Forums

searching

Page:   1 2
 
 

jman
 
Joined in 2013
April 16, 2013, 20:18

Hi, I've just found your site… not really sure how this works.

I found it after reading an article online at the weekend.

I was wondering if there are any meetings in Bris in the near future.

I'm really keen to talk in person with someone about things!


Not really sure where to navigate from here. I'm 25, not out and in no-way wanting to drift away from Jesus.

My visits to church are getting less and less as I find I can't connect with people. I long to be a family guy but have no one to share that life with.

My last relationship (and pretty much only) with a girl was when I was a teenager. I'm very much attracted to guys and right now struggling to deal with that and my faith.


I've met some really nice guys who are gay but none who I can totally explain my situation with. Telling them I'm Christian is almost as hard as telling a Christian I'm gay. What a confusing world. I'm also looking for a church after recently moving back to Brisbane. Sometimes I feel like I'm going out of my mind on this roller-coaster of faith, disappointment in myself and yearning to be connected to God.


I see everyone around me finding someone special and I don't know where to go from here.

I grew up in a Christian home – quite legalistic you could argue but in the midst of that, I met Jesus. My faith has deepened over the years. When I was a young teenager, I always had this ideal life pictured in my mind – growing up and finding a woman to love and spend my life with and raise a family – a life free of worries etc (how naive). But my SSA feelings kept growing stronger and stronger – when I thought God might be taking it away from me. I still remember the first time I had feelings for a guy. I was only about 14 and I felt a strong attraction to my friend in high school. I remember kind of freaking out but feeling the sense of attraction was wonderful. Now, I don't doubt God's love for me but I'm left with this question – Am I meant to carry such a heavy cross throughout my life? Is this to be the thorn in my side which I ask the Lord to take away from me and yet must live with?


I gave up on the idea of ever changing .. maybe when I was around 19. (But I still pray for it) I settled in my mind that I would try to live a holy single life – but wow it's lonely. God's blessed me with my dream job, great friends etc but I'm hiding this awful, heavy secret. I've told four friends – three of which took it quite straight and still talk with me. One didn't take it well at all. It took him a year to speak to me again, even though we were best mates at the time.

Would be keen to hear any advice whatsoever and if there are a few people I could speak to in person.


J

HillsBen
Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
April 16, 2013, 21:36

Hi jman,


Welcome to freedom2b and thanks for sharing some of your story.


There are definitely meetings in Brisbane. They are on the second Friday of each month and you can contact Adam or Jason (Brisbane leaders) by emailing [email protected]. Let them know that you are on the forum.


I'm of a similar age (I'm 24) and I'm a gay Christian in a long-term relationship (almost 3 years) with another gay Christian the same age. Before I came out I found it very difficult to reconcile my faith in Jesus and the fact that I was gay. Freedom2b really helped me navigate the journey and through much prayer, much research and investigation into the bible I discovered that you CAN be gay and Christian and that God does love gay and lesbian people too. You can watch my story on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdxvU59bQsU


There's a few great resources and stories on this website and much more online.


You said:


Telling them I'm Christian is almost as hard as telling a Christian I'm gay.


I can understand this. It's not easy being gay and being Christian. Often we feel like we are caught in-between and no community really understands us. This is why it's important to connect with groups like freedom2b where there are others in the same boat.


I'm sorry to hear about one of your good mates rejection of you when you came out to him. 🙁


In regards to relationships, although I am very happy with my relationship with my partner Sam, I have had a few other serious relationships with non-Christians and I remember that it would often be difficult to try to communicate my experiences and have them understood and valued. However, there are many great non-Christians who will love and value you and your faith. The most important things in a relationship is love, trust and mutual respect. You also need to learn to be content with being single before you can really step into a relationship. Being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all. You never know…just when you don't expect it Mr Perfect could come around the corner. 🙂


Am I meant to carry such a heavy cross throughout my life? Is this to be the thorn in my side which I ask the Lord to take away from me and yet must live with?


Most Christians have a cross to carry but I don't believe that being gay is one of those crosses. Being gay isn't meant to be burden or is something that needs to be taken away or changed. God created you for a reason and he knew you in your mother's womb before you were born (Psalm 139:13-16). You are fearfully and wonderfully made – all of you, even your sexual orientation. God loves you and by accepting this you will be able to move into a greater relationship with Him.


I'm happy to speak to you in person if you like? You can PM me here or email [email protected].


Cheers,

Ben

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 16, 2013, 21:47

yes….welcome J.

you will find lots of support and encouragement here…..and many people who have been on the same journey…..and some that are probably further along.

Good to know you are no longer alone?

Michelle
President
Joined in 2008
April 16, 2013, 21:53

Hi Jman

Welcome to freedom2b 🙂

Thank you for sharing your journey with us, thus far. You have certainly come to the right place! Everyone here has a unique story to tell and I hope you will take a little time to look through some of them and know you are not alone in what you are facing at the moment.

Many of us are from church backgrounds, I myself have a fundamental Pentecostal church background. We are all in different places with our faith. Some identify as gay Christians, others have put their beliefs aside for a time, some have redefined their faith, while others have chosen to know longer believe. Freedom2b does not have an agenda, so what that means is we don't mind if you want to go to church or not, that is your decision and your journey 🙂

You will certainly find Christians here, some gay and some are our amazing straight supporters, including our awesome ministers. I'm sure, in time they will introduce themselves.

We do have a chapter in Bris that meet on the second Friday of every month. Now that you have joined the forum you will also receive our monthly enewsletter which will give you all the details for the upcoming meetings, which you might be interested in.

