Forums

Son of a pentecostal minister

Page:   1 2 3 4
 
 

joe
 
Joined in 2012
April 21, 2012, 12:04

Hi guys, I'm new to this forum,

Someone suggested I post my story here:


I'm openly gay and attend a pentecostal church in Melbourne. I sort of feel called to, even though it's not an officially 'gay-affirming' church. There's certainly pro-gay Christians within the church and I think my presence there can be a good thing for building bridges. Recently, in response to some talk around homosexuality and the church, I posted a blog sharing a part of my story and linked to it from my Facebook site for all my church friends to read. Hundreds did and the response so far has been positive.


Here's the link:

http://redbookstories.wordpress.com


It's mainly about the turning point in my life, as a pentecostal minister's son, when I accepted my orientation as a gift from God. Hope it encourages. Cheers, joe



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 21, 2012, 14:12

Hi joe

A big welcome to f2b! Thanks for sharing your story and some of your music. I really enjoyed it and was moved by Exile. 🙂

You said:


Overnight, without having done anything to deserve it, everyone in your world becomes suddenly unsafe. All this simply because when your hormones kicked in, your biology pointed your orientation towards a certain gender.


Yes, how true and well put.

I also liked these sections a lot:


I know some people must think the whole ‘gay debate’ is a side-issue, or something to avoid or fear. But I also know if an issue affected your health, happiness, faith, sense of community, acceptance by those you knew and loved, hopes for romance and a family life of your own, even your legal status, you would view it as a supremely important issue. And if you look at things another way, this issue is all about the supreme issue: love – the way we love, our definition of it, how we love each other despite our differences. It’s certainly what Jesus’ story was all about – his reason for living and dying.


Wow – I couldn't have put it better.


…Who really knows what causes our sexual orientation (many arguments are unconvincing, at best); who knows how fixed our identities are (though the fixedness of heterosexuality never seems to be quite so poked and prodded). The issue has always been whether we’re accepted as we are, right now, not if it’s possible to be something else. In the meantime, I figure if we’re able to tell our stories openly and honestly then there’s a chance to build bridges of understanding, community and love. And we need to find peace in those things more than in who’s right and who’s wrong.


Yes I agree there are some poor arguments on both sides.. and we can get sidelined by those and the science that we don't even have within our grasp yet. There's so much we simply do not know. And yes, heterosexuality is never examined in the same way as homosexuality which is unfair. I agree that the search for the origins of sexuality and personality, although interesting, are secondary to accepting and loving others who are different to us or challenging in some way.


.. no one can question the inheritance, intimacy and identity I have with God – that we all have as children of God. And that I should declare it, without compromise. I’m not a declaring type. I prefer stories. But I do know I have a place at the table, as do we all. In this, I’m confident.


What an inspirational finish. Thank you! This is really encouraging and you articulate things very well.

Blessings,

Ann Maree



joe
 
Joined in 2012
April 21, 2012, 15:06

Thanks so much for reading and responding Ann Maree. 🙂 I must admit that, as much as I'd love to have written it, 'Exile' is by the band, The National. I love it too. All the best, joe



sarab
 
Joined in 2011
April 21, 2012, 17:47

Thanks so much Joe for your blog – you write and express yourself beautifully – I found myself nodding as I read.

I too have a strong sense that the sharing of our own stories is incredibly important. I am only just dipping my toe into the water of disclosure – not yet out with family, colleagues or some friends – yet have felt safe enough to do so in a loving supportive church community.

Reading stories like yours gives me just a little more courage & affirmation. I hope we hear more from you on this site.

Many thanks

Sarab.



joe
 
Joined in 2012
April 21, 2012, 20:30

Hi Sara, thanks so much. I agree, sometimes sharing our own stories, with all their messiness and humanity is the only way to really connect with people who would otherwise disregard what we have to say. Having that support and community is equally important. It's all about making those connections! 🙂 j



forestgrey
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
April 21, 2012, 23:38

Joe – I, too, say "Welcome". Being a 'PK' (pastors kid) makes the coming out process more difficult. We have quite a few PKs on this Forum .. .. .. along with some ex-pastors and missionaries and lay leaders and their children.


