Forums

Lifestyle versus orientation - How did you explain it?

  Page: 1
 
 

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
October 24, 2010, 21:59

If we come out to people, we often hear a response along the lines of “that’s OK if you want to live that lifestyle …”


The dreaded L word :~ I had it recently when I came out to a loved one …


How have you explained the difference between lifestyle and orientation, and what strategy/s are most effective when dialoguing with accepting people who may be ignorant of sexual orientation?

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
October 24, 2010, 23:29

Hi Pierre


I’m sorry you had that response.


No one in their right mind would consciously CHOOSE a “lifestyle” that involves the sorts of discriminations that many of us face in the LGBT community. No sane person would choose to have life made more difficult for them than it already is.


We come out in a heteronormative culture which is anything but easy. And doing so takes enormous courage and has it’s risks. It would be much easier to stay in denial or hide who we are. So why do we do it? It’s because we just want to be true to ourselves despite the hardships that that might bring. It’s not because we’re getting some bonus or privilege for living a gay lifestyle! And anyway, what is “that lifestyle”? Maybe that’s the question which needs to be asked of the person who says it, and for them to to be aware that you don’t know what they mean. It’s also worth them thinking about how they define the heterosexual lifestyle as well. Putting that thought in their mind might make them see the absurdity of their statement. As if there is one lifestyle for any orientation or group of people.


Blessings,


Ann Maree

IanJ
 
Joined in 2009
October 25, 2010, 18:52

I’ve not had to explain it- but it immediately occured to me that I had the orientation LONG before I had the lifestyle (that’s assuming that you don’t consider ‘in the closet’ a lifestyle!)

Ian

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
October 25, 2010, 20:38

It’s also worth them thinking about how they define the heterosexual lifestyle as well. Putting that thought in their mind might make them see the absurdity of their statement.


Thanks Ann Maree,


I think that statement sums it up rather nicely 🙂


Hi Ian,


You’re right … I don’t consider ‘in the closet’ a lifestyle.

RAAF BLOKE
 
Joined in 2010
October 26, 2010, 16:43

Personally, I think a lot of it comes down to educating people and being a testimony to what the Lord can do in someone’s life.


For years, I was performing the role of an evangelical Christian, showing people an alternative to how society and the media perceived Christianity.


As an out gay man, I am now in a role where I am showing people what alternatives there are to live as a gay person, beyond what society perceives a gay person to be. People equate the ‘gay lifestyle’ with Oxford Street and the behaviours associated with it. I believe it is not only our duty to demonstrate to others, that there is a world beyond Oxford Street. It is also our duty as Christians, to create that world so that others who follow us out of the closet have a world of acceptance, understanding and solidarity to come out for.


Does that make sense?

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
October 26, 2010, 17:47

Hi RAAF BLOKE


It sounds like you’re talking about being a positive role model in the community or living your life in an exemplary way that makes others think positively about you and the wider LGBT community. This is very powerful way of changing any predjudices/misconceptions others might have about LGBT people.


It also sounds as if you are taking a lead in creating a supportive space for gay Christians that’s different to the gay scene.


Blessings,


Ann Maree
  Page: 1
 
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.067 seconds.