a life of a transsexual

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Joined in 2006
January 14, 2008, 23:00

I dont often get stuck for words but I am stuck for words. shock You and any of the other women have done nothing wrong, at all. Its not a matter fact that you have done something wrong, its that people have a preconceived idea due to a lack of education or actually knowing someone who has had a gender change.

You have the same thing as us who are gay/lesbian born as our gender, we know who we are and we knew from quite a young age. We didnt ask to have this, we just have it. I guess given the climate of how we have very little but evolving to better acceptance, I would be happy if I was born straight to make life easier but because of who I am and what I now know, I wouldnt change a thing D , even in the face of hardships and limited acceptance, I love the woman I am with and wouldnt trade places with anyone in the world. This is my orientation, its just the way it is.

I know that in certain aspects it is different for me than for you, at least I got the gender I love to be. I think that when a person can wrap their head and emotions around to being happy in themselves ( and that can take counselling, education, clarifying themselves on actually being acceptable),happy with who they are, changes to gender and all, then outside stuff wont effect one so much but I also know that this is easier said than done, especially if you are getting flack from so many avenues.

Homosexuals were called freaks once and still are but it doesnt hurt so much anymore. Could it be that because we are more open and just around whether people or like it or not, that we have more freedom than 20yrs or even 10yrs ago? I wonder if the same thing has to happen for you and the other girls, that people will have to see what normal lives you lead, r/ships etc…pay taxes, eat cereal, watch oprah lol you know what I mean wink and then there will be more acceptance because a fear of something “different” (to them) will not be so fearful anymore?

What would you suggest one does to overcome the obstacles of such branding and not taking it on to the point of not wanting to carry on? It sounds to me you have a mission with all this, if you are meant to be a voice for the ladies then go for it.

Just let them know too, for the ones you feel need it, that God loves them and he is not the church, he is way above anyone here on earth and loads better. Theres great resources here too for all that regarding scripture etc.. too.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
January 14, 2008, 23:41

Hey Leece……great to have you with us. I think you maybe our first transexual to post on our forum…….i’ve be waiting….and hoping someone would.

I’ve had two transsexual clients one MTF and the other FTM. It was a good learning experience for me…..but of course there is always much more to learn. At least I now understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender issues.

BTW……how did you find us.

that suicide rate is horrific. I had no idea that it was that high. I can understand why though…but it is not acceptable. Its true what you say that often you would expect the G&L community to be welcoming of Transexuals….but alas this is not always the case.

I trust you feel welcome here.

A question for you. From what I’ve found out about 50% of MTF are attracted to the opposite sex and the other 50% to the same. Indicating that sexual orientation wiring is possible separate from gender identity. Is this what you have found as well.

Joined in 2007
January 15, 2008, 08:55

I dont often get stuck for words but I am stuck for words. You and any of the other women have done nothing wrong, at all. Its not a matter fact that you have done something wrong, its that people have a preconceived idea due to a lack of education or actually knowing someone who has had a gender change.

Maggs that is very well put and true.

We know we have done nothing wrong and compared to gay and lesbians there is very few of us and a lot of people will never meet a transsexual.

Yes it is the lack of education .

I have been doing a bit and been in magazines and news papers trying to help educate some people.

I agree with you to I would not now days change who I am .life would be a lot easier if I did but I do like who I am and have fort to hard to just try and go back and be miserable again .

My family say that I am now a far better person .

there are some of us that are out in the open and try to live normal lives but we can not hide who we are . there are so many that after surgery just disappear and go into hiding .its such a shame .

Every job I start at every body is talking about you but after a few weeks they seam to realize you may not be so bad after all and they often start talking to you a bit.

What would you suggest one does to overcome the obstacles of such branding and not taking it on to the point of not wanting to carry on?

Maggs that is a very good question you have me stumped I will have to think on it.

It sounds to me you have a mission with all this, if you are meant to be a voice for the ladies then go for it.

Maggs yes I suppose I have had a mission but I have slowed down on that and have been trying to set my life up and that includes a partener.

I admit to not having much to do with many transsexuals now days . the ones I did know most have gorn into hiding . if any ever ring for help I will still be more than happy to help them.


Joined in 2007
January 15, 2008, 09:29

Hi Anthony

I found you through maggs.

I have known here for a few yrs.

When I 1st met her what struck me was how positive she was about life and living and not dwelling over her condition but making the most of what she has.

She was and still is making the best of her life.

so many people jsut give up on life and just exist.

I would love to see her giving talks about her life as she would be a inspiration to all.

Sorry maggs I had to say that.

The suicide rate is vey high 50% in Australia and over seas.

But in WA its suppose to be so much higher 80% according to a university and some doctors.

Anthony I have found that there seams to be more transsexuals attracted to men than women but yes you are right it seams sexual orientation wiring is different to gender identity I have not thought of it in that way before.

My feeling is there is around 60% attracted to men and 40% attracted to women.


Joined in 2008
January 15, 2008, 10:00

Hi, I have enjoyed reading your story and it has been enlightening on your experience in trying to fit into a new role in life. I am currently doing a research paper on community services available and health issues faced by the transgender community and i was wondering if you could help me out on this subject. Also it would be good if you could tell about some of the community services you have accessed (related to transgender issues) such as where you had to go to get information on the operation, getting hormone therapy and having a physical exam. Any information you could give me on this topic would be greatly appreciated and very helpful. Thanks very much.

Joined in 2006
January 15, 2008, 10:18

Thanks Leece oops We are all inspirations on here to each other, so many brave people.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
January 15, 2008, 10:44

thanks for that info leece…….I wonder if you know a friend of mine by the first name of Sally (MTF)……also been quite involved in creating awareness etc.

I think you might be able to help us out with correct terminology.

are the words transgender and transsexual the same or different?

if they are the same that what is the most politically correct term or preferred term.

