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Just introducing myself.. Isobel 🙂 (15 Bi)

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supercalamari
 
Joined in 2008
August 6, 2008, 20:32

Hiya guys, been wanting to post something for a while, now I get the chance!


My name is Isobel and I live in Newcastle. I’m 15 and have been out of the closet for about a year. I’m not a lesbian, I am bisexual. You might say that this just means that I’m a straight girl who is trying to be trendy by kissing girls, but it isn’t. I am genuinely attracted to members of both sexes and currently have a huge crush on an older female I know.


My coming out experience was pretty hard, for a while I was ashamed of my sexuality and tried to suppress who I am after reading articles about lesbians and gay men getting married and “being free of their problems” and the like. I was raised a catholic, went to church very often and my involvement in a separate evangelical church wasn’t nice. I was subjected to a lot of homophobia when I did come out. I was compared to adulterers and liars by one leader, told to stop being a ‘deviant’ and reconcile with God by another, and generally treated with suspicion by people who had been my friends.


For the last five years I have suffered depression due to these problems and also other family and school problems, and have been on the verge of suicide many times. But now I am getting better. This week I have parent teacher interviews, this time last year I couldn’t go with my parents. This was because I had suffered a nervous breakdown and had attempted to injure myself very badly, and unfortunately succeeded. I was a wreck. With the help of some friends, a psychologist, doctor and psychiatrist, I am now on the road to full recovery. It’s not easy. But that means it is really worth it.


I couldn’t reconcile Christianity and being a ‘filthy lesbian’ (as a girl in my class referred to me today, to everyone’s disgust), but am now making a great spiritual recovery after reading some books and internet articles, especially stuff by the MCC, Would Jesus Discriminate? and Anthony Venn-Brown


Just wanted to say hi, hope to join in some cool conversations.


Hope to talk to you guys!

From Me 😀



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 7, 2008, 00:52

well hi there Isobel….you are so welcome here. I think you are our youngest……its so cool.


Your story made me think what I was doing at 15……mmmmm……..I think that is when I found out I liked guys and that meant I’d be sent to prison if anyone found out or I got caught by the police.


Even though the laws have changed…..science has moved on and realised same sex attraction was not a mental illness……there are still those in churches…..locked in a culture of ignorance about these things. Hence your experience.


You are a brave girl…..we honour you.


you’re the B in GLBT!….hehe

HillsBen
Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
August 7, 2008, 01:48

Hey Isobel,


Welcome!!!


This is a great place. I hope that it is one of warmth, support and encouragement for you on your journey.


You sound like you are very strong and mature for your age and that should be celebrated.


We are here for you. And most of us can relate to your story in one way or another.


Good on you for posting!!!


😀 😀 😀 😀

robert
 
Joined in 2008
August 7, 2008, 01:51

There is no way I ever had the courage to come out at the your age… you are obviously of very strong character… God Bless you

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 7, 2008, 08:02

Hey Isobel, welcome to F2B 😀 You are so not alone as Im sure you know by now. Thankyou for having the courage to share your story. My g/f is from Newcastle originally and she has given me enough insight to the culture there to know how hard it mustve been for you. keep going as bravely as you are. 😉


Btw, love the supercalamari name, how did that come about? 😀

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
August 7, 2008, 13:26

Hey,


Sorry I am so late replying to this wonderful thread; I can’t believe I missed it. Isobel, it seems we have much in common! I lived on the Central Coast for years and studied and worked at the University of Newcastle so I know the area well. I remember in high school the boys used to say I was just trying to be trendy (and a tease) by kissing girls too, though its probably a more socially acceptable comment now-days (as it is seen as “hot” by most straight men) than it was when I was in high school (and dinosaurs roamed the earth).


I was also brought up catholic and later (upon becoming a ‘real-deal’ Christian) joined an Evangelical church where they petitioned to have me kicked out for being a lesbian despite the fact that I was not committing any sin (in the eyes of the conservative church) by having sexual relations with women.


I know that growing up in a semi-rural area like the Hunter can be very different than places like Sydney. Attitudes tend to be more extreme, ignorance abounds and resources to help you come to terms with your sexuality in a healthy way are far and few between. There is a range of service in the Hunter and Newcastle areas though if at any stage you become interested in reaching out; just let me know and I will PM them to you.


It takes guts to post your feelings and past on a site like this that is open to the public. Thank you for being so brave and please know that there are people out there that do understand the many facets of what it is like for you. The beauty of places like F2b is that the myriad of other peoples experiences means that everyone will know something about what you have been though. I know what its like to kiss girls and have crushes on older (sexy 😉 ) women and others know much about prejudiced attacks and the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and frustration that can lead to self harm and suicide. Collectively the wisdom gained though experience is priceless.

supercalamari
 
Joined in 2008
August 7, 2008, 18:28

Anthony- I would be so honoured to meet you at some point. If you ever visit Newcastle for some sort of speaking event, I hope I can come! 😀


Sandy- We have so much in common it’s not funny. I’d love it if you could send me some of those links, I’m gonna start going to MCC Newcastle when I can. Oh look, I have this MASSIVE crush on a much older woman at the moment. She is a lesbian. I don’t know if she realizes this, but she is very sexy. And she has a very good sense of humour too. Unfortunately, she’s in a relationship… aww 😐


Robert- thanks so much mate, hope to read more of your posts too!


magsdee- supercalamari, I got no idea. Super Squid? Squid is one of my many nicknames. But I also like Iz as a nickname.


Ben- Hey thanks, you look pretty young yourself.. I think maturity is something that all of us have but have to be strong enough to utilize. And Sandy, sounds like the evangelicals didn’t really exercise maturity in relation to either of us 😛


Thanks for making me feel so welcome 🙂

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
August 7, 2008, 19:56

I’ll send you those links tomorrow (I hope) and a bit about each one. I’ll do some research, I hope there is something that appeals to a younger age group. There is nothing like being a teenager, finally finding a pro-gay alliance group and sitting around listening to middle aged people discuss their failed marriages and so forth. Not that the experiences of older people are not valid and real they are just, sometimes, not entirely relevant or helpful when you are not at that ‘stage’ yet. Remind me to tell you the story of going to my first “gay social” as they were called back then, its hilarious :lol:.


I think either pining away helplessly or having your heart broken by your first love is a rite of passage for most of us I fell for my very beautiful (and very straight) math teacher when I was your age. Aside from those disgustingly lucky people that fall in love with their ‘soulmate’ straight off the agony of wanting what you can’t have is universal, hang in there we all survived and you will too!


I should probably qualify my comment about Evangelicals :lol:. The people who petitioned to have me kicked out where not representative of Evangelicals as a whole; there are many lovely Evangelical’s out there and of course, as with all groups, you will get a few crazy people doing silly things but in general they are not half bad.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 9, 2008, 20:50

Can I just say how much it warms my heart to see all the young people getting involved in F2b’s forum and chapter meetings.


It was one of my major drives is commencing the organisation…….to create something new that other generations had not known. Funny though……that was what I was wanting to do when I commenced Youth Alive in Sydney.


Its taken 3 years to get here……my sense is that in the next three years we’ll see a lot more happen.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 11, 2011, 17:46

Yeah Isobel…….we are proud of you


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