Lesbian Christian but Does God really accept me?

Page:   1 2 3

Joined in 2010
June 7, 2010, 18:18

I am a lesbian christian and for years have gone through periods of accepting myself and accepting that God accepts me for who I am and on the other hand, being confused about whether it really is God who accepts me, or am I just trying to deny the truth and that He loves me, but has a different life in store for me that I just dont want to follow… Day in and day out I cry out to Him to show me a sign, give me answers, and then when I get what I think might be answers, I start wondering if its just me seeing what I want to see/dont want to see or if it truelly is Him.. Is my interpretation of His word true, or is it false? I so desperately want to have children with my partner, but maybe we are suppose to do it the “normal” way… They way God apparently intended it to be. I am so so so confused and hope that some how, some way, I come to a place where I know that I know that I know that God loves and accepts me for who I am, and blesses my relationship with my partner and its really okay to have children in a gay relationship…. Thats what I want to hear, but I am scared that I am just hearing what I want to hear and not the truth…. What is the truth…?

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
June 7, 2010, 18:44

Hi kachezva

Welcome!! I’m sure many, many others will be able to relate to your situation.

I’m just wondering what factors have led you towards periods of acceptance toward yourself, both within yourself and from God? And what signs have you already been given and which do you still seek?

Thanks for sharing. Being sure that we are loved and accepted is often a process that takes time to realise. Hopefully you have people around who can show you these things which tends to help along the way.


Ann Maree

Joined in 2010
June 7, 2010, 19:17

Well, there are times that I choose to not listen to the “Bible Bashing Truth” and then after a while, i begin to doubt and start to question myself… Am I really hearing from God on this issue or am I hearing what I want to hear? there are so many interpretations of the Bible… How do you know which is right? am I just applying the “Pro Gay” interpretation becuase it allows me to be who I am? But even so, why do I still struggle? 13 years of struggling? I see straight couples and envy how easy it is and wish I could have that. Wish I could experience that…. be “normal”. and I know I could probably live that life, if I broke my gf’s heart and my own heart and found a man and did it the “normal” way… I would be living that “normal fairytale” life, minus the connection to myself and my partner, but perhaps more of a connection to society and to God….

Am I finding it hard to accept that God loves me and accepts me, and its me hiding myself from Him, becasue I have not accepted who I am?or is it the ongoing sin that seperates me from Him, the sin of homosexuality?

Joined in 2010
June 7, 2010, 21:28


Being straight is not without it’s own complications! I know the church portrays being straight as an ideal, but honestly straight, gay or otherwise is not without issues, being straight just removes most of the social persecution.

Does your uncertainty come from inside or outside? We usually think the fault lies with us, but you have been raised in a church and a society which tells you that being gay is wrong, so maybe that’s where the pressure is coming from. The church also places extra pressure on you to ‘be cured’, so maybe that’s why you feel disconnected.

I also believe (and feel free to disagree) that no one/thing can separate you from God unless you allow it too, but that at times we are all guilty of allowing the world to take us away from God. And that external pressures (as I mentioned above) means we are disconnect as we are overwhelmed by the different forces within the world pulling us every which way and finding God’s voice in that can be like finding a needle in a haystack.

I personally don’t believe that being gay is a sin, and the bible honestly doesn’t give a conclusion answer either way, although there is growing support in many church communities that homosexuality is not a sin, or at least the issue is not as black and white as once thought, either way it’s progress. Although sad to say the church has a long road before it’s is widely accepted, and sadly that is just the reality of it.

I also think to deny who you are, who God created you to be, if you are gay then by living in a ‘normal’ straight relationship would ultimately bring you unhappiness, as I believe to deny God is to deny oneself. That being said, if you chose to walk that path it is between you and God and as long as you are right with him you are right with the world.

There’s my two cents, take it or leave it!

You are in my prayers and I hope that God walks with you in all you do, and that his love for you outshines every shadow in this world!

Joined in 2010
June 7, 2010, 21:42

Thanks guys, for your input! Really appreciated… I guess this is my journey and I will work at my Salvation on a daily basis. Its really nice to have other people out there’s encouragement and opinions. It really helps ALOT! So if anyone has anything to add, I really do appriceate it! Thanks again!

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
June 8, 2010, 00:28

Hi kachezva

You ask some great questions.. I recall a time when I too wondered if it was just wishful thinking on my part of needing acceptance of the gay lifestyle that made it convenient to believe that God was alright with it.

But even before I was aware of my own sexuality (it wasn’t evident to me for some time), I felt God speak through me in response to a gay colleague’s question of whether homosexuality was wrong in the sight of God. I remember looking at this man in front of me and seeing both his courage in asking the question and his soft heart. The truth is I really wasn’t so sure about the doctrine at that stage and knew the bible verses seemed damning. And yet, aside from that, I was suddenly filled with a deep compassion that melted away everything else and I just knew God could never be against someone who loved like that man did. He had such a tender, open heart and it mattered to him what God felt.. And I just knew that a God of love could never turn this person away.. And if he did, he wasn’t the God for me or the one I knew. I recall hearing myself say that I didn’t think it mattered to God either way, and what was important – loving others – was being overlooked because people were sidetracked with debates about sexuality and other lesser ideas. I said that if everyone just focused on loving themselves and each other, some of the world’s problems would be overcome and these kinds of questions would become obsolete.

