-Coming-To-Sydney.htm ) the other night. I looked around the room at the approximately 200 attending. About 15 females…..the rest gay men. …….and thought of this discussion.


Wow, that’s weird. I mean… it’s not like GLBT women don’t exist. They are obviously somewhere. The question is where are they and how can we get greater representation of them? It’s a bit of a mystery, isn’t it? “Anthony Venn-Brown and The Case of the Vanishing Lesbians”. 😆

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
November 9, 2009, 00:30

Oh that’s a great title too Gettingthere!! Maybe the gay prince can shed some light on this dilemma?? 😆

gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
November 9, 2009, 01:32

lol… and in the end, the gay prince of India stole all the lesbians to create a magical GLBT paradise. Another mystery solved! 😆


(Which reminds me… I’m a writer, had some good ideas for stories in my head, but they are almost always gay-themed (almost every story I write eventually has a gay character appearing, even if I try not to make it that way), so it’s hard for me to find an audience that I think will appreciate them. Maybe this would be a good place then, eh?)
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