Q&A - freedom2b Perth February Meeting

Page:   1 2

Joined in 2012
January 27, 2013, 21:58

I really believe that if you are true to yourself then anyone who has a problem with that is the person who has the problem.

Well said!

That's one thing I've come to realize. It has taken me like 10 years and a lot of self loathing, but it's so true. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they aren't worth your time because life's too short to deal with all the psychological crap, mind games, and negativity! As Lady Gaga said at one of her concerts once between 1:04 and 1:33, well, you will have to hear it for yourself ^_^ Gaga is such an inspiration for me.

Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
January 29, 2013, 17:01

Hi Sarab,

Quote from sarab on January 26, 2013, 7:35 pm

My question relates to those Christians who are out and how one balances being authentic – sharing aspects of one's life while knowing that doing so is going to upset some people or make them feel "uncomfortable". I am talking about for example, people at work who would find it "uncomfortable" to even hear me talk of going to a lesbian discussion group, let alone Christian friends who would have heart failure and would want to at the very least pray for my soul… How do you decide whether it's you who remains uncomfortable (by remaining silent) or other people…?



As you know I'm not Gay so can't answer your questions as someone who is "Christian and Out". However I can understand you wanting to be yourself and not hide who you are from your friends, work mates etc. Couple of things, reality is we ALL (straight or Gay) hide different aspects from other people regardless of who we are, we do not reveal all to everyone, for whatever reasons. Personally I don't have any issue with doing that nor do I wish to know everything about everyone else.

2nd whether we like it or not there are prejudices out there. Doesn't mean it's right but they still exist. In a work environment I think everyone needs to be careful about sharing aspects of our lives that could be detrimental to us. For example work colleagues or a boss who do have prejudices against someone who is gay, so the gay person is by passed for promotions, or excluded from work related functions etc even though that is illegal.

3rd I think that out of respect for other's we can all at times not talk about stuff that other's might find boring, topics that they might be uncomfortable with, jokes other's might find offensive or sexist etc. Has nothing to do with being gay.

Of course this all depends on the environment, group of friends, circumstances, conversation at the time etc And of course this in no way suggests you shouldn't be you and be honest to yourself with who you are.

Anyway just my thoughts 🙂

Joined in 2011
January 29, 2013, 21:32

Thanks Graham, Jordan and Mother Hen,

I agree Graham and Jordan – it's important to be who you are and to be authentic. I actually have no problem with this and have always pretty much had the courage of my convictions. On one level I agree Graham and Jordan that the people who may have a problem with me and my sexuality are perhaps the people with the problem. However, in the work place and in relationships with people who may not be best buddies or people of tremendous close emotional significance – yet who are significant because I have regular contact or a professional or even a church related relationship with – this becomes a trickier proposition just to say "you're the one with the problem". After all, we still need to find a way to relate to these people.

I have been able to narrow down my thoughts on this – and I think the problem is not really anything to do with my own fear or concern for myself… I can deal with what others dish up to me – and in fact I don't expect anyone to openly have a go at me – I would be highly surprised at people in my circle if they did. Rather, my concern has been about not wanting to make others feel uncomfortable. And, this is where I found Mother Hen's statements really helpful. I think you are right – and I had almost come to the same conclusion myself – that all of us self censor to one degree or another in different environments. It may be because of self protection or it may be out of respect for others. I might swear like a trooper with my best friend – but I won't at work or at church… Mother Hen – you have given me advice previously on this forum which suggested that I "listen to my own body" in terms of helping me make decisions about what is comfortable or not. I think if I merge your bits of advice together, along with Graham and Jordan's endorsement about being true to oneself or authentic – I end up in a place where I think that I will make a decision at the time – depending upon how uncomfortable I feel. That is – if my sense of self is compromised, if I compromise my own authenticity – then I will disclose – even at the risk of making other's feel uncomfortable. However, I will also be mindful that my business is not everyone's business. My parents have already expressed some concern about the impact of my being out at my workplace and the implications of this – I am mindful also of this yet also ready to stand my ground if need be. I also spoke with a counsellor last week around these issues so all this input from you here and from counselling has been tremendously helpful.

