I am gay... not demonic.

  Page: 1

Joined in 2012
February 28, 2012, 11:38

Hey all,

As I am a site newbie I thought that I would share my story.

I am currently 32 years old, British and spend a lot of time in Australia (currently in Melbourne for a bit). I went to University back home and studied Theology, I was raised as a Christian in a notably evangelical/charismatic environment. Whilst at University I ran a Christian youth ministry and spoke at events across the UK and in Africa. After University the ministry continued and I published two magazines with a total of 12 issues per year and a readership of over 30,000 people. I was working alongside one of the top charismatic organisations in the UK, Soul Survivor. I grew as a youth leader / church leader and also had a book published under the Survivor imprint. After University, I also got married.

My world came crashing down when my wife left me and I came face to face with myself and my sexuality. The last thing I wanted to be was 'gay'. One day I took as many pills as I could possible find and tried to take my own life. I would rather have ended everything that be gay. I was in hospital, realising that I had lived on planet earth for 24 years but I had never truly lived. Right there and then I made a profound commitment to change my life and, firstly, to come out to myself.

It was always difficult for me to reconcile sexuality and faith and at a time I needed it most I spoke to a youth leader who I trusted, living in Africa who said that it may be worth me going out there to hang out with them but that they would have to chat to the church leaders because they wanted to be careful of wolves in sheep's clothing. I was horrified. I am gay, not demonic.

Like many here, I have had it all – the laying on of hands for deliverance. The request to abstain from sexual activity, the "God loves the sinner but not the sin".. you know, the same old cr*p.

I am absolutely proud to say that I am deeply in love with Jesus. There is still a lot for me to figure out and there always will be. Nevertheless, I find accepting this a lot easier than the person that I was in the pulpit pretending to have the answers… for now we see in a mirror dimly, then we will see face to face.

I am just starting to get into this forum and if there is anyone around in Melbourne to meet up with.. I would LOVE too!

I look forward to engaging with you all!


Sophia Chokhmah
Joined in 2011
February 28, 2012, 14:50

Hey there, thanks for sharing your story 🙂 Welcome 🙂

Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
February 28, 2012, 18:00

Hi Mark,

Welcome to F2B, this is a wonderful awesome group of people, you will find comfort, support love and acceptance here. Your story will inspire and encourage other's. There are so many wonderful touching stories that I encourage you to read.

So awesome that you have learnt to accept and be true to yourself. God loves and accepts you just the way you are.

There is a F2B chapter in Melbourne if you use the contact form someone will be able to put you in touch with the leaders.

Awesome to have you here 🙂

God Bless

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
February 28, 2012, 19:37

Hi Beautyforashes

I second the welcome from the others and also what Mother Hen has said about the Melbourne f2b chapter. There's some lovely, welcoming people at those monthly meetings in Melbourne. You can send a personal message to Michelle who does a great job running the group with partner, Linda. Go to the top right corner of this page to 'Compose' and click on that to write a personal message (PM).


Ann Maree

Princess _Fiona
Joined in 2011
February 29, 2012, 01:11

Hi beautyforashes

Welcome to F2b, this site I hope you will find encouaraging and inspiring. Thank you for sharing part of your journey with us. As painful as it is to read someone else has been through so much, it also at same time encouages me that I'm not alone. So great to read that you are doing well spiritually, we are all at different stages of our journeys but so many likenesses you will find as you read other stories on here.

Would encourage you also as others have said to go to a chapter meeting. I attended my first beginning of this month and meet wonderful people.

Wishing you all the best as you continue to journey through your life, well done for stepping out and sharing with us. 🙂


Joined in 2008
February 29, 2012, 10:02

Hi Mark,

Welcome to the forum and Melbourne! Sharing your story is fantastic, not always easy, however you will find others who can relate to your journey. As already mentioned we do have a great freedom2b community in Melb with a monthly meeting every third Friday. It's a great chance to meet up with others from Christian backgrounds, some of whom identify as gay Christians.

Hope to meet you soon


Joined in 2010
March 1, 2012, 12:08

Querido Hermano Mark,

It is always saddening to hear of those claiming to represent Christ turning away from our LGBT brethren. But it

is gladdening in far greater measure to hear that your faith in the Lord is stronger than their ignorance. I am reminded of the faith of another gay Christian, the Ethiopian Eunuch who was encountered by Philip the Evangelist (Acts 8:26-40), who despite all his fears and the adversity he faced (remember: he was a court official with the Candace of Ethiopia, rejected by the Temple due to his status, and a gentile, making this very risky for him) embraced Christ and brought the Word with him back to his homeland.

In any case, welcome Mark. Welcome home. We are here for you.

Yours In Christ,


Joined in 2009
March 1, 2012, 18:23

While I am in Sydney, I've been to a chapter meeting in Melbourne once and it was a great night. If you're comfortable enough doing so, you should definitely tag along to the next meeting! They usually go to a nice Italian restaurant afterwards.

Out of interest, how did you stumble across us?

  Page: 1
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.064 seconds.