If you would like to chat privately please feel free to pm me anytime, I'm also happy to speak on the phone if you like.

Again welcome and it's great to have you here

Warm regards

Michelle

davidt
 
Joined in 2009
April 16, 2013, 22:20

I am in Brisbane and attend the Freedom 2b meetings. You would be most welcome to come. Many are around your age.


It is great when we can reconcile our faith and our sexuality. I was a Baptist Minister at one time and would be happy to chat. A straight marriage doesn't change anything even after a long time.


God loves you just as you are and he doesn't make rubbish. It is fine to be gay and you can be gay and Christian.


Looking forward to meeting you sometime. Send me a private message if you would like to have a coffee sometime.


In Him


David

jman
 
Joined in 2013
April 16, 2013, 23:01

Wow – thanks for all the replies so quickly!

I never expected that.


I guess I'm just trying to navigate through this and would love to meet and discuss it with people in Brisbane.

I've been to many churches in my life. I grew up in just the usual kind of protestant church.

However, I've come to appreciate the Word and rely on that before I rely on teachings of a denomination. – This brings me to some conflict.


It also hurt so much when my best mate stopped talking to me. Things are better now. We catch up every now and again but it's never been discussed since.

The other people I told were a married couple at my church who have been great. And there's another mate of mine.

But with these people, I have only said that I struggle with SSA and don't know where to go from there.


I also went to a pastor of mine about two years ago. He didn't really know what to say. He prayed with me and made sure he followed up with phone calls about once a week or fortnight. He was amazing but I stil felt so lost. (still do…)


Thanks for the encouragement guys.


J

JR
 
Joined in 2008
April 16, 2013, 23:17

Hey jman – welcome to the forum 🙂


I often feel the same way, like I'm in no-man's land between Gay and Christian. It's really really tough being in both camps – I can see perfectly that weird scrunched-up face that guys give you when they find out you're a Christian. I dread it! It does feel like a burden and it's also really hard at times to stay positive and looking forward. I can relate totally. But as Ben said God created you for a reason and in my experience this thing that we think of as a burden falls away pretty quickly when you realise you aren't on your own and that others are around that are going through or have been through the same thing. It's good to have some friends that you actually have significant things in common with, fundamental things. F2b is a good place to start 🙂


I also dropped off going to church regularly, for a good 18 months. I hated going knowing that I'd probably hear something I didn't like, and knowing I couldn't really do anything about it. Lately I've remembered what I love about God, the reasons why I love Him, what it was like when I've been closest to him and what I felt – and those things are what has me making an effort to go each week now, rather than thinking about the negatives. God sets us apart for great things, not for carrying burdens. But I'm sure you know that 🙂


I hope you make it along to F2b one Friday night. I'm hoping to go to the next one also. Would be great to add a new friend 🙂


Best,

Jason

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 17, 2013, 07:58

Hi jman

I would like to add my welcome and encourage you to attend the Brisbane chapter group. They are a lovely bunch of people and would make you feel very welcome. 🙂 Feel free to message Jason or Adam about this.

I agree with Ben that you can definitely be both Christian and gay. It can take a while to reconcile those two points because of the negative teachings and conditioning from the church however many here have done this and are living happy, fulfilled moral lives. Thankfully there are increasing numbers of churches that are accepting toward those in the LGBTI community. Have a look at our support page to see our list of gay affirming churches. It is by no means an exhaustive list but it's a start. Members of the Brisbane f2b group may know of other churches.

I look forward to hearing more of your story and am glad you found us. 🙂

Blessings,

Ann Maree



Eric Lee
 
Joined in 2011
April 17, 2013, 08:06

Hi Jman,


Welcome! This is certainly the best place to connect with others. I have heard that the Freedom2b group in Brisbane has been doing wonderful things. I'm sure you will have a good time.


It is definitely a challenging journey when we feel that we are alone. But the truth is we are not alone. I got converted to Christianity about 10 years ago. I went to a very conservative church. I was being told that it was a sin and I must change or be single. When I told my friends that I was gay, some of them frowned at me and my bestfriend, who was also a Christian then, stopped talking to me for almost a year. But, God is good. Things do get better. After a while, my friends beginning to understand and accept the LGBTI community. My bestfriend's brother also came out to her that he is gay. In fact, I'm going to be in her bridal party this Sunday for her wedding – and she told me she has invited at least 5 gay couples! Sometimes we may think our friends who have stopped talking to us may have rejected us, but we do not know that God may have used us to plant the "seed" and He will do the work, so that our friends may grow and understand us and love.


I have a partner now, we started going out last year in September. It has been a wonderful journey. We both now go to the Salvation army church. Many of the leaders and friends in church are very accepting.


Let us know and keep us updated about your journey!

Mother Hen
 
Joined in 2011
April 17, 2013, 10:37

Hi jman,


First welcome to F2B, so awesome you have found this site and have shared some of your story. As you will see from the many replies this is a great place of love, support, encouragement and hope. If you have read some of the stories on this site you will see how courageous and amazing everyone is 🙂


I'm proud to say my son Adam, as already mentioned is one of the chapter leaders in Brisbane. I know him, Jason and the rest of the amazing group would love for you to come to one of the meetings. It is certainly the right place to chat to people about the things you are currently experiencing. My son is about your age, there are also many other's around your age so I'm sure you will fit it. They are very welcoming, friendly and certainly very accepting and supporting.


As mentioned I encourage you to get in touch with Adam or Jason, I'll let them know you are keen to touch base. My husband and I drop in and say hi at the meetings every now and then and support the group in any way we can so hopefully we will see you at a meeting in the near future 🙂


God Bless


Page:   1 2
 
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.183 seconds.