a life of a transsexual

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Joined in 2007
December 30, 2007, 21:09

My name is leece johnson

I now live in Adelaide south australia.

I was born and spent all my life in western Australia.

I was a transsexual and now suppose to be legally female.

Most things I have done in my life have not turned out right.

Except when I had sex reassignment surgery

The operation was the best thing I ever did.

What I have now between my legs looks and works the same as a women born with her body parts on the out side.

Of course we can not get pregnant. I don’t think I could handle the pain of having a baby.

We know most times from as far back as we can remember that we are in the wrong body and we don’t know why . in my case been brought up as a boy (yuck hehehe) and been told and having to learn to do boys stuff.

All I wanted was to do girls stuff but you learn to hide those girl feelings as much as possible .

Fighting back the female feelings puts extreme pressure on your mind the older you get the stronger the pressure .

suicidal thoughts can become very strong.

We try to live to societies expectations and get married have children as we know the world back in the 60s and 70s would not except us.

if society excepted us when we were young and we knew that we would not have got married or had children and there would have been no wife threatening to tell the world that we are a freak we must be possessed by the devil and that we will never see our kids again.

friends family disown us and most times we loose our job.

The world is totally against us yet we have no choice we must move on and head towards living and having sex reassignment surgery so we can be our true selves.

The one we should have been born as or we suicide and in the world 50% will.

in the state I live in in Australia the suicide rate is 80% . we have wasted many yrs of our lives hiding 20 to 50 yrs.

a lot of transsexuals can never afford surgery so have to live with that yucky thing between there legs.

For us that are able to have surgery, we think that after surgery we will find love and happiness and work and every thing else we ever wanted.

That’s totally wrong .

You will be lucky to find work unless you pass very well or you are a persistent bitch like me.

I am still working in a male type job driving trucks or what we call road trains (3 trailers)

I am the 1st road train or truck driver to stay in trucks after surgery in Australia so yes I had to fight very hard to get work and to be excepted. I now work for the highest paying company in Australia.

Happiness well yes I have a lot of lesbian friends and straight friends male and female.

There is one thing I am missing and it’s the one thing that is the hardest to except and 95% of us will never experience it .

That is love .

Ok most of us want to be with guys .(yuck)

There are some like this black duck that are lesbians but because we still have a lot of male body shape you have no chance.some lesbians want you as a friend but there’s no way they would ever want you as a partner.

That’s the bit that really hurts.

I understand why lesbians don’t but it is still extremely hard for me to except .

Every body needs love.

We are very miss understood by people who think we are going through some sort of wild fantasy . why would we go through so many tears pain from surgery and humiliation from every one loose family and friends and spend a min of $40,000 total if it was some sort of fantasy.

We had this cruel joke played on us when we were born and we spend our whole life fighting it.

A lot of us transsexuals will go though life holding a grudge against the world .

To me that’s not going to get us any wear.

above is a little bit of light bed time reading. Hehehe.

You will see how much there is for us to do before surgery .

After surgery if there was a web site it would be 10 times as big.

Churches well I went to church as a teenager but I knew they would not except me.

For yrs I went to a spiritual church some were excepting most were not.

I have a lesbian friend that was a church minister . churches can be cruel places some times.

Well I better finish it off now before I write a book .

I hope you all have a happy and wonderful life and find that love you need to make life complete .


Leece johnson

Joined in 2007
December 30, 2007, 21:56

Welcome to the forums, Leece and thanks for sharing your story with us. I think it must be so difficult to grow up feeling so at odds with your outer appearance and your inner identity.

The rates of suicide in the transsexual community are truly shocking.

I hope that you will enjoy interacting with us here at F2B


Joined in 2007
December 30, 2007, 22:31

Hi and thanks


suicidal rate in WA is way to high.

its the only state in australia that has notlaws for transsexuals that have not had surgey.

so you name it it happens to them.

few examples sacked from job for been trans . throwen out of rental propeteys .

there is no help from the equal opp comission.

Joined in 2006
December 30, 2007, 23:09

Hi leece, so glad you shared your story, God only knows that it needs to be heard and many more. You are a remarkable woman and its an honour knowing you my friend, so glad I met you at the Burswood D . We would love to hear more if you feel comfortable sharing.

