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Retired/ Former Baptist Pastor/married/gay/not out

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davidt
 
Joined in 2009
August 4, 2010, 21:02

Famous last words. I said I would never come out. Well, as a man with a few grey hairs I have since started to come out after all these years. The relief has been enormous. Not coming out has affected my health in very significant ways.


I am planning to come out to my kids who are now parents themselves in the next couple of weeks.


Please remember me would you?

RaulG
 
Joined in 2010
August 4, 2010, 21:30

Hello David,


Glad to see you. I found your article very enlightening (I too have worked to explain the reality of those passages to our brethren in faith, both gay and straight alike).


I am so thrilled that the Lord has utilized you to help so many people!


Yours in Christ,


Raul

mrg
 
Joined in 2010
August 4, 2010, 23:27

Please remember me would you?


Praying for you brother.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
August 9, 2010, 10:52

hi DavidT…….I’ve worked with guys that have come out in their 60’s………some would say why bother…….my reply is …..it is better to live day on this planet being true to yourself than an entire lifetime which is a lie.


Often we dont realise how damaging it can be living in the closet……..damaging mentally, emotionally and psychologically. We have learnt to shut it down……but it erodes. http://lgbttraining.blogspot.com/p/mom-faqs.html


glad to know you are finding the release and relief.

davidt
 
Joined in 2009
September 16, 2010, 16:20

Coming out to my son and his wife a few weeks ago went really well. I am so grateful to them for their acceptance and encouragement.


Next Monday 20/9, I am planning on coming out to my daughter and her husband. They have been involved with Hillsong and other Pentecostal churches and I am trusting it will go OK.


My two worlds that I have tried so hard to keep apart for so long are finally coming together.


Would you pray for me next Monday afternoon please? I will let you know how it goes.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
September 16, 2010, 18:11

Hi David


Wow! That’s so good! Well done! It must feel nice to have had a positive response from family members.

And what a relief to have that openness with them now and know you won’t be judged. 🙂


How do you think your daughter and her husband will respond and what makes you think that? Any indications or sign posts thus far?


I will definitely put in some prayer for you and be thinking of you on Monday.


Great to hear from you, David.


Blessings,


Ann Maree



davidt
 
Joined in 2009
September 16, 2010, 20:19

Hi Ann Marie


Thanks for the encouragement.


I guess I will never know until after it happens and even then it may take some time for them to process the fact that their Dad is gay. I expect they will be surprised.


It may take some change in attitude as I am not sure what their views of gays are at the moment. I wouldn’t surprise me if they were negative from their church experiences. It’s hard to tell. The fact that I am gay has been medically proven and that I will not be leaving my wife or going anywhere will probably help when I come out. We have been married 40 years this year.


The relief of bringing my two worlds together after all these years is enormous. It is just so good.

It’s as though I have been holding this huge ball under water for years. The pressure that is released when I let go is just incredible.


Thanks so much for your prayer support. That means a lot.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
September 16, 2010, 23:38

Hi David


You’re very welcome for the support. What will you do in case their response is not as positive as you would like? Do you have someone you can talk with? In these sorts of situations, I find it helpful to prepare for all possible outcomes. But that’s the planner in me. It also allows better coping with and acceptance of the other’s stance if theirs should differ from mine..


Blessings,


Ann Maree

davidt
 
Joined in 2009
September 26, 2010, 11:18

There has been a change of plan in terms of timing. There are medical issues in relation to our daughter which make it wise to defer coming out to them just at the moment. It will happen but not just now. She is OK though.


When that time comes I have an excellent counsellor who is Paul Martin and I could always chat with him if it were needed. Paul is the Freedom 2b(e) psychologist. I would not hesitate to recommend him. He is a particularly good guy and is the Principal Psychologist at the Centre for Human Potential at 243 Edward St Brisbane. Telephone 07 3211 1117. Paul is gay himself and he really understands.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 7, 2010, 13:08

hey David T……..yep it is so good when we can deal with the fragmentation of self and begin to live openly, honestly and authentically…….no more darkness and living in the light. What a relief.


When it is time to tell your Hillsong relatives I’d be interested to know their reaction.


In the Hillsong churches there is the entire spectrum of attitudes and beliefs about same sex orientation and homosexuality. On the dark side are those who would say you are evil and would suggest you go into and ex-gay program (and give you the details of organisations) to those who are more enlightened and would say “SO……you’re gay SO WHAT!. God loves everyone and you being gay and Christian are not mutually exclusive.


Hoping your family are in the latter category and not the former.


did you know that Paul is one of our advisors


http://www.freedom2b.org/about/board-advisors-patrons
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