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Homophobia and the closet are allies.

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 15, 2009, 15:40

I recently put this on my facebook….and it caused quite a stir. I was a bit suprised by the reaction from some gay and lesbian people.


I wonder what you think?


Homophobia and the closet are allies. Like an unhealthy co-dependent relationship they need each other to survive. One plays the victim living in fear and shame while the other plays the persecutor policing what is ‘normal’. The only way to dismantle homophobia is for every gay man and lesbian in the world to come out and live authentic lives. Once they realise how normal we are and see themselves in us….the controversy is over.


It is interesting to think what would happen though….on a particularly pre-determined day that every single gay man and lesbian came out. Imagine the impact when, on that day, people all around the world suddenly discovered their bosses, mums, dads, daughters, sons, aunts, uncles, cousins, teachers, doctors, neighbours, colleagues, politicians, their favourite actors, celebrities and sports heroes, the people they loved and respected……were indeed gay.


Stereotypes would immediately be broken…..just by the same single act of millions of people…..and at last there would no longer be need for secrecy. The closet would become the lounge room. How much healthier would we be emotionally and psychologically when we could all be ourselves doing life without the internal and societal negatives that have been attached to our sexual orientation.

oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
August 15, 2009, 20:56

i should have a look on facebook


who reacted badly to this ?????

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 15, 2009, 21:54

that was ages ago ooooooo.


not really important who reacted….I’m interested to know what people here think…..this is my community.

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
August 15, 2009, 22:38

I think the meaning behind the words is true, trouble is it’s built on this fantasy that all gay people will come out at the same time on the same day. It’s this universalality (is that a word?) that creates the safety to do so. If everyone did it then, sure, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But in reality-land it’s not going to happen like that. People come out individualy one by one and it’s not safe and cosy its quite a significant risk.


I understand with and agree with the intention, the more people that come out the safer it is to come out so people should come out. It’s just never that simple in practice. You need the hundreds of thousands of brave souls who come out in the darkness to pave the way first. Like any form of discrimination, the battle to break down homophobia comes at a price, a price that shouldn’t be minimised and a price that some are not willing to pay.

oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
August 16, 2009, 07:10

yes i agree sandy


one thing that strikes me tho ( and i was never one of them but did stay quiet which may be just as bad???)

is that so many of the ‘poofter bashers’ are closet gays themselves. I know a number in that situation. Not sure how that makes sense, but i know quite a few.


not sure if it is the same with women????

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
August 16, 2009, 10:28

If everyone did it then, sure, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But in reality-land it’s not going to happen like that. People come out individualy one by one and it’s not safe and cosy its quite a significant risk. Like any form of discrimination, the battle to break down homophobia comes at a price, a price that shouldn’t be minimised and a price that some are not willing to pay.


I tend to agree with Sandy too. It’s an individual battle that should be fought on our own terms – not someone elses. If your’re a christian, then there’s lots of references in the bible to spiritual warfare that might apply if you’re wanting to be an “overcomer” in this area … on the other hand if you don’t hold any faith, or if it’s been put on hold, then you might rely more on GLBT support services. The trick is to get the balance right I think … are you comfortable in the closet? What would you lose by coming out? What would you gain? A bit like a risk assessment exercise.

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
August 16, 2009, 19:36

is that so many of the ‘poofter bashers’ are closet gays themselves. I know a number in that situation. Not sure how that makes sense, but i know quite a few.


not sure if it is the same with women????


I don’t know a whole lot about gay-bashings but I would summise that when people who are gay themselves hurt (not just physically) other people who are gay because of their sexuality it is because that person represents something they don’t want/like about themselves and that person being out and proud about it is threatening because this individual does not allow themselves (or is not allowed by their friends and family) the same liberty. Does that make sense?


I would guess that the stats on gay-bashing in a phyiscal sense would be much lower for women than those of men, assults by women are lower in general. However, both genders are equally prone to insults, homophobia and consenting to structual discrimination.


On what Mobileguy said about people being comfortable in the closet. I think that is a good point too. We aren’t a particularly representative group here at f2b if we were to try and generalise about GLBT people as a whole. There are some people who are comfortable in the closet, esepically bisexual people in my experience. There are also some people who are comfortable being closeted in certain situations such as at work. It’s not internalised homophobia and its not a denial of your sexuality its just often easier and more comfortable. Really, whats wrong with that?

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 16, 2009, 23:54

mmmmmm……this is interesting.


I think the writers intention was

It is interesting to think what would happen though


not really saying it would happen…..but if it did……what would be the outcomes.

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
August 17, 2009, 09:37

I know AVB. I guess what I’m saying though is that it serves no purpose to live life in hypotheticals, they’re pretty but at the end of the day if you’re going to come out or not come out then you’ll be doing so in the real world. It’s a nice thought though. 😉

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 17, 2009, 11:19

if we look at the hypothetical though we can see underlying causes and effects more clearly possibly.


thats really the purpose…..not saying it will happen….but asking the question…..what if.


Sorry…..its the coach in me…..hehe.
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