I'm a 17 year old gay male, out to one person, miserable.

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Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
March 20, 2011, 18:13

Hyde – G’day! Our Ann Maree is one wise lady. Hang in there. Don’t get sucked back in. The pain will pass.

Bless ya!

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
March 20, 2011, 18:58

Hi forestgrey

*Blushing* That’s very kind of you. 🙂


Ann Maree

Joined in 2010
March 30, 2011, 20:32

Hi brother,

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I had a similar situation. Let me go all gay stereotype for a sec: lady gaga states in one of her recent songs, “I’m beautiful in my way cos God makes no mistakes. I’m on the right track baby. I was born this way.” 

Not to say that I’m looking to lady gaga for spiritual guidance, but she’s right about this, I believe. If you believe that God makes no mistakes, then you are clearly born the way your are for a reason. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either bigoted or naive. Also, try not to get so hung up on God being silent on the issue (if indeed you feel He is). It probably means that He’s not concerned about it in the way that you are. Go with it. 

When it comes to coming out, do it when you’re ready. 

And finally, the gay scene. It’s a myth. You don’t have to do drugs and drink to be gay. In fact, you can sit at home and watch the car races on the Telly and eat corn chips if you want. Same as you don’t have to be macho to be straight. Don’t feel like you should be anything that anyone tells you to be. I’m quite stubborn, so I went into my newfound understanding (that I was gay) believing that I could be whoever i chose to be (reasonably conservative/completely monogamous/respectful/etc). That is how I live. 

Hugs and love to you. It’s hard, I know, but it will get easier. You’ll find that eventually you grow a bit tougher and people’s comments or ideas about you simply roll off your back like water.

 Actually, many people these days are totally accepting and see your homosexuality as entirely normal (duh!). I have an amazing partner who I have been with just over 10 months and we are in the most beautiful relationship. My faith in a beautiful, monogamous, equal love remains intact.  

Hugs and love, 


Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
March 30, 2011, 21:01

Hi Macman 1

That’s great to hear! Thanks for sharing.

And yes I always love it when I hear those words by Lady Gaga. I apply them to me, my sexuality and all those in our community who feel ‘less than’ or self doubting. Very affirming lyrics. 🙂


Ann Maree

Joined in 2011
March 31, 2011, 17:58

I read this epic story from beginning to end today and wept a few times over it. I am amazed, encouraged, totally slayed at Tims courage, persistence, fortitude, his moral strength, maturity, and willingness to expose himself to an avalanche of fear, doubt, rejection, and possibly self loathing. I, despite not knowing him have an immeasurable amount of pride in him (you) for traveling this road so young. My current ‘bent’ on every being needs to be loved, accepted, and forgiven is exemplified in Tim’s testimony and I so wish he could experience the full measure of this from his family and friends, and ultimately a lover.

Scripture clearly advises us a man without vision will perish, Tim hold fast to your dreams, vision for your life as you see it and only remain accountable to God, no one else has the right to judge or comment on your life.

I so wish for your family too, that they will see well beyond the ‘Christian conditioning’ that has existed through the teachings in our church that being gay is wrong; bearing in mind that generations ago people of different cultures, creed, and color were considered as being ‘below’ the typical western Caucasian standard of ‘normal’.

At risk of seeming like a creepy old man……(I’m old enough to be your father) I wish I could wrap my arms around you, help you believe you have friends who are gay AND in Christ, who will not compromise you, take advantage of you, and support you in a way that has so far eluded you.

As Anthony has written, we go through a journey ourselves, more often than not in our own mind. We have spent weeks, months, and years working out how we feel about ourselves and what sort of life we need and want. It will take time for your parents and your sister to see you in a different way from the ‘evil gay son/brother’. As you mature you will be able to express how you feel to them in a way that doesn’t threaten their preconceptions and walk them on a journey to understanding not only you but see you with God’s eyes.

Finally, hang in there with work, and your goal to study. I can’t say this strongly enough, patience and determination with a single mind now will be but a short time for a much bigger reward. Never forget that tomorrow, the next week, month, or year will….WILL bring new paths to follow, each with their own lessons and rewards.

Don’t be in a hurry to find a B/F, especially since we live in a highly sexualised straight world let alone a gay one. I have made many mistakes over the past 10 years sleeping around believing in love, and experiencing lust. It has left me torn and bruised in spirit. Imagine two pieces of paper glued together and then try and pull them apart; there is always remnants of each piece left on the other, and more often than not both get torn. Imagine now, that sharing your body, and I believe your soul, with another person, even if it’s a hookup for half an hour, you are doing to yourself what happens to the glued paper. as some one posted earlier, far easier to want and not get, than get and wish you had never gone there in the first place. At the most slutty and cheeky view, you will at least avoid sti’s!

May God bless you, give you a spiritual well deep in strength, courage, and hope.


Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 31, 2011, 21:29

hi all….as you see I have been off the forum for some time.

as you can imagine it would take a day to read all the additions to catch up. this is not possible.

so I’m doing a quick scan……and thought I’d post this link.

If it has already been covered, irrelevant then just ignore it.

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