San Francisco’s Jallen Rix on being ex-gay

http://www.examiner.com/fashion-trends-in-san-francisco/san-francisco-s-jallen-rix-on-being-ex-gay?render=print

* November 10th, 2010 4:54 pm PT

* By Janet & Tresa L…, SF Love Letter Examiners

Coming out can be hard enough. Coming out of the Ex-Gay movement is a whole other matter. Jallen Rix, San Francisco author of Ex Gay No Way, is a firm and gentle voice in the world of self-image and self-acceptance.

As a therapist dealing with sexual issues he knows something about personal torment of people who are the victims of confusing sexual messages. Going blind, growing some thatch of tell-tale hair in the palms of your hands or going insane was a terror flung in the faces of frightened young boys who had nowhere to go with the discomfort of their sexuality. Jallen, who suffered the long-ago promise of becoming ex-gay by going to centers that promised a “cure” talks about his own journey in and out of the program. Put aside what we may now see as the comic relief of the whole plan and listen to Jallen’s journey, which was a serious conflict. He talks about the flaws of the program and the cultish aspects that he saw.

His loving parents, understandably, wanted him to be straight so he could be acceptable to God. His coming-out was a touching struggle with every visit a qualified war zone until Jallen had the strength and grace to put a moratorium on the topic of religion and homosexuality. They were content with that, and Jallen realized if he wanted them to accept him he had to accept them. He knows their convictions, they know his, and it seems the love they have for each other has led them to peace. With insight, kindness, dignity and a desire to help others through the dangerous waters he was finally able to swim, he seeks to guide others to safety. I found it a treat to listen to this lovely man.

From me to you with love in the air,

Janet

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