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Shame, Connection, Worthiness and Vulnerability.....how does this video relate to you

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 15, 2011, 11:44

I would have to say that this video is definitely worth the 20 minutes of your time to watch it. More importantly I wonder how much of this relates to our journey as LGBTI people who struggle in this predominately heterosexual, sometimes hostile world to find acceptance and to live authentically.

What do you think?



Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. She spent the first five years of her decade-long study focusing on shame and empathy, and is now using that work to explore a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness. She poses the questions:


How do we learn to embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections so that we can engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to recognize that we are enough – that we are worthy of love, belonging, and joy?

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
January 15, 2011, 11:50

Hi avb


I ended up googling this. It’s titled ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ for those who are interested.


I agree – it was well worth watching. It seems to me that the very heart of the message is that we need to develop our belief that we are worthy of love and belonging. And from there we can connect with others in a wholehearted way, which includes embracing vulnerability and the precious aliveness that comes with that.


Thanks for posting avb. For me the message is particularly timely and personal.


Blessings,


Ann Maree

Mr Summit
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2010
January 15, 2011, 15:44

I’ve fixed the OP by embedding the youtube version rather than the TED version. I’ll watch it when I get a chance.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 15, 2011, 22:24

thanks Mr Summit

iain
 
Joined in 2006
January 16, 2011, 13:56

All of us must listen to the important point that she makes (at 7.23 minute mark) …brilliant stuff!!

🙂



iain
 
Joined in 2006
January 16, 2011, 13:57

:sushi:

…and this is just because I know Anthony loves sushi!

:bigsmile:



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 16, 2011, 14:19

All of us must listen to the important point that she makes (at 7.23 minute mark) …brilliant stuff!!

🙂


Thanks for the Sushi Iain………yes believing we are worthy……..HUGE!……. and difficult to find if you have a Christian belief system and culture that says your sexual orientation puts you outside the city walls like a leper.

Mr Summit
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2010
January 16, 2011, 14:36

TED consistently produces great content.


This really did resonate with me. It reminds me of how my hands shook every time I told someone I was gay before I had come to really accept myself. There was a lot of shame. But it also makes me think of how much happier I am now that I really do feel good about myself and that I am loved. There is a lot to learn here, and I imagine the talk mirrors a lot of LGBT people’s personal experiences.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 16, 2011, 14:45

i think the courage and vulnerability she talks about are very relevant to us coming out and the improved sense of wellbeing that brings.


What about this statement Brene makes…..


They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that would made them vulnerable also made them beautiful.


…and


Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness. But it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy or creativity and love and a sense of belonging.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
January 16, 2011, 15:17

Hi avb


You quoted Brene Brown:


They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that that which made them vulnerable also made them beautiful.


…and


Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness. But it appears that it is also the birthplace of joy or creativity and love and a sense of belonging.


Yeah I particularly loved that. And it’s a big challenge for me. I believe fully in the first statement but still find it difficult to practice. My counsellor moves me, sometimes to tears, by the way he lives this. He is so open and wholehearted despite enduring severe losses in his life. And sometimes just being with him is a bit too painful to bear…


And yet as the second statement says, there are all the good things present alongside the pain.. so I persist in the journey towards vulnerability because I don’t want to miss those opportunities.


To me the process of believing we are worthy is a complex one. It may take considerable time to dismantle the messages that run counter to that, especially as you say for LGBT who have been shunned from church or other groups in society.


Blessings,


Ann Maree
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