Hi 4JC

Which country are you living in? I agree with yourself and Ian that you need to find someone to talk with as soon as possible, preferably in your own language who understands about gay issues. There are gay community phone lines that provide resources and supports for people and also gay-friendly counsellors. You could search for these on the net. You could also ask for someone who speaks your first language to make things easier.

Depending on where you are, and you can message me privately about that if you like, I or one of the others here may be able to give more suggestions to you.

Keep talking to us. We appreciate the great effort you take when English is not your first language. You’re amazing!

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Yesterday i went to church and I went for prayer after the service.I only told I had some emotional problems It helped. Most of the time I’m open what God wants to say to me.

In the evening I went to a friend’s place. We had great conversations over the last mounts but never about my most personal struggle. I told him that I had difficult week with emotions without telling what the real problem was.

In our conversation he said something about gay people that he is a homophobic and he finds it (disgusting) :~ .

He was telling about a other guy who is not outed in church that he thinks is gay because he has some traits.

In some way he struggled with some same sex attraction when he was younger because of abuse. (He can be bi)

For the side: We get along and I have no feelings for him because he is not my type but is just a good friend and I never assumed that he struggled.

So I didn’t outed to him.

6 months passed of my last post.

The Last 6 months where very said because my only brother passed away I lost my mother almost 4 years ago. We where not best friends or something but he was my brother. Now after five months I start to realise what it is not to have a older brother. So in this I still grieve and miss him but in all of this God comes with his peace, peace in my heart and mind to comfort me. The biggest thing that break my hearth that he wasn’t a Christian so I don’ know if he is with the Lord. If he knew the Lord Jesus then will I have the assurance he was in heaven and now I have leave it in HIS hands and to His judgement. But we don’t know what happens when a person dies.

I therms of my orientation I know I’m gay and attracted to man and I can’t change it God didn’t change it. I have to accept and be honest to myself that I’m gay or I will not be happy. (when I became a Christian I rejected it and tried to change myself)

I gave up years ago but still for many years I have rejected myself self rejection brings in depression and thoughts of suicide. For the moment I not ready to say that I’m gay to the people of my world. Its possible that the day will come when I update my facebook account that I’m interested in men. But for now I have to communicate it to closer people and to some not. Some know. But in therms of accepting myself I much more closer.

When God allows me I hope that I can build a pure and healthy relationship with a Christian man not build on lust build on love and friendship and trust.

Johnny

Hi Johnny

I’m very sorry to learn of the passing of your brother. I hear you that it’s still a big loss to work through even though you were not super-close to him.

It sounds like you are moving forward in your journey of accepting yourself and in disclosing your orientation to those closest to you. Good for you! What’s helped you in this process?

Your goal of being in a loving relationship with a Christian man sounds lovely. I wish you well with this. 🙂

Blessings,

Ann Maree

6 months passed of my last post.

The Last 6 months where very said because my only brother passed away I lost my mother almost 4 years ago. We where not best friends or something but he was my brother. Now after five months I start to realise what it is not to have a older brother. So in this I still grieve and miss him but in all of this God comes with his peace, peace in my heart and mind to comfort me. The biggest thing that break my hearth that he wasn’t a Christian so I don’ know if he is with the Lord. If he knew the Lord Jesus then will I have the assurance he was in heaven and now I have leave it in HIS hands and to His judgement. But we don’t know what happens when a person dies.

I therms of my orientation I know I’m gay and attracted to man and I can’t change it God didn’t change it. I have to accept and be honest to myself that I’m gay or I will not be happy. (when I became a Christian I rejected it and tried to change myself)

I gave up years ago but still for many years I have rejected myself self rejection brings in depression and thoughts of suicide. For the moment I not ready to say that I’m gay to the people of my world. Its possible that the day will come when I update my facebook account that I’m interested in men. But for now I have to communicate it to closer people and to some not. Some know. But in therms of accepting myself I much more closer.

When God allows me I hope that I can build a pure and healthy relationship with a Christian man not build on lust build on love and friendship and trust.

Johnny

Hi Johnny,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I have an older brother, and I know that I would be devastated if he died. 🙁

On the other hand, I am so pleased that you have begun to accept yourself and being gay, and that you desire a loving relationship with a man as well. That is amazing progress. It takes a big step – I know, because I have been there too. And telling some close friends is a big step too. 🙂 It takes courage, especially as we make ourselves vulnerable.

God Bless you Mate! 🙂