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Introducing Jessica 46YO TRANSEXUAL from Perth

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Jessicadeanne
 
Joined in 2011
August 11, 2011, 16:38

I started coming to terms with myself when i was 38 I started reseaching on the net at 39and a half about peoples stories whom was happy , who regrets changes what ages they felt differnet etc and found so many stories i could relate to. I SET MYSELF AGE 40 to start hormones but the bigoted backward system of Fremantle Hospital slowed this 9 my view on them anyways). I HEAR OF MANY TRANSGIRLS not making it suiciding.. Strange thing with me i get suicidal not over beeign transexual or society hassles but other stuff, self worth issues way child support agency have financially crippled me resulting in my hearing voices going onto a Disability. Faith I HAVE ALWAYS believed in God but often more so lately have days that i have doubt or ask ok i believe in you but why cant you help me through this or that. Maybe im selfish here maybe i ask to much maybe God has brought me to this site to help me I AM ONE MESSED up person i want to live yet i also want to go to sleep and never wake up

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
August 11, 2011, 18:34

Hi Jessicadeane


Welcome to f2b! It’s great that you are here and that you have had the courage to share some of your story.


Sadly, suicidal thoughts and depression seem to be more prevalent amongst our community, and this is often worse if you feel isolated. Do you have friends or a counsellor to talk to? If you don’t have professional support, I strongly recommend that you seek this out. Feel free to send me a personal message if you need assistance finding suitable resources and I will try and help you locate something in your area.


Hang in there, Jessicadeane. This is a supportive site and there lots of positive stories for you to read of how others have experienced suicidal thoughts, and through finding self acceptance, have found new life and are now doing well. I trust and pray that being here will be a positive turning point for you too.


Blessings,


Ann Maree



Jessicadeanne
 
Joined in 2011
August 12, 2011, 03:29

Thanks Ann Maree I HAVE help I see a counsellor weekly through a place known as RUAH. I have however not been seeing anyone for app 7 weeks as I FLEW to Melbourne about 7 weeks ago when my mother was in hospital with a heart attack. She passed away on the 14th OF jULY SO i have stayed over to support my father. I chose to live as he wishes while here as now is not the time to make a stand on who I AM…I am finding though not beeing me is bringing me down. Guess the upside it reinforces in me that changing gender is right choice for my emotional wellbeing.

My out reach worker Laz plans linking me with a network in Perth to try to assist , hasten my getting my SRS sigh I WISH i had a lazt $20k to pay for it



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
August 12, 2011, 10:59

Hi Jessicadeane


I’m really sorry to hear about your mother’s passing, and so recently too. Being away from your counsellor and having to be someone you’re not would off course add to your stressors. Good on you for being able to see an upside in all this though. It’s true that fully experiencing what isn’t right for us can be very useful for reinforcing the change that’s needed.


I’m glad your outreach worker is trying to help with the SRS application and that you’re accessing counselling. Do you have an outreach worker as well as a counsellor?


Are you in Melbourne next week? The monthly f2b meeting occurs on Fri 19th at the ACON building in Sth Yarra if you’re interested. They are a very friendly welcoming group and you might enjoy making some new friends there.


Keep talking to us. We’re here to be of support and it’s good that you’ve found us.


Blessings,


Ann Maree

HillsBen
Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
August 12, 2011, 21:43

Hi Jessicadeanne,


You are an amazing person and I can imagine it would take lots of courage and strength to do what you are doing and to be true to yourself in a society that doesn’t understand.


I hear that life is pretty tough right now for you and that things are getting you down. Depression and suicidal thoughts are not easy to deal with.


Please know that you are not alone. Sometimes God seems like he is so far away and yet I believe He is right there with you and walking each step beside you. God is cheering you on in your victories and holding you during your bad days. I have included a verse for you below:


“We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:25-16 (MSG)


It’s ok to doubt. This is a normal emotion and often makes us stronger. God won’t stop loving you even if you doubt.


I hope you are talking to somebody at the moment. Not all psychologists or counsellors will understand but try and find a good one who does and and work with that person during the hormone process.


We are here for you and we welcome you to freedom2b!! 🙂



Jessicadeanne
 
Joined in 2011
August 13, 2011, 00:10

Thanks HillsBen I HAVE A GREAT Pyschiatrist in Fremantle i have been seeign but as i moved to Bassendean my RUAH case worker has told me i must now start with a new one at Armadale to wich I AM NOT HAPPY AS A RECENT EXPERIENCE THAT had me taken thier left me more upset after seeing the Psychiatrist on the presmises at
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