Coming out at 51

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Joined in 2009
February 3, 2012, 05:18

Chapter Leader
Joined in 2009
February 5, 2012, 08:51

hi rainbow girl,

what an amazing story and such courage. it was great meeting you here in sydney and i'm really happy for your new found freedom.


Rainbow Girl
Joined in 2011
February 7, 2012, 08:35

Hi Sanguine_chick….was so good to meet you too.

Well its back to reality….working and juggling life. I had a visit from my youngest son on Friday. He came for lunch and stayed until 4pm. We had a good chat, and I was pleased that his visit indicated things are good between us. Another of my sons is paying me a visit today. I want to make the most of every opportunity to foster good relationships with my kids.

My husband had some time away visiting his sister over the long weekend. I've sent a few texts lately, without receiving any replies from him…apart from a scripture reference which was supposed to be about me and my behaviour….hmmmm.

I'm hoping he does seek professional help, but knowing him I'm not so sure he will.

A heartfelt thanks to everyone here who has commented and offered love, prayers and support. Blessings and hugs to all 🙂

Rainbow Girl

Joined in 2005
February 7, 2012, 10:01

wow Rainbow girl, just read your story, sorry be for being so slack, its taken me forever to read your story … its exciting to see you journey, I am 42 and Im yet to come out to my family with the exception of my brother (who doesn't really believe me anyway)lol and I've been feeling "a little weird" because Im 42 and still in the closet. So its kind of refreshing to know that someone at 52 is in the process of coming out as well. Actually, if I didn't miss understand, you have already come out right, well at least to a few people, not your husband just yet, I hope and pray that it goes well for you, I am glad you have found this place,the people here will love you and accept you, encourage you and support you.

I am still struggling to some degree, have my ups and downs and not sure if I will go through the whole coming out thing … I want to, just scared and anxious I guess, not sure if my parents are ready for it and not certain if they will accept it …. anyway, its good to have you here.

Rich blessings,


Princess _Fiona
Joined in 2011
February 7, 2012, 16:02

Hi Rainbow Girl

So great to read another posting from you and an update.

Its always good to go away, like you did to conference even for a short time and get recharged. Its true when there is alot happening in our lives coming back to reality can be difficult and in our face.

Good things are happening with your sons which is fantastic, hope todays visit with your other son is enjoyable as well. It warms my mummy heart to hear that your are all continuing to spend time together as mother and son. If they do have any questions etc down the track, at least you have a good relationship for them to feel comfortable in approaching you with these questions etc. No doubt they don't like seeing her dad going through a difficult time. From what I've witnessed and understand in any marriage break up beside from the reasons why, children regardless of age. do have questions and it takes great maturity for an adult child not to take sides. Your children sound like they have a great grasp on that its noones fault, which is truth and are sorting things through themselves. Your done a great job there in coming out to them and raising them as loving and accepting human beings (well done as a mum!).

Sorry to hear that dispite your trying to stay connected with the childrens dad, he is igorning mainly. Him sending you that text, as you know is just his pain coming out in an ugly way and can be an attempt to cause guilt and an array of reactions from you. Try not to fall into that trap, you sound like you are handling everything so well considering its a hard process in coming out and can only imagine how difficult it was being brave enough in ending your marriage. In time he will accept that things arent going to work with the two of you and stop playing the blame/guilt game. As you know its a process of grieving for you both and starting afresh new chapter in your journey though life.

Hope your still enjoying your job and the new lady in your life.

Well done rainbow girl, you have come so far and are standing confident in who you are and your faith



Joined in 2010
February 7, 2012, 19:43

Hi Rainbow Girl

I too had a fantastic time at the conference and it was soooo special to be in Sam's elective and for the presence of God to be in the room for others to share and some in the elective have never felt the presence of God before so it was truly amazing for them. (I have missed that over the last few years)

It was great to meet you and your special friend. You are both amazing ladies and I hope and pray that next time we meet, we will be able to spend much more time together just chatting. The weekend went by so quickly.

My hubby and I will be heading back down to Sydney in a few short weeks for Mardi Gras and I cannot wait. Rainbow Girl, I pray that you will be able to make it over for Mardi Gras next year also and Mother Hen, we will have hours to wait so we will catch up then. Looking forward to it.

This forum is so amazing. It connects so many different people with such diverse backgrounds and stories, yet we all have one thing in common and that is the love for each other and the willingness to be there for each other. Not many places are like that so to everyone out there in forum land, a great big hug from me.

Blessings to you all.

Love Helen xxx

Rainbow Girl
Joined in 2011
February 9, 2012, 09:25

Hi Brunski….thanks for reading my story. I have actually come out to my husband, so almost all of my family know. I've moved out and am trying to make my way in the world as a new person.

I know its an incredibly scary thing to do, but I have no regrets for having come out to