Hi rediscoveringme

Sounds like a good book. Self perceptions are indeed a difficult part of dealing with sexuality, especially when coming from a non accepting church background. How we view ourselves takes years to form, starting in early childhood with how others perceive us and the internalisation of those experiences. My time spent in fundamental churches compared to other denominations has shown me that pentecostal church views (i.e. what makes up the vision, doctrines and practices of the particular congregation and movement) are especially emphasised. This means that for those pentecostal members who are heavily involved in church, their self perceptions are more likely to be influenced by church ideas rather than their own independent thought. They are then perhaps more susceptible to what others say about them, including the negative beliefs about being LGBT. Of course that won’t be everyone’s experience in those kinds of churches but it was mine.

On the positive side, things are improving in society and churches however there are still not the prevalence of LGBT role models shown in the media as there are straight ones. And so this means that it is harder to shape our perceptions, especially if we are isolated or don’t know many LGBT people we can relate to.

Trust takes time to develop and it’s lovely to gradually find that there are those who can be trusted. Being in this state of openness is so much better than being closed off and isolated. I wish you well with this discovery.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi SeekingShalom

Lovely to hear from you again! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Congrats re coming out to the parents recently. Would they benefit from looking at resources to help them understand your perspective more? I’m thinking of the dvd ‘For the bible tells me so’ especially if they are Christians.

I’m glad you’re finding Bulletproof Faith helpful. A couple of others recommended that recently on the site.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi Seeking Shalom,

Thanks for the book recommendation…. have not seen that one before.

I have discovered a necessary part of this journey is the need for continual reflection via reading, discussion, DVD’s etc to try to form a confident self perception in the face of those around us who all also struggle with the idea of GLBT children, siblings or spouses. Imagine what my wife went through (it was not good).

I certainly did not come bouncing out of the closet saying ‘I am gay’….the End, everyone smile, all better

I learnt that cognitively people can be very supportive, perhaps as reflected by your parents. My family did the same thing and congratulated me on my honesty. HOWEVER, those around you, especially family, then go through their own emotional struggle. So, you end up getting conflicting messages from those around you.

Recently I ordered in about 3 copies of “For the bible tells me so” as I felt that a few friends and family needed to hear it’s message. Plus WE need to hear this message over and over as well.

Shalom.