Hi kachezva

Welcome!! I’m sure many, many others will be able to relate to your situation.

I’m just wondering what factors have led you towards periods of acceptance toward yourself, both within yourself and from God? And what signs have you already been given and which do you still seek?

Thanks for sharing. Being sure that we are loved and accepted is often a process that takes time to realise. Hopefully you have people around who can show you these things which tends to help along the way.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi,

Being straight is not without it’s own complications! I know the church portrays being straight as an ideal, but honestly straight, gay or otherwise is not without issues, being straight just removes most of the social persecution.

Does your uncertainty come from inside or outside? We usually think the fault lies with us, but you have been raised in a church and a society which tells you that being gay is wrong, so maybe that’s where the pressure is coming from. The church also places extra pressure on you to ‘be cured’, so maybe that’s why you feel disconnected.

I also believe (and feel free to disagree) that no one/thing can separate you from God unless you allow it too, but that at times we are all guilty of allowing the world to take us away from God. And that external pressures (as I mentioned above) means we are disconnect as we are overwhelmed by the different forces within the world pulling us every which way and finding God’s voice in that can be like finding a needle in a haystack.

I personally don’t believe that being gay is a sin, and the bible honestly doesn’t give a conclusion answer either way, although there is growing support in many church communities that homosexuality is not a sin, or at least the issue is not as black and white as once thought, either way it’s progress. Although sad to say the church has a long road before it’s is widely accepted, and sadly that is just the reality of it.

I also think to deny who you are, who God created you to be, if you are gay then by living in a ‘normal’ straight relationship would ultimately bring you unhappiness, as I believe to deny God is to deny oneself. That being said, if you chose to walk that path it is between you and God and as long as you are right with him you are right with the world.

There’s my two cents, take it or leave it!

You are in my prayers and I hope that God walks with you in all you do, and that his love for you outshines every shadow in this world!

Hi kachezva

You ask some great questions.. I recall a time when I too wondered if it was just wishful thinking on my part of needing acceptance of the gay lifestyle that made it convenient to believe that God was alright with it.

But even before I was aware of my own sexuality (it wasn’t evident to me for some time), I felt God speak through me in response to a gay colleague’s question of whether homosexuality was wrong in the sight of God. I remember looking at this man in front of me and seeing both his courage in asking the question and his soft heart. The truth is I really wasn’t so sure about the doctrine at that stage and knew the bible verses seemed damning. And yet, aside from that, I was suddenly filled with a deep compassion that melted away everything else and I just knew God could never be against someone who loved like that man did. He had such a tender, open heart and it mattered to him what God felt.. And I just knew that a God of love could never turn this person away.. And if he did, he wasn’t the God for me or the one I knew. I recall hearing myself say that I didn’t think it mattered to God either way, and what was important – loving others – was being overlooked because people were sidetracked with debates about sexuality and other lesser ideas. I said that if everyone just focused on loving themselves and each other, some of the world’s problems would be overcome and these kinds of questions would become obsolete.

It makes me happy when I recall how deeply touched my colleague was by those words. It was a moment of grace and healing and it was real. It’s experiences like that that tell me God’s OK with homosexuality and so am I.

I very much like holywoman’s comments and agree that we need to be true to ourselves in order to be true to God. And this takes time to work out on a personal level. There’s a cost to being ‘normal’ according to the church or someone else’s views. It can cost you your happiness or sanity and God doesn’t want that. We are meant to live abundantly and truthfully, not according to societal norms. These are just outward things and are not important to God who looks at the heart.

I hope this helps.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi kachezva!

as i read your words they could so easily be mine. i have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to homosexuality being a sin or not. i am, too, searching for the peace that i am alright in God’s sight. i know that we are ALL sinners by nature but i am not so sure that i’m a sinner because i am a lesbian. i am on this same journey. trying to shut the world out so that i can just hear from God, but that is SO hard to do. how do i discredit all that i’ve been taught on this subject up to this point? like you said, i can find arguments for both and can easily be pursuaded depending on which one i’m listening to or reading. but let me say that the more i listen to ex-gays the more sceptic i become.

my journey differs in the fact that i did get married (and am still at this time) and have 3 incredible kids. i have that ‘storybook’ life from the outside looking in only. my husband is my best friend but has come to a place of realization that he can not have the intimacy he needs and longs for with me. so now, my struggle also includes doing what’s best for him and the kids.

i would love to stay posted on your journey because it sure does seem like the inner struggles you are having are very parallel with mine.

thanks for sharing and looking forward to journeying with you …

THANK YOU Rach! i needed this as well!

it is very hard to sort through all that we have ‘automatically’ taken as truth and what is ‘actual’ truth. this process is very hard to sort through. i wish all my loved ones were doing all the same reseach i am because explaining what i am now starting to believe as truth won’t only be explaining to them but more trying to convince them.

gotta run now … but would love to stay a part of this dialog