I’ve observed that is quite a common thing. Men who are gay or questioning can often form a romantic attachment to an older woman. Not sure the exact reasons for it though…..just observed it happens regularly.

Possibly something about safety.

Thoughts? I would ask my sister who is a psychologist but she would realise immediately that I did in fact have that crush on her friend that I have expressly denied having for 9 years…

😆 😆 😆 Gotta love sisters

is it something to do with an Iodipus complex?…..he asks the psychologists amongst us.

For those like myself who aren’t psychologists here is a general definition of the Oedipus complex that might be useful when theorising on this topic.

The Oedipus complex, in psychoanalytic theory, is a group of largely unconscious (dynamically repressed) ideas and feelings which centre around the desire to possess the parent of the opposite sex and eliminate the parent of the same sex. According to classical theory, the complex appears during the so-called ‘oedipal phase’ of libidinal and ego development; i.e. between the ages of three and five, though oedipal manifestations may be detected earlier.

The complex is named after the Greek mythical character Oedipus, who (albeit unknowingly) kills his father and marries his mother. According to Freud, the Oedipus complex is a universal phenomenon, built in phylogenetically, and is responsible for much unconscious guilt. Speaking of the mythical Oedipus, Freud put it in these terms:

“His destiny moves us only because it might have been ours –- because the oracle laid the same curse upon us before our birth as upon him. It is the fate of all of us, perhaps, to direct our first sexual impulse towards our mother and our first hatred and our first murderous wish against our father. Our dreams convince us that this is so.”

Classical theory considers the successful resolution of the Oedipus complex to be developmentally desirable, the key to the development of gender roles and identity. Freud posited that boys and girls resolved the conflicts differently as a result of the male’s castration anxiety (caused by oedipal rivalry with the father) and the female’s penis envy. He also held that the unsuccessful resolution of the Oedipus complex could result in neurosis, paedophilia, and homosexuality.

Classical theory holds that ‘resolution’ of the Oedipus complex takes place through identification with the parent of the same sex and (partial) temporary renunciation of the parent of the opposite sex; the opposite-sex parent is then ‘re-discovered’ as the growing individual’s adult sexual object.

In classical theory, individuals who are fixated at the oedipal level are ‘mother-fixated’ or ‘father-fixated’, and reveal this by choosing sexual partners who are discernible surrogates for their parent(s).

just some more psychobabel to give some academics justification for their existance…. 😆 😆 😆

Classical theory considers the successful resolution of the Oedipus complex to be developmentally desirable, the key to the development of gender roles and identity. Freud posited that boys and girls resolved the conflicts differently as a result of the male’s castration anxiety (caused by oedipal rivalry with the father) and the female’s penis envy. He also held that the unsuccessful resolution of the Oedipus complex could result in neurosis, paedophilia, and homosexuality.

Wouldn’t this therefore contribute to the “competitive” nature that seems to be apparent in gay circles?

please explain…..I dont get it 😳 😥