I’ve always been bi, but as a committed Christian I chose to get married and have been happily married for 22 years. I have two beautiful daughters 21 & 19 who are both serving the Lord. My wife and I were in ministry for a long time but now have different roles. Still in Christian organisations.

My life is great but it would just be so much better with a like minded friend who can understand my struggles, be affectionate towards me, but also help me to stay faithful to my wife.

Over the years I have done such things as Living Waters and read all the Exodus stuff. It is sad to see that all of that support structure for guys struggling with unwanted same sex attraction has crumbled.

I had to do my journey basically by myself and while I am selfishly looking for a friend to meet my own needs, my hearts desire is to be able to offer someone else the support that I wish I had on my own journey. Over the years I have been like a Dad to quite a number of young guys, not all struggling with same sex attraction. Seeing them become the men they are today has been one of my greatest joys as I can see how God has used my own brokenness to make me aware of the brokenness in others and be a vessel of strength and support for them.

My wife is very supportive of me and is open to me having an affectionate but non-sexual friend, but I have found that so hard to find. At church there are some great guys there, but as I’ve been a pastor I’m not keen to share my brokenness with them, they are also not at a stage of life where they are wanting to hang out. On gay sites guys think I’m abnormal because I don’t want to have sex. I found another Christian site for gays, but they mostly support being sexually active and actually were quite nasty towards me when I upheld more of a traditional biblical approach.

I am not a judgemental person, I have a gay uncle who has been in a long-term relationship, my sister is engaged to her female partner in NZ, but my personal decision is to accept the authority of scripture and to try my best to live within that. It would be nice to meet some people who are on the same page.

There is an american forum, the gay christian network: http://www.gaychristian.net/community/index.php?

Once you've signed up, there are 2 forums which may give you online support, but I think there is a 1 month waiting period.

They are 'Side B(abstaining from same-gender sex for moral reasons) curious' and 'Side B support'.

You go to your control panel, click on 'my groups' and then tick the ones you want.

Take care,

Renee.

I wonder if this article of mine has any relevance to your situation

INTRODUCTION

‘Situational heterosexual’ is a term I’ve used for several years to describe myself when people have asked how I could have been married for so many years and yet be gay. This term has also helped people gain a clearer understanding of what really happens when someone who is homosexual marries someone of the opposite sex and claims change. Confusion about what really happens in these situations still exists and often wrongly reinforces the ‘homosexuality is a choice’ and ‘homosexuals can change’ myths.

How often have you heard someone say something like this ‘They couldn’t be gay, they’re married’ assuming that having a wife by your side and produced children means a person must be straight. When someone says that to me, I just smile……remain silent for a while having been a gay man in a heterosexual marriage) and wait for what I’m actually thinking to sink into the consciousness of the person who made the naïve statement.

Read more here http://gayambassador.blogspot.com.au/2010/04/most-misunderstood-concept-in-ex-gay.html

Quote from cheval319 on March 18, 2015, 5:44 pm

There is an american forum, the gay christian network: http://www.gaychristian.net/community/index.php?

Once you've signed up, there are 2 forums which may give you online support, but I think there is a 1 month waiting period.

They are 'Side B(abstaining from same-gender sex for moral reasons) curious' and 'Side B support'.

You go to your control panel, click on 'my groups' and then tick the ones you want.

Take care,

Renee.

Hi Renee

It was actually that site that I had a very difficult time on. According to their definitions I am "side B". I was probably a bit naive as I really didn't realise that there would be two sides on this site. I thought I had finally found a site where I would meet a Christian guy in the same situation as me and we could offer each other support. Someone pointed out to me that I was a side B and suggested that forum. It seemed however like I was the only side B in Australia let alone Sydney. Some of the side A guys were actually very nasty about my side B position including a ex-pastor. I was quite shocked and actually got treated better on gay sites. So I just decided to get out of there and have not gone back.

I saw this site mentioned in an article about Hillsong and are hoping I don't get the same treatment.

All I want to do is find a safe supportive friend and offer that in return.

Hi JustMates

Freedom2b's Mission can be found here http://www.freedom2b.org/about/mission/

We take that mission and the guidelines quite seriously.

I would particularly point out the following guidelines points which I think relate what you talk about

freedom2b is non judgmental. We make no judgment about the way you live your life or express your sexual orientation. You are responsible to live your life in ways that demonstrate respect to yourself and others

and

freedom2b has no agenda. It is not our intention to get people to leave churches or go back to them or tell them what they should believe. That is your decision and journey. Our only intention is to provide a space for people to grow and resolve any issues they may have about their sexuality and/or their beliefs. Once again the choices are yours.

We have people who are walking many different paths. We provide a safe place for them to find the path that is right for them at this time. There is no expectation about what that path is – or that it must always be that path.

You may find it interesting to browse through our stories. Some in our community are married and still with their wives although the path they walk can differ with each couple.