Hi everyone,

I’ve been a member of this group for a while but I haven’t posted anything. So here’s a bit on an introduction and a question for

you.

I first knew I was gay when I was about 10, I was in 4th class and

one of the kids asked the teacher what queer meant (I think he got

into trouble for calling someone queer). It was the mid seventies,

everyone was cool and progressive so the teacher said it was when

two men or two women lived togeter like they were married. I knew

that was what I wanted to be. But I also knew it was something I

shouldn’t tell anyone about. I had a non religious upbringing my

parents didn’t like the church one bit, though I was some how a very

spiritual kid and had several encounters with God. My father worked

in the fashion industry so I met a few gay men while I was growing

up and was quite happy with myself as a child and into my early

teens.

At 17 I was invited to church and became a Christian, about two

months later I finally had the courage to tell God I was gay (I

wasn’t from a church back ground I didn’t know God already knew

these things (LOL)) and to my surprise I had a really deep

experiance of God’s love and although I was a Baptist I got baptised

in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tounges and didn’t know what I was

doing (it was the ’80s and stuff like that was happening all over

the place. LOL). After that I told God I’d make myself straight for

Him, for some reason I didn’t realise that God had fully and

unconditionally accepted me just as I was.

Well I was kicked out the Baptist Church for speaking in tounges, I

was forbidden (by my parents) to go to the AOG (I used to sneak off

to it when I got the chance I even saw a young flamboyant preacher

with a big shoulder padded white suit ‘Tony ven Brown, I think his

name was LOL) so I went to a Charismatic Uniting Church, then to

Holliness/ Charismatic group I travelled to Perth to join a

Holliness group I went to every conference, guest speaker,

international super preacher, I had hands laid on me, I spoke in

tounges, I prophersided, I was slain in the Spirit, I had demons

cast out, I went to counselling, but still I was gay as. I tried to

be celibate too, but that didn’t work either.

It seemeed that nothing I tried would make me straight, but all

through that time I knew that God loved me so much and so deeply and

that nothing could sperate me from His love. I ended up training to

be a Salvation Army Officer and ended up having some kind of

breakdown and depression (that was in 2000). I left the Church went

to a great psychiatrist, I’ve been with a wonderful partner for 5

years now and life is great.

I still read my bible and love it, I love praying and singing, I

still have a full, deep and loving relationship with God. It wasn’t

God who wanted me to change He’d fearfully and wonderfully made me

in His image and a gay man. I mistakenly thought that I needed to be

straight for Jesus and unfortunately most the Church still believes

that same mistake.

So here’s my question; what now? I tried MCC and some Uniting

Churches they are too liberal or too catholic (?) for me and the

Churches I’d like to attend, well, I’d have to go as an undercover

straightman and my James Bond Christian days are over. Has anybody

got any ideas of where I could go for fellowship?

Thanks heaps

Trent.

Hey Trent,

Hmm that is a tough one huh? I don’t think any church is going to meet our expectations of what a church ‘should be’. Church serves a useful purpose in creating a Christian network of people to love and support one another but because it is made up of imprefect people it will never be perfect. My advice would be to pick a church where you won’t get kicked out for embracing homosexuality and if the theology is a bit too catholic then work for change in that church. It’s tough I know, I am in perhaps one od the ‘worst’ churches for people who are homosexual, I do not embarce my orientation and yet they still consider kicking me out all the time. The congregation even had a petition going… how humiliating! But the church needs trend setters, challengers to keep it evolving and transforming lives.

It is so, so tough to be a Christian by yourself and a network of Christian friends (even if you don’t have the same beliefs on sexuality) are ijvaluable because you are likely to agree on other issues like God’s love, justification and so on and will recieve encouragement in those areas.

Thanks for posting your story it’s so amazing to hear how God has chosen you, revealed himself to you and continued to show you his Love throughout the tough times. I am currently trying to imagine Anthony in a shoulder padded white suit, LOL, its impossible I’m laughing so much, a shame that you don’t have a photo really.

welcome to F2B Trent

maybe one of the answers to your question lies in this post

http://www.freedom2b.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3216

Hey Trent

There is at least one other pente ex-salvo officer here 😀 (and I know of 4 others who aren’t on this forum)

Which session were you? (I was a Messenger of Hope) – oh and I saw Anthony preach too.

We are all on the journey – and we end up checking out lots of things on the way. For me, the style and externals matter in that they are like the furnishings in a home- some fit your taste and some don’t. I didn’t grow up either Army or Pente, but there are things I like about both that feel comfortable. (and things I don’t like- like brass bands 🙂 ) I also like the more mystical traditions and find them helpful- so I’m one mixed up girl perhaps.

What matters is that you connect through it and the style of service does not get in the way, I reckon.

Heya Trent

On the church front, you should come & check out our church, it is an MCC, but with t twist :p

CRAVE is charismatic & inclusive (but not gay). We have a really mixed bunch of people. We have homegroups around syndey & wollongong (even Christchurch). We are in Paddington @ the uniting church on oxford st.

Also, MCC Sydney has a CRAVE service a couple of times a month in Petersham.

If you are into church, it can be a bit of a journey finding one that fits you, good luck Trent!!!

Penny 🙂