I came across this site 3 days ago as I want to go back to church again but scared to go because of the bad treatment I got from member of the church in the past.

My name is Josh and I am 37 years old gay Asian man, I came to Australia in 1996. Growing up in christian family, Sunday school and church was part of me and I enjoyed being at church.

When I came to Australia I joined the Indonesian Pentecostal church in Melbourne, I was active in the church for 8 years and the people at church treated me well. However, that all changed when I came out to my flatmates who are members of the church (up until now I still regret making that decision). From there on, the pastor advised me to do program which according to him could help me but didn't and this led to most members of the church didn't talk to me. That I could cope but it was the gossip and some of the comments made by them about me being burnt in hell and will not part of kingdom of God as per 1 Corinthian 6:9 -10 and especially about my parents that made me really upset.

Then I decided to leave the church. After leaving the church, I went into depression and I was thinking of ending my life which I tried by taking lots of drugs. The doctor told me I was lucky to still be alive because had i arrive 30 minutes late, it could have been different.

I still have that suicide thought when I feel low nowadays and when this happens I just listen to Gospel songs and that helps. I know I need to seek help for this but once again I am afraid of being judged because of my sexuality.

I am sharing this story because I want to be part of the church again but I am worried if that bad experience I had will happen again.

Is it wrong for being gay and christian? Is it too much to ask for people at church to accept me for I am?

I am hoping that one day I could go back to church again and being welcomed not matter what my background is.

I am so happy to find this site knowing that I am not alone for being gay and christian and hopefully this site will enable to find a church I can call home and find advice or counselling to sort out my problem because deep down I know I need help.

Thank you for reading my story.

God bless.

Hi joshlucky,

I sympathize with you. I understand your struggle but the church is not worth committing suicide over – it generally portrays itself as a being a 'no-gay zone' traditionally so it is going to take time for it to change. My experience is that God has no trouble loving and accepting us and continuing to be with us every day of our lives 24/7. Stay connected to Him first and foremost and rest in Him – you don't have to be in church to do that – worshipping God at home is a great way to beat off those depressive thoughts – I highly agree. I have heard that Bayside Church in Melbourne with Ps Rob Buckingham may be more loving to gays. But to be honest there seems to be always someone rejecting someone for some reason or other – eg: because a person is freckled, or coloured, or has red hair, or blonde hair, or a big nose, etc etc not to mention being 'gay' – it all gets a bit much – so how are we going to handle this lifelong issue. I would say be true to yourself – be who you are – you are okay – God made us and knew all about us when He brought us into His Kingdom so really the battle with regard to the church and its parishioners belongs to Him and their argument against us is not with us but with Him because we are already His. I am a baptized – born-again – praying-in-tongues gay Believer – God's workmanship in my life. Don't let yourself get discouraged.

Blessings ~ Wangajen

Hi Joshlucky,

Thanks for sharing your story.

I also came to Australia in 1996. I wasn't a Christina then. After decided to follow Christ in 2003, like many, I started to question my faith and Christianity. freedom2b definitely has helped me to connect with others and journey with others together. I eventually found a good church that I can belong to. It's a church that open for everyone. There are now many churches are very supportive, but also be mindful that there are some churches are still not very accepting. Thus, it's best to talk to people before deciding going to a particular church. But regardless how churches are treating others, one thing we can be sure of, God loves every single one of us.

You're not the only one. We are all here for you and supporting you. freedom2b provides a safe place. Hopefully will see you in one of the meetings one day. Please feel free to keep writing as much as you want on this forum. We would like to keep hearing from you.

Hi Josh

The next meeting in Melbourne is this Friday 20th Feb. Check out this link for the address, time and other details.

http://www.freedom2b.org/events/melbourne/

Feel free to send Michelle a private message if you have any further questions and she will be happy to make you feel welcome. Michelle and Linda do a great job in running the group. 🙂

Blessings,

Ann Maree