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zoe
 
Joined in 2008
January 29, 2014, 22:06

Hi guys.. I haven't been around much as just been trying to sort myself out. I have a conundrum !! My 3 girls have been through the mum married to dad, leaves for woman, has a couple of serious Rships, throws the whole fam into the gay scene, reverts back to a couple of short lived male flings & makes a 5 yr female best friend – come Clayton's partner.. So in other words they've been stuffed around a bit. In the last 5-7 yrs I renounced homosexuality went into Christian counselling , got totally involved in a charismatic Pentecostal homophobic church.. Youngest child still in tow at this point !! So I leave the church again over 12mths ago as i just couldn't get it to sit right. My daughter has remained involved in 2 churches – which I'm ok about but how do I support her given she's hearing them telling her one thing & my two best friends who are her greatest supporters ( as she has special needs) are both gay.. I can see she's really struggling with it all. Suggestions greatly appreciated ???

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
January 30, 2014, 22:17

Hi Zoe

You said:


My daughter has remained involved in 2 churches – which I'm ok about but how do I support her given she's hearing them telling her one thing & my two best friends who are her greatest supporters ( as she has special needs) are both gay.. I can see she's really struggling with it all. Suggestions greatly appreciated ???


I guess you just keep loving her and giving her opportunities to ask questions while answering them in a balanced way that she can understand. She will come to see for herself what's real and true. You mentioned she has special needs – what is her understanding and cognitive function like? And does she enjoy the churches she is involved in? What does she like about them?

Blessings,

Ann Maree

zoe
 
Joined in 2008
January 30, 2014, 23:10

Hi ann Maree,

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes she does enjoy – mainly because they accept her with all of her challenges. She is 18 but functions at about 13-14. It's her way & place to be social & I want her to make her own choices. Some days she has no problem with things & other days she can be quite insensitive to the gay people around her ( not to intentionally hurt – just with comments) .

Cheers

K

Mother Hen
 
Joined in 2011
January 31, 2014, 11:07

Hi Zoe,


Due to her upbringing so far your daughter has been exposed to a variety of different people from different backgrounds, religious beliefs and sexual orientation. So it that respect she has been fortunate as most children are exposed to one way of living and people that fit in with that. I think it's wonderful that she has been able to see that the world is made up of many different people and that is ok, we don't all have to be the same. I would encourage her, as I am sure you already do, to be accepting, embrace everyone's differences and don't judge. And that people should have the freedom to be who they are. As you encourage and support her to be herself and led by example and as Ann Maree said be open to all and any questions she will come to realise things aren't as black and white as the church maybe telling her. I would also gently point out how the things people say can be hurtful whether intentional or not and that we should all think about how the words we say may have an impact on other's.


God bless
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