I came across this prayer the other day on an ex-gay site.

http://pfox-exgays.blogspot.com/2010/06/strugglers-prayer.html

It really saddened me. I could read the pain and lack of self worth in the lines. I wanted to email him and encourage him to accept and love his true self instead of trying to fit into a mould church, family and society have created for him……but alas no email address. How sad……such is the state of those who view their same sex orientation as evil and dysfunctional. I will be speaking about this on the 6th August. http://www.freedom2b.org/event/1031

Fancy thinking that being a man meant you have to be masculine. There is a lot more to being a man than being butch.

A Struggler’s Prayer

by Paul

(June 2010)

God, please show me how to accept my past and be hopeful about my future.

Show me how to be more accepting of the gift of masculinity that you have given me, and give me the courage to always use my masculinity with the God-given purpose that you designed it for.

Show me how to welcome the power of masculinity.

I release my father and mother from responsibility for who I am today and I truly accept full responsibility for my life as a man.

Show me how to love and respect my father and mother.

Assist me to only respect and admire other men for their strengths, qualities and for who they are as men, for as I do this, I will be shown how I am even more like them, and have even more in common with them.

Show me how to see myself as you do, equal to other men.

Show me how I can assist other men to be true to their God-given masculinity.

I pray that you will deliver to me opportunities to demonstrate my masculinity, according to your true purpose for me, and also to help other men do the same.

Give me the courage to form lasting meaningful friendships with other men that allow my masculinity to develop further.

Assist me to be respectful of my body and mind, and to ensure that I can deliver for you through my masculinity, the purpose that you have designed for me.

I release my thoughts, feelings, desires and actions as a man into your hands, only then will I be able to use fully the nature of my masculinity that you have given me.

Allow me to see, completely and truthfully, the full masculine gifts that you have given me, and help me to see myself through your loving eyes.

I know to trust you,

I accept my God-given masculinity in your name, and with your guidance, and my faith in you, I will become the man that you have destined me to be.

Saludos,

Hmmm….

Show me how to see myself as you do, equal to other men.

What part of “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” (Gen 1:31) doesn’t he get?

What part of “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14) is unclear?

You are equal, you are a wondrous creation of God.

Yours in Christ,

Raul

this was posted on the truth wins out facebook wall……after several comments and one from Michael Bussee (one of the original founders of Exodus) said……Thanks. for posting. It is sad..

Anthony Venn-Brown said: sad and very tragic……we know …..we have been there…..self hating…..self loathing….feeling like we could never really make the grade…believing were broken and need fixing….sick and needed healing. thank god for the wonderful sense of wholeness that comes from accepting and embracing our real selves and purging ourselves of every negative connotation we previously attached to the word gay.

This poor man has been deeply deceived. 🙁 I feel for him, he is truly a victim of a homophobic, religious system.

Masculinity and femininity exists separately from biological sex which again exists separately from sexual orientation. Some of the most masculine guys in the world are gay; some of the most feminine are straight. These things are all separate – being masculine won’t make you straight! And besides that, there is no real Biblical mandate to be “masculine” – whatever that means anyway, since the term is such a relative one. Let’s just pray that this man is able to escape this system just like many other ex-ex-gays have.

I think this has such potential though to be a powerful prayer … in fact I could adopt it for myself once the word “masculinity” is replaced with “real identity” all though it. 🙂