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When is it appropriate to keep conversations on the forum and when to take them off line.....suggestions???

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Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 6, 2010, 15:07

Well yes, this is good advice, mobileguy. And I’d certainly always recommend/refer to professional counselling outside the site if needed. So far I haven’t had those sorts of PMs though. Has anyone else?



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 6, 2010, 18:58

Good points added to the mix above. I hadn’t thought of that, GoldenLab, but you are right. If someone wants to come out they usually need less daunting means to build their confidence, which might include PMs, before posting to the group. Mind you, they may find those opportunities in their lives outside of this forum and so PMs may never need to come into it. Not sure if PMs have been used much in that way here…The other moderators would have more of an idea about that. And yes, you are right also, axiom, that a username does not necessarily guarantee anonymity. I have been in a situation before of being able to identify people I knew by the content and style of what they were posting. So useful to keep in mind where privacy is a particular issue…



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 6, 2010, 23:49

wow….when I started this thread i really didn’t think it would get such a response.


Everyone thoughts/experience/insights/perspectives…..have been fantastic.


thats why I love this site so much.


please feel free to add thoughts if you want……I think we have a good cross section from people to be able to create a policy doc. the best thing about this though of course has been to create awareness.



Chris
Administrator
Joined in 2009
April 7, 2010, 21:38

In the past I have owned some sites that had forums & I have been admin on quite a few as well. Now I know that they were not the same as this one as they were Gaming Sites & Forums, but the principle is the same.



On this site I feel that PM’s are essential especially if someone is cruising the site & is thinking of coming out. They may feel that they need to contact someone privately about their ” Issues ” before telling everyone on the forums.


Coming from a similar background having administered, moderated and been a part of many forums, I feel the same way about this.


On the one hand, it is important to have policies in place to ensure the forums are used correctly. Formatting the “Telling Our Stories” posts to make them easier to find, for example. Or just general rules about being polite and respectful.


On the other hand, I think that once you start telling people that they should use the forums instead of other means (ie: private messages), then you’ve crossed a line. People should be free to select what medium of communication they feel is appropriate for their needs at the time.


I understand there is a trade-off here, but once a person is more comfortable later on then there is nothing stopping them from posting to the forum when they are ready. I don’t think having some kind of policy in place will be as healthy as the natural progression that simply occurs, as it always has, for people becoming more confident over time about the issues they’re facing.


I certainly wouldn’t have posted my story here without getting to know some of the people first via other means.



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 7, 2010, 21:54

Thanks Chris. I like your gentle approach. 🙂


And it’s nice to hear about your experiences, which are very valuable to us here, confirming my thoughts, and no doubt what a lot of people experience.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 7, 2010, 23:11

In the past I have owned some sites that had forums & I have been admin on quite a few as well. Now I know that they were not the same as this one as they were Gaming Sites & Forums, but the principle is the same.

On this site I feel that PM’s are essential especially if someone is cruising the site & is thinking of coming out. They may feel that they need to contact someone privately about their ” Issues ” before telling everyone on the forums.


Coming from a similar background having administered, moderated and been a part of many forums, I feel the same way about this.


On the one hand, it is important to have policies in place to ensure the forums are used correctly. Formatting the “Telling Our Stories” posts to make them easier to find, for example. Or just general rules about being polite and respectful.


On the other hand, I think that once you start telling people that they should use the forums instead of other means (ie: private messages), then you’ve crossed a line. People should be free to select what medium of communication they feel is appropriate for their needs at the time.


I understand there is a trade-off here, but once a person is more comfortable later on then there is nothing stopping them from posting to the forum when they are ready. I don’t think having some kind of policy in place will be as healthy as the natural progression that simply occurs, as it always has, for people becoming more confident over time about the issues they’re facing.


I certainly wouldn’t have posted my story here without getting to know some of the people first via other means.


Another good point.


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