I heard from a trans taxi driver one day about the gland that determines male/female thinking??????? that for a man wanting to be a woman and vice versa the gland is actually the size of the opposite sex, meaning the gland in the man is the size of a womans and so the need to be the opposite sex is something you are scientifically proven you are born with, can you help me out on this one oops

Joined in 2007
December 30, 2007, 23:41

Hi Mags

nice to catch up on the phone today and fine out about this very good site.

i suppose we better tell the rest that mags is one of only 2 lesbian girls that knew me before and after surgery.

mags is a wonderful person after what she has been through she is still such a positive happy women and enjoys life.

she is a insperation.

i am so glade i met her at the casino that night.

i am more than happy at any time to share what ever any one may ask.

i dont belive in hiding any thing.

i know the taxi driver you are talking about but i dont know any thing about a gland.

all i know is women have a smaller brain than guys and we are suppose to have the smaller brain to.

smaller brain means its more compact so it works better hehehehe.

sorry guys.

i do fly in fly out work from adelaide to the mid north of WA so when i am flying or at work you will here a lot lesss from me.

there is wireless internet in cue so i will apear from time to time.

i fly out tomorrow arvo from adelaide.

sorry about my spelling i know its bad.

well every one have a lovely week.

leece johnson

Joined in 2006
December 30, 2007, 23:50

yay I loveeeeeee we have more compact brains lol Thanks leece. wink All the best over West and Happy New Year.

Joined in 2006
January 13, 2008, 19:24

Hi Leece, how do you find the acceptance of transgendered ladies within the gay/lesbian community? is there problems with acceptance? ( i dont just mean this on a r/ship basis). How is the acceptance level within the population as a whole? what dilemas are faced by the ladies that you have come across on a church basis that you know of? ( i know many questions but i think good ones to ask if thats ok wink )

Joined in 2007
January 14, 2008, 00:28

Hi Maggs

sorry i have not been on lattely i just got home tonight after my 2 weeks at work.

well i admit to having nevr been to a church that is for GLBTI as i dont know of any churches for us all.

but in the gay and lesbian comunitee we are not excepted that well.

tey tolirate us at there pubs or neetings but they think we are strange like the rest of the comunitee. they dont like people judging them but they are happy to judge us. as far as the workd is consered we belong in the gutter.

now thats not all gay lesbians and hetro people but most do.

its s shame.

any body can ask any thing they like.

thats fine by me and i am happy to reply to them.


Joined in 2006
January 14, 2008, 09:38

Thats a very sad state of circumstances if even in the gay community you are treated that way by some people. I have heard of some ladies who went to church as men and then had the change and were either kicked out or were asked to never have a r/ship with anyone, they had to be celibate. Also of some that became christian after they had had the change and were expected to do the same. It almost seems that way for those who are transexual.

they seem to face what the gays/lesbians faced maybe going back 10yrs or more in regards to lack of acceptance but sadly within the community that one wouldve expected that would accept them. Again it comes down to as Anthony has stated before about christians that are extreme in judgement against homosexuals, “do they really personally know any?” shock

I hope that F2B can give you a voice and others who wish to speak out and open up who have either been hurt by church or other means. The one thing I remember Sy Rogers touching on that I never forgot was that “silence kills”, its so important to talk or have a place that you can be heard, we have to quash the idea that we can have at times that “I am alone and there’s no one who understands or cares”. Their always is and more are coming to the open so others can find out too.

Joined in 2007
January 14, 2008, 18:58

Hi Magsdee

yes i know a TS women who was told not to come back to the church when she came out.

what i want to know is what have we done to hurt people . have we gorn around bashing or abusing people or are we only interested in kids.

No we are not why is it then that most of the population then don’t want to know or trust us.

i have had some so called straight friends that would not let you near there house because they thought we would either infect the kids with what we are or we may want to take advantage of there kids or more often they did not want there kids to know they had a freak as a friend.

i have had a lot of people tell me we are freaks and they could not trust or understand us.

if we had the choice would we want to be who we are no. we have no choice we like gay and lesbians have had a cruel life put on us but we must live our lives the best we can and I for 1 will not go into hiding why should I .

we all deserve the right to a happy life.

Becoming celebrant is not possible for most of us.

We all need love in our lives that some one to love to care for and spend the rest of our lives with. I wonder what that feels like.

That is the most important thing to me .

It has not happen yet and may never happen but I will keep on trying .

When I was young I was brought up by the church of England that you should love every body but as we know now churches do discriminate against all of us.

Out side some churches there is a sign that says . (all welcome)

What have we done wrong to churches .

Some Christians say we are possessed buy the devil and we are evil.

I believe There are some states in the US wear some churches will hang you because of the devil factor. There are lots of country’s that would do the same thing to.

There’s A church has some priest that have been caught doing things to kids yet they tried to hide that .

Have we ever done that to kids no .

Yes we do face what the gay and lesbians faced years ago and still will in 10 yrs time as there are very few of us out there and not enough to make a difference to our rights.

The pollys don’t want to know you as we carry very little votes and they want Christians on there side.

I have done public speaking and may be I should ad this stuff into it.

But they just want to know mostly about our lives up to surgery.

Yes sites like this can help to open up more peoples minds to the fact that we are all human.


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