So, your contribution will be very valuable. Thank you for helping us to "save lives, prevent harm and empower people from LGBTI backgrounds .. .. .. ". I hope many will be drawn to your writings. Bless ya!



joe
 
Joined in 2012
April 22, 2012, 10:07

Thanks forestgrey, indeed it does add complications being a PK! Especially in the pentecostal church with the fanciful theories about bad parenting that some christians believe about homosexuality. catch ya round, joe



Mother Hen
 
Joined in 2011
April 22, 2012, 11:52

Hi Joe, welcome to F2B and thank you so much for sharing your wonderful journey of courage, strength, hope and faith. You are an incredible young man.


Overnight, without having done anything to deserve it, everyone in your world becomes suddenly unsafe.


As a mother this brings me great sadness, not just for yourself to feel unsafe with people in your life but also for the friends and family. As you have done nothing to deserve those feelings neither have the parents, to think that my son when he was trying to sort through his own issues felt unsafe with me, his mother and his father and brother is very sad and unfair on us as well. The churches attitude and beliefs we were all taught have not only had an effect on you, our son and the whole LGBTI community but also on their families. I believe as we all stand united as a family, as a community we can change the attitude of the church.


On this note how have things been for you with your parents and family?


All this simply because when your hormones kicked in, your biology pointed your orientation towards a certain gender.


Hopefully we will have a future where there is nothing “Unnatural” about being attracted to the same sex. Sex education at schools will also include same sex attraction, or being Bi, Transgender, Intersex etc. where it is seen as being no different than having blue or brown eyes or being left or right handed. To live in a society and church where you feel safe, accepted, loved, to be yourself, to feel you belong, where you don’t feel at odds with the world. Where you are treated equal and have the same rights as heterosexuals. I feel we are slowly making positive moves in this direction and pray for it to come soon.


I had been on anti-depressants for two years leading up to my trip to Tasmania but had run out (at pretty much the same time I came across the ‘red book’). I’ve never been on them since. A heaviness had lifted from me that day.


Wow that’s amazing.


In the meantime, I figure if we’re able to tell our stories openly and honestly then there’s a chance to build bridges of understanding, community and love. And we need to find peace in those things more than in who’s right and who’s wrong.


I believe this is so true, as you and many other’s on this site have so bravely shared your story it opens the eyes and hearts of other’s, brings understanding and acceptance where there was once ignorance.


that no one can question the inheritance, intimacy and identity I have with God -that we all have as children of God. And that I should declare it, without compromise.


Amen brother 🙂


Thanks so much for sharing your story, as you have mentioned you do not usually share personal stories about yourself. It shows what a courageous person you are, know that many other’s will benefit for you being so open and honest.


God Bless



joe
 
Joined in 2012
April 22, 2012, 13:15

Hi Mother Hen,


Thanks for your kind words 🙂


As far as family goes, it's funny, as obviously each family member deals with things in a different way and has different beliefs -they don't all respond the same way -at least not in my case. I'm very mindful of not speaking too much for family members, as how they feel about GLBT issues and how they express it is also a 'coming out' process for them, with some of the same implications that there are for the GLBT person -particularly in my case with much of my family in pentecostal ministry! But I will say that I have found it is possible to weather the storms of disagreeing wildly on issues and still remain close, and that in time truth and love win out! What was it that Martin Luther King Jr said? 'Truth pressed down will always rise to the surface again' -or something like that!


thanks again for the encouragement! x j



davidt
 
Joined in 2009
April 23, 2012, 13:23

Hi Joe


Thanks so much for sharing your story. It was very moving.


Isn't it just amazing how you were let to that book in Tasmania? Just tremendous.


The verse that really turned on the light for me after years of struggle was Matt 19:12 "For some are eunuchs because they were born that way….The one who can accept this should accept it"…So I did.


Its great you have started to read more widely. One of the most important things I did was to study the 6 passages for myself. I should have done it years ago.


The fact that I am gay was medically proven in my case. I am still married to my wife after 41 years and no, a straight marriage doesn't change a thing. I'm a former Baptist Pastor and Missionary – now retired.


May the Lord seem even closer to you now you have come out to yourself and started to come out to others.


Warm regards


In Him


David


Page:   1 2 3 4
 
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.109 seconds.