…anyone find it hard to handle?

Hehe. I know I’ve started this in a crazy way, but with a serious purpose.

I went to a wedding on Saturday. It was the first one I’d been to for a while, I think it was the first one since I ‘came out’.

And I found it really tough. I was mentally editing the words of the service… have to change that bit, have to DELETE that bit, etc.

It probably didn’t help that this was people from my old church that I left last year (although the wedding was held in a different church building with a more ‘traditional’ look). There were quite a few people I hadn’t seen for 10-11 months, including the Minister that I fell out with. He didn’t say a single word to me either at the church or the reception, and I didn’t say a single word to him either. I had a bit of discussion ABOUT him, either with others who have left that church or who are hanging on a bit grimly.

I thought I got through the experience alright, and quite enjoyed myself, but then I collapsed into a bout of depression on Sunday and Monday.

I know that single people generally can find weddings hard going, but… to sit there and be so conscious of feeling excluded from this ritual… it was really challenging.

Well, you say ‘irrespective of the legalities’ but that’s a pretty big whopping part of the whole deal.

It’s actually illegal to have something that looks like a wedding but isn’t. Of course, you’re probably safe because everyone KNOWS that two guys can’t possibly get married. 😕

Hey Orfeo

My take on it is that we have equal rights as same sex de-factos under recent federal government amendments – so whether or not the “marriage” is a marriage, or evidence of an equally legally enfranchised de facto relationship, is for me a matter of semantics not substance. Now I don’t mean to try to lift you out of your depression by being upbeat (lol) – that’s just how I see it.

What illegality are you referring to in relation to something “looking” like a marriage? Is that specific to the ACT civil unions legislation which was recently passed, or are you referring to the Marriage Act? What is the maximum penalty for this offence?

Now – as for bad jokes – this is DEFINITELY the time. A little drag number at the altar could do wonders for the health of a marriage.

Peace and love

Pent.

Thanks Orfeo

Interesting on the marriage act offences. Obviously there is a need to protect people against those fraudulently purporting to participate in or be qualified to solemnise a marriage. But it’s good to see that those provisions are not going to apply to my partner and I having a cermeony we call a marriage, where all involved know it is not legally a marriage.

Other than that, I guess I’m the glass half full kind of guy. We can be joined in holy union before God, in a cermeony that helps define our legal relationship under state legislation, which relationship receives effective legal equality in all material respects under federal law. I see this as a “lateral thinking” victory – in that we have everything except the privilege to call what we have the same thing as what the straight people are allowed to call it.

But ultimately – yes indeed, it would be nice if there were none of these artificial and at times hurtful distinctions.

Interestingly enough, you are even more fortunate in the ACT than we are in Qld in terms of having a civil relationship register (and how disappointing the federal government struck down full marriage bill proposed by the ACT government …)

I think what gets me to the knowledge that there are people out there who would still see a same-sex couple as not ‘really’ a couple.

Sitting through a marriage service involves being reminded repeatedly that marriage is the union of a man and woman. It’s said several times, or at least it was in this service.

But yes I’m also pretty greedy. To me, as a Christian and a lawyer, marriage is both religious and legal. And I want it all! When I find Mr. Right I want the right to stand in a church and make vows to him, and to sign the certificate.

And when they get to the “if anyone knows any reason why these two can not be lawfully joined together”, and some jerk up the back yells something about his understanding of Leviticus, I want to wave a copy of the new, modified Marriage Act at him and say “THAT’S the law”. 😯 😆