It makes me happy when I recall how deeply touched my colleague was by those words. It was a moment of grace and healing and it was real. It’s experiences like that that tell me God’s OK with homosexuality and so am I.

I very much like holywoman’s comments and agree that we need to be true to ourselves in order to be true to God. And this takes time to work out on a personal level. There’s a cost to being ‘normal’ according to the church or someone else’s views. It can cost you your happiness or sanity and God doesn’t want that. We are meant to live abundantly and truthfully, not according to societal norms. These are just outward things and are not important to God who looks at the heart.

I hope this helps.


Ann Maree

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
June 8, 2010, 04:07

hi kachezva…..great that you found us and have a space where you can talk about these things with people that understand the journey. It hasn’t been smooth for many of us. It is not unusual for some of us to have our ups and downs and even in and out of the closet several times.

Sounds like you are getting some good help, support and caring advise here….which is great.

BTW….I am moving this over to the telling our stories section…….hope you dont mind……..but that is often where people look for a story to relate to and of course some would relate to yours.

Joined in 2010
June 8, 2010, 07:30

Hi kachezva!

as i read your words they could so easily be mine. i have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to homosexuality being a sin or not. i am, too, searching for the peace that i am alright in God’s sight. i know that we are ALL sinners by nature but i am not so sure that i’m a sinner because i am a lesbian. i am on this same journey. trying to shut the world out so that i can just hear from God, but that is SO hard to do. how do i discredit all that i’ve been taught on this subject up to this point? like you said, i can find arguments for both and can easily be pursuaded depending on which one i’m listening to or reading. but let me say that the more i listen to ex-gays the more sceptic i become.

my journey differs in the fact that i did get married (and am still at this time) and have 3 incredible kids. i have that ‘storybook’ life from the outside looking in only. my husband is my best friend but has come to a place of realization that he can not have the intimacy he needs and longs for with me. so now, my struggle also includes doing what’s best for him and the kids.

i would love to stay posted on your journey because it sure does seem like the inner struggles you are having are very parallel with mine.

thanks for sharing and looking forward to journeying with you …

Joined in 2010
June 10, 2010, 02:44


your spiritual experience is so similar to mine! i’m now absolutely comfortable with God being totally okay with me being a lesbian. this was not through periods of many doubt and tears tho. i think it takes time for you to weigh things out, emotionally and mentally. spiritually i think, there’s no room to doubt! For me, the condemnation brought on about homosexuality topics has no weightage at all! bible study leaders, preachers, pastors and all always touch upon the issue of sexuality but never really dive into the core depth of the passage/verse! they touch it lightly and move on to the next topic, leaving the impression to those who are under their guidance to believe that homosexuality is condemned! the thing is, a lot of them dont even know that they are doing it. it’s because society sets the statues quo and because majority of the people on earth, and also people in d bible are straight, those that dont fit into their category are labelled sinful/ungodly.

before i was straight with myself and my orientation (check out the irony in that! lol), i was also leading some people in bible reading and having follow-ups with a few people and i would go relatively against gays and lesbians, without even knowing my scripture correctly and without even knowing what i was going on about. i was so sure what i read was what it meant n what was taught was what was true that i didn’t even do my own research on the issue to come to conclusions. hence why i say that some of the teachers dont even know that they are going about it the wrong way.

personally i think awareness is what people need, to come to “enlightenment”. because i have a strong feeling that if i were to round up 10 of my christian friends together and ask them about homosexuality and their basis of biblical judgement towards us people, they would not have a single true evidence using biblical scripture to be able to stumble us. it’s just the whole hoo-haa of people spreading the surface understanding of a very deep pool. they didn’t even jump in to check out what the scripture really meant. they just look to d surface and think that what they read and learn about is true. i’m very guilty of that and i’m very aware and passionate about this now 😀

oh… haha have i went off topic? i guess to bring things back, God loves you unconditionally, there’s no where in the bible that states that you cannot be in a same-sex, committed, loving and monogamous relationship. and most of the “homosexual” statements in the bible are regarding same-sex sexual activities that happen through ritual of worshiping another god. when i figured that part out, it brought me to tears and God’s unconditional love was just overflowing! and hopefully you’ll come to that understanding as well 🙂 or maybe u’ve already have! :D:D

and yeah, i guess i wrote so much about people not understanding what the bible means is because when i found out what it meant, i finally really saw God as God of my life, the God of love 🙂

great to see u in this community and hope to hear more from you!


Joined in 2010
June 10, 2010, 09:20

THANK YOU Rach! i needed this as well!

it is very hard to sort through all that we have ‘automatically’ taken as truth and what is ‘actual’ truth. this process is very hard to sort through. i wish all my loved ones were doing all the same reseach i am because explaining what i am now starting to believe as truth won’t only be explaining to them but more trying to convince them.

gotta run now … but would love to stay a part of this dialog

Page:   1 2 3
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.123 seconds.