I really believe that if you are true to yourself then anyone who has a problem with that is the person who has the problem.

Well said!

That's one thing I've come to realize. It has taken me like 10 years and a lot of self loathing, but it's so true. If someone doesn't like you for who you are, they aren't worth your time because life's too short to deal with all the psychological crap, mind games, and negativity! As Lady Gaga said at one of her concerts once between 1:04 and 1:33, well, you will have to hear it for yourself ^_^ Gaga is such an inspiration for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGPzE-7Sx2U

Thanks Graham, Jordan and Mother Hen,

I agree Graham and Jordan – it's important to be who you are and to be authentic. I actually have no problem with this and have always pretty much had the courage of my convictions. On one level I agree Graham and Jordan that the people who may have a problem with me and my sexuality are perhaps the people with the problem. However, in the work place and in relationships with people who may not be best buddies or people of tremendous close emotional significance – yet who are significant because I have regular contact or a professional or even a church related relationship with – this becomes a trickier proposition just to say "you're the one with the problem". After all, we still need to find a way to relate to these people.

I have been able to narrow down my thoughts on this – and I think the problem is not really anything to do with my own fear or concern for myself… I can deal with what others dish up to me – and in fact I don't expect anyone to openly have a go at me – I would be highly surprised at people in my circle if they did. Rather, my concern has been about not wanting to make others feel uncomfortable. And, this is where I found Mother Hen's statements really helpful. I think you are right – and I had almost come to the same conclusion myself – that all of us self censor to one degree or another in different environments. It may be because of self protection or it may be out of respect for others. I might swear like a trooper with my best friend – but I won't at work or at church… Mother Hen – you have given me advice previously on this forum which suggested that I "listen to my own body" in terms of helping me make decisions about what is comfortable or not. I think if I merge your bits of advice together, along with Graham and Jordan's endorsement about being true to oneself or authentic – I end up in a place where I think that I will make a decision at the time – depending upon how uncomfortable I feel. That is – if my sense of self is compromised, if I compromise my own authenticity – then I will disclose – even at the risk of making other's feel uncomfortable. However, I will also be mindful that my business is not everyone's business. My parents have already expressed some concern about the impact of my being out at my workplace and the implications of this – I am mindful also of this yet also ready to stand my ground if need be. I also spoke with a counsellor last week around these issues so all this input from you here and from counselling has been tremendously helpful.

It's a crappy situation that I need to even think so hard on this and to be quite honest it #h&ts me that while I am considering how not to upset other people… that sadly my homophobic friends and colleagues aren't really affording others (and potentially me) the same courtesy.

Anyway – thanks for your feedback – it's been quite a lot of round and round about thinking on this for me!

Let's hope the Perth f2bers can shed some more illumination on the topic!

Sarab

Hi iana,

I'm sure your questions will be passed onto the Perth Group, these sort of questions always bring about some great discussions 🙂 Just thought for your information I would add a link that might help answer some of those questions for you 🙂 http://www.freedom2b.org/forums/resources-from-brisbane-chapter-meeting-what-does-the-bible-actually-say-about-homosexuality-t1934/

God Bless

Thanks for all these great questions and the discussion. I think our discussion on Friday night will be great and we can feed back into the forum answers that come out of it.

In relation to Iana's question, you may be interested to know that the guest speaker at the March meeting of the Perth Chapter will be Bill Loader, Emeritus Professor of New Testament at Murdoch University in Perth. He will be speaking on the topic of "The few NT passages which mention same sex relationships, what they meant in their context and what do we make of them today?" Bill has been a long term supporter of gay and lesbian people and is recognised as a leading world authority on these NT passages. We can pass on to the Forum insights that come out of this meeting.

Bev

Had a great meeting on Friday night with lots of discussion about the questions. So thank you to all who submitted questions.

Discussed the issue of what is "natural" or "normal". Some people believe that only hetereosexuality is natural and everything else is unnatural and abnormal. But most people today seem to believe there is a spectrum of sexuality, between those who are wholly heterosexual and those who are wholly homosexual and lots in between. No matter where you are on the spectrum, you are normal and what you do is natural for you. Those who cling to the other view seem to be driven by the idea that who they are is normal and everyone else is abnormal. It is very hard to make them think otherwise, but important that we do not accept thier ideas that we are abnormal.

Great discussion about whether and when to disclose your sexuality to another person. Issues to consider include whether you feel safe in the relationship (always avoid putting yourself in an unsafe position), whether the relationship is important to you or not (if you do value the relationship then it is usually best to be open, even if you risk a bad reaction), whether it is a fleeting association or someone you will have a long term relationship with (why go through all the drama of telling someone when you may not see them again), whether disclosure of your sexuality is relevant to the relationship (for example is it relevant to tell your boss or your clients at work when all he/she should be concerned about is whether you do the job properly, not your personal life). It was also pointed out that all of us, gay and straight, have parts of our lives that we keep private and do not share with others and this is OK. Coming out is a long term process because all of us constantly meet new people and often those new people assume that we are heterosexual so we constantly face the decision of Do I disclose or not? There are no right or wrong answers here- we each need to make our own judgements.

We are looking forward to our March meeting with Bill Loader will be our guest speaker on the NT clobber passages!

Bev