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Shantih Shantih Shantih
Joined in 2008
March 19, 2008, 20:44

Well, so much for burning this bridge… 😉

After four (or is it five?) days without posting – all the while being swamped by end-of-term homework and thusly being unable to post even if I had still intended to – I’ve decided, in the light of several posts made since then, to give this forum another go. This time, I’ll try to shut my mouth a bit more, and only post when I have something to say that I adamantly believe will not or cannot start a row.

It also occurred to me that, if what Magsdee said on my thread in response to my last post is true (namely, that experience is something that will teach you things you cannot learn otherwise), then I probably need this forum more than I thought in order to gain better perspective.

Anyway, to the matter at hand – I believe I have found something innocuous enough to be discussed without argument, so I’m going to try and bring it up without any incident:

Something curious happened today in that two guys at my school came out and acknowledged their sexuality by making it known they were dating. As it is, too few people yet know about it to have sparked any real gossip and so I assume the rumblings I have heard are true. I also have certain other reasons to believe it to be so, first among them relating to the concept of the ‘gaydar’.

Formerly, in the name of anti-stereotyping sociological beliefs, I would have rejected the idea of the ‘gaydar’, but now I’m not so sure. At various times throughout my acquaintance with both guys I have made personal wagers to myself betting that it would turn out they were gay based on nothing more than a hunch. In fact, but a few weeks ago I made another silent wager that they would hook up after seeing them talking together, again, based on nothing more than intuition.

I don’t recall seeing this issue being discussed previously on F2b, but if it has, sorry to bring up an old topic again – I just wanted to know what other people think about the so-called ‘gaydar’. Am I prescient, preternaturally perceptive, or just plain lucky?

PS. I know this post comes off a bit stiff and forced, but please don’t think I’m trying to make polite chatter – turns out I just can’t write… 😉

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 19, 2008, 21:48

Yes its real………most gay men have it most of the time William. i could pick a guy in a supermarket or walking down the street even if he was with his wife and kids. A moment, a look, a connection.

do you know why we have it?

Do lesbians have a similar 6th sense about other women? I’ve never asked…..and what would you call it?

Joined in 2008
March 20, 2008, 03:24

YESS!!!!! I love it!!!

I have about the strongest gay-dar ever. LOL! Like, I get asked all the time if I think so-and-so is gay. Im right about 99% of the time….Its my other job in the military…. HAHAHA!! 😆

Joined in 2006
March 20, 2008, 09:19

Great Topic William 😀 Good luck with your exams btw my bro just had his english exam.

Yes we lezzies do have a Gaydar and as far as I know we also call it a “Gaydar” or “Dyke Alert” 😆

It is often a hunch, eye contact lingering longer with a smile and mannerisms but it is harder to pick most women than not, since we are so “close” anyways most of the time.

For me personally a woman has to literally “pounce” on me 😆 before I can tell, thats if I dont meet her in a Lez bar or Lez dating site, unless she is open or VERY obvious plus Im generally shy in that way 😳 .

Joined in 2007
March 20, 2008, 13:29

I definitely have ‘gaydar hindsight’ – once I know someone’s gay, I can see the clues. Eventually that might lead to me being able to figure it out beforehand a bit more often!

I don’t know. Sometimes I think I can tell, but I suspect that sometimes it’s just wishful thinking on my part.

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from my… gosh, about 9-10 months worth of actually getting out and meeting people, it’s that there are a huge range of guys out there and that an awful lot of them don’t come close to the stereotypical, slightly effeminate gay image. We’ve got another thread around here somewhere about people you wouldn’t pick walking down the street.

Does gaydar work through the television? If so… can someone please identify an AFL player I can call my own… 😳 😉

March 20, 2008, 15:19

I don’t believe or agree with a Gaydar. It’s making assumptions/ speculations about people that we have no right to make and feeding the stereotypes as to what it is to be gay.

Shantih Shantih Shantih
Joined in 2008
March 20, 2008, 19:48

Well, see, that’s what I would have said, Mark. I’m a very anti-stereotypical person, and so naturally I would believe that homosexuals are just as capable of diversity of personality as hetrosexuals (and I still believe that). The thing is, I didn’t make assumtions based on stereotypes – the whole thing was merely a hunch based on…well…nothing. Not even the eye contact or pauses Anthony mentioned.

It comes down to two things, I think: I’m either psychic (in a very peculilar way 😕 🙂 ); or on some unconscious level I’ve picked up on certain traits, mannerisms, eye contact, (etc.) and converted that into a conscious assumption.

Or, I should consider a career in gambling… 😉

Joined in 2006
March 20, 2008, 21:18

When you are old enough to get into Star Casino….call me 😆

Joined in 2008
March 21, 2008, 16:06

i have the WORST gaydar in the world. i couldnt pick a gay guy if he waved pink flag in my face. those of you who can, i am very impressed. its gotta be a some kind of a skill.

Dove Snuggler
Joined in 2007
March 22, 2008, 20:35


During my teenage years my gaydar told me every kid I thought was hot must be gay. I was either 100% wrong or 100% unlucky. I have the most embarrassing memories.

In the past 3 years I have worked just off Oxford Street in Sydney and it’s more a case of ‘straightdar’ now. Like ooooh those workmen are far too butch … or he might be with her but he’s not very convincing.

Sometimes I’m as thick as two short planks and sometimes the eye contact just hits me over the head. One thing I’ve learnt is that some people live on gaydar and some don’t. It’s very individual.


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