Can you also educate us about the term ‘stealth’ what it means and its origin?

I think your responces would not only be educational for me but also for the forum.

There is a transgender person (MTF) who attends MCC here in Sydney who used to attend an Assemblies of God…..she has quite a story to tell as well. I’ve encouraged her to become a part of the forum and tell her stroy but as yet it hasn’t happened. maybe you being here will encourage her. After all F2B is for all GLBTIQ people.

yes our little maggie is an inspirtation isn’t she…….dont know what we would do with her here on the forum.

You may like to use a quote of mine some time.

Our battle is not with governments, political parties or churches………the enemy we fight is ignorance.

Joined in 2007
January 15, 2008, 16:17


yes would love to help wear i can.

right now i will give you a few web sites to look at .

the one below is from the US but it is very very good.

the one below is wear i went for surgery.

the link below is australian and from NSW it is a very good site all so.

i will write more tonight.


Joined in 2007
January 15, 2008, 17:43

Hi Anthony

1st of all I just read parts of the 1st part of your book boy its amazing how much we have in common. Looking forward to reading the whole book.

Sorry I don’t know the sally you are talking about. I do know a few transsexuals around Australia that are out there telling there story to help educate others.

But I would love to get to know her.


Yes this is a good one.

For many yrs there were



They are the same transvestites was the 1st word used but some one came up with the word crossdressers . which means people that like to dress as the other sex from time to time but do not want to live full time or have surgery.

They mind or brain seams to have a lot of the other sex in it and by crossdressing that help calm the mind down for a time.

Some are transsexuals that don’t realize they are until latter in life.

I know many and they are lovely people .

They come from all walks of life.

Drag Queens and kings

They seam to be mostly gay or lesbian that love to dress as the other sex too but they dress totally over the top for day time life and dress mostly and go to gay clubs .


Well transsexuals are mostly born and know from day one they are in the wrong body.

Some like myself it took years to work out why we felt different and did not realize we were transsexuals.

I knew nothing about transsexuals until my early 20s.

I knew I would love to be female full time but I thought I was the only one in the world so I could not come out.

Latter every thing fell into place and all that confusion went away.

Some body in he US decided that we should all be under one umbrella so they came up with the word transgender and it stuck.

Most of us transsexuals don’t like the word as we feel we are different .

We are the only ones that live full time want to have surgery if we can afford it and most know they are the wrong body from birth.

I prefer to be known as transsexual women but I wont get up set like some if we are called transgender .

Some women say you want to be female but you don’t act totally female.

Well after 30 or more years trying to train your brain to act male its very hard to just re train your brain.

But I say I am who I am

I am proud of who I am .

Your quote is very good

Our battle is not with governments, political parties or churches………the enemy we fight is ignorance.

Very true.

Another one is hetro sexuality is not normal its just common

In other words we are all normal


Boy that’s hard to explain so I have cheated and taken it out of a web site.

I belive stealth can be very dangerous .

Me I never thought of going stealth I am totally open about who I am and proud to tell people what I am. Why hide . I belive 70 orn80 % try to go stealth could be higher.


After transsexual men and women are living full-time as members of their target gender, they may wish to blend in with other members of their new sex, and will avoid revealing their past. They do this believing that it will provide greater peace and security on the other side of a stressful and potentially dangerous transition, and/or because they wish to be seen only as members of their target sex, not as transsexuals.

This behaviour, known as stealth, is recognized by most people in the transsexual community as an individual decision that one must make. Some, however, within and outside the transsexual community, feel that one should be upfront about his or her past, and that stealth living would be dishonest. Some draw a parallel with a perceived need for lesbian and gay people to “come out”, and may perceive a failure to do so as betrayal of a greater community, seeing hope for advancement of civil rights and public image in the visibility of greater numbers. However, most people within the community understand that revealing one’s transsexual history is a deeply personal choice. Moreover, this is part of an individual’s medical history, and as such should be his or hers alone to disclose. Several examples also exist of people who have been denied medical treatment upon discovery of their trans status, whether it was revealed by the patient or inadvertently discovered by the doctors. For example, Leslie Feinberg was once turned away from a hospital emergency room where he had sought treatment for encephalitis.[31](Feinberg 2) Like Tipton, Feinberg was presenting as a man but had female genital anatomy. He nearly died after being denied treatment. Feinberg’s case demonstrates one of the many dangers of actually being discovered. Additionally, Tyra Hunter died after being denied care by paramedics and emergency room physicians after she was injured in an automobile accident.

The equating of “coming out” (whereby a transsexual person who has hidden their true gender identity while maintaining their originally assigned gender role, reveals their true self) with honesty or social activism has been countered by the explanation that, because of prejudice, sensationalism, and the triggering of unconscious personal feelings and emotions, knowledge of someone’s transsexual past can prevent the average person from being able to see the transitioned person’s true self.

You are all asking some very good questions and its great to see.

Its also helping me to re open my mind.

Love leece

Joined in 2006
January 15, 2008, 18:59

Thankyou Leece, this has been an education and a half and im sure we are only tipping the iceberg. Im sorry, I had no Idea that Transexual was the prefered term, I thought it was the other way around oops OOPS!!!

( I made some changes to my posts accordingly )

Thats amazing that someone would be refused treatment upon discovery that they had female genitals when presenting as a man…..whats wrong with people????? x

I know the other women, that is on the site from the MCC church and she is gorgeous, a lovely person and must get in touch with her.(sorry luv, had a very big year last year and lost messenger).

If only I had the genes she has for youthfullness OMG wink she certainly has what every woman wants. (sorry A if you are reading this but had to say it, please tell us what you do to look sooooooooo young LOL) 8) (she’s another one thats gonna kill me shock wink )

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