Hey guys, thanks for your replies.

I do not have a GLBT group in my area, sadly.

When you speak of not entering the gay scene, do you mean the non-christian scene? Because if I enter the world (which I will in a matter of a little over a year, being 17 an all) and there are no christian groups, would it be alright for me to find a non-christian group, and just keep my discretion?

Not that this is a current matter, for I am still in a cage and within this household. But nevertheless, what are your thoughts?

What I was meaning by the scene Hyde is the visible presence of the gay world eg Castro in San Francisco…..bars, nightclubs etc. many people think this is what it means to be gay……but this is actually a subculture.

there are often very good gay community support groups who are non-christian but of course maintain high values and respect yours.

Alright thanks, I understand.

Thanks everyone for your replies, and thanks for your prayers.

I have another question:

What would be the best way to come out? Should I tell people more frequently now, or should I retain this slow pace? Should I wait until I am in college to tell my family?

And lastly, I need help classifying this one girl as high, low, or medium risk. She used to like me, and sometimes I think she still does. But she currently has her eyes set upon another guy, and I have become better friends with her this year. She supports gay right and what not. Should I come out to her? For sometimes I worry she feels I turned down her desire to date because I disliked her.

And lastly, I need help classifying this one girl as high, low, or medium risk. She used to like me, and sometimes I think she still does. But she currently has her eyes set upon another guy, and I have become better friends with her this year. She supports gay right and what not. Should I come out to her? For sometimes I worry she feels I turned down her desire to date because I disliked her.

Based on your description of her, I’d have to say that she’s about as low-risk as you could hope for. She’s an opposite sex friend, she supports gay rights and if she genuinely cares about you as a person, then she will want to do whatever she can to make you happy. The fact that she used to like you may actually work to your benefit, because when you like someone you tend to get an idealized picture of that person in your head. So then this person probably thinks very highly of you and would love to see the very best happen in your life. And as you said, if there is another guy she is interested in, it makes the situation even better because now she knows who to go for – you’re not exactly dashing her only hope for true love. Just get her alone sometime and tell her as much as you can. The one disclaimer I’d have to add is that make sure that she knows that you aren’t ready to be open to everybody and tell her that at this point in your life this is to be kept a secret. Learned that from experience… 😛 Also, I’d suggest be prepared with a few things that you would like to say to her after you come out, like your beliefs, hopes, etc. Because really what you are doing here is more than just confessing a secret. You are building a support network. If this girl is to support you, she needs to know in what way she can best do that. A third idea is, after you have assured her that you do not want her to go around telling other, ask her to tell you the names of other people in your community who she thinks it would be a safe bet for you to come out to. Her perception of their response may be better than yours. Closeted people tend to have such a strong fear of rejection that it colors their perception of other people. I’d say ask her to make some suggestions, think about her ideas, and then if you are ready and believe they are safe people, go and tell them too.

Good luck, Hyde. I’ll be praying for you. Keep us posted!

gettingthere….you never cease to amaze me.

A little caveat to talking to the parents. Unfortunately there are some parents out there who do reject their kids when they come out. I’ve heard some very sad stories.

sometimes all the concerns that we have sweated over and over are never realised when we come out.

Hoping Hyde your situation is the latter not the former.

Do you think your parents suspect.

gettingthere….you never cease to amaze me.

A little caveat to talking to the parents. Unfortunately there are some parents out there who do reject their kids when they come out. I’ve heard some very sad stories.

sometimes all the concerns that we have sweated over and over are never realised when we come out.

Hoping Hyde your situation is the latter not the former.

Do you think your parents suspect.

I think my parents may have a suspicion, not only because I have never gone out with a girl, but also because I am quick to defend gays when they start a conversation that involves the bashing of them.

However, sometimes I think they assume homosexuality is a choice, and I think they believe that I wouldn’t make the choice, being in a christian household. That is one thing I will need to clarify endlessly when I come out: that it was NOT a choice.

I do indeed fear rejection, for already I am a fair bit of the odd person out in this house. My entire family is very christian, and have avoided the real deals of the world as much as possible. I have non-christian friends, have a not-so-clean sense of humour (that I try to hide as much as possible at home) and I am a morbid person. They shout at me merely because I drew a picture of a man with a gun, which is NOTHING compared to what I’ve drawn, talked about, or watched in a horror movie before, not in their presence. (And I just realized how much this paragraph makes me sound like a bad person).

I just fear that this blast of news will make them decide that I am entirely not worth it to them. I just pray that they’ll let me talk when I come out to them, that they will let me defend myself and explain that homosexuality is not the vile monster they have been grown to see it as. That it is, indeed, love.

well, my brother who lives in the unites states has just visited and i ended up telling him. He too k it very well and was supportive but i still feel queasy telling him like ima dissapointemnt. The rest of my family have been on my case about getting a gf and some have made gay jokes so its scary about the thought of telling the rest of them but like Chris said i guess i should start telling them one by one as i get the courage.

HydeLeach I know where u r coming from as i dont have many christian gay friends at all and no support groups. JUst dont give up on God, and yeah as soon as u get te courage tell them and get it out.

Telling my brother, it was relief to finally have a close family member know. I now have the task of gettin enough courage to tell my homphobic mum, sister and rest of family, Hang i n there dude ur not alone this.