It's a crappy situation that I need to even think so hard on this and to be quite honest it #h&ts me that while I am considering how not to upset other people… that sadly my homophobic friends and colleagues aren't really affording others (and potentially me) the same courtesy.

Anyway – thanks for your feedback – it's been quite a lot of round and round about thinking on this for me!

Let's hope the Perth f2bers can shed some more illumination on the topic!


Joined in 2012
January 30, 2013, 13:40

I would like to know what you think of the passages in the Bible in which homosexuality is referred to, where it is considered as a sin. These are as follows:

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. Romans 1: 26-28

9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10

Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
January 30, 2013, 13:48

Hi iana,

I'm sure your questions will be passed onto the Perth Group, these sort of questions always bring about some great discussions 🙂 Just thought for your information I would add a link that might help answer some of those questions for you 🙂

God Bless

Graham Douglas-Meyer
Joined in 2009
January 30, 2013, 21:07

Hi iana, could you please tell me which translation you got these texts from, as they do read differently in different txts.

Kind regards


Joined in 2011
January 31, 2013, 19:32

Thanks for all these great questions and the discussion. I think our discussion on Friday night will be great and we can feed back into the forum answers that come out of it.

In relation to Iana's question, you may be interested to know that the guest speaker at the March meeting of the Perth Chapter will be Bill Loader, Emeritus Professor of New Testament at Murdoch University in Perth. He will be speaking on the topic of "The few NT passages which mention same sex relationships, what they meant in their context and what do we make of them today?" Bill has been a long term supporter of gay and lesbian people and is recognised as a leading world authority on these NT passages. We can pass on to the Forum insights that come out of this meeting.


Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
January 31, 2013, 20:15

Thanks Bev. That sounds great – I really look forward to hearing what insights come from your meeting. 🙂


Ann Maree

Joined in 2011
February 4, 2013, 15:23

Had a great meeting on Friday night with lots of discussion about the questions. So thank you to all who submitted questions.

Discussed the issue of what is "natural" or "normal". Some people believe that only hetereosexuality is natural and everything else is unnatural and abnormal. But most people today seem to believe there is a spectrum of sexuality, between those who are wholly heterosexual and those who are wholly homosexual and lots in between. No matter where you are on the spectrum, you are normal and what you do is natural for you. Those who cling to the other view seem to be driven by the idea that who they are is normal and everyone else is abnormal. It is very hard to make them think otherwise, but important that we do not accept thier ideas that we are abnormal.

Great discussion about whether and when to disclose your sexuality to another person. Issues to consider include whether you feel safe in the relationship (always avoid putting yourself in an unsafe position), whether the relationship is important to you or not (if you do value the relationship then it is usually best to be open, even if you risk a bad reaction), whether it is a fleeting association or someone you will have a long term relationship with (why go through all the drama of telling someone when you may not see them again), whether disclosure of your sexuality is relevant to the relationship (for example is it relevant to tell your boss or your clients at work when all he/she should be concerned about is whether you do the job properly, not your personal life). It was also pointed out that all of us, gay and straight, have parts of our lives that we keep private and do not share with others and this is OK. Coming out is a long term process because all of us constantly meet new people and often those new people assume that we are heterosexual so we constantly face the decision of Do I disclose or not? There are no right or wrong answers here- we each need to make our own judgements.

We are looking forward to our March meeting with Bill Loader will be our guest speaker on the NT clobber passages!


Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
February 4, 2013, 18:40

Hi Bev

Thanks for posting this. Sounds like you had a great discussion at your meeting. 🙂

I have found too that some anti gay people refer to 'natural' relations as only being those between a man and woman because this leads to procreation! Never mind those poor heterosexual people who are infertile, have other medical contraindications that stop them being pregnant or are not in a position to have children perhaps due to financial or socio-cultural constraints. Following their argument of procreation as being natural, those people must be unnatural too.

Meanwhile, your next meeting sounds like it will be excellent. 🙂

I look forward to hearing more. 🙂


Ann Maree

Page:   1 2
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.071 seconds.