Hi Sandy

Always good to hear from you! 🙂 You do have a direct way of expressing yourself, don’t you? 😉 I agree that this is a good idea. And like I said earlier, there are bound to be times when it feels safer on a one-to-one basis, sometimes because the material discussed is too personal. And on occasions, I’ve withheld because I know my views are probably too ‘out there’. I wonder what others’ reaons are…

I just thought of something that we do need to consider if people are PMíng a lot. that is…..they might be offering advice to someone that might not be helpful…..even damaging. the person recieving that might feel that the person is doing that with some level of experience or authority because they are active on the forum.

The beauty I guess of leaving things on the forum instead of PMíng is that you can get a variety of perspectives and experiences.

Well I’m not for or against this because it’s never really been an issue for me but you could always look at it this way:

1. If you post you are opening up the potential for support from more than just one person

2. If you want to build a friendship with a particular person why not cross-post in both the forum and PM. That way you get the personal responce from your friend via PM that’s for your eyes only and the added benifit of the opinions of others plus knowing that your post might be interesting or helpful for others.

3. Agreed, some personal things really shouldn’t be posted on the forum but sometimes the definition of personal can be too broad. You do have a username to hide behind 🙂

4. Erm…isn’t THIS a chat system of sorts? I get that people may want to talk about stuff that isn’t Christian or GLBT related so a chat system is best for that but for stuff that is relevant why not just chat here? It’s as good a place as any. Or, again, cross post the stuff that is relevant if you’d rather talk in real-time.

Really I think it’s just a matter of considering your options and making an informed decision now you know its an issue. There will be some times when PM is best for everyone involved, even the lurkers! But having said that we are supposed to be a ‘community’ not a bunch of individuals pairing off into cliques like its highschool.

I see the merit in all of the above- just a caution. A username does not necessarily guarantee anonymity. If someone knows you well they can work out who you are without the benefit of a name- it has happened to me, which is why I am careful what I post. Sometimes people connect offline if the information shared will identify them in a public forum.

In terms of approaching other members on the forum for advice about specific issues in their life, I would refer them directly to a qualified counsellor and in no way attempt to address any underlying problems that may be evident. Our forum provides a range of counselling resources but it is not in f2b’s charter to offer these services. As Anthony has mentioned, doing so may in fact be detrimental to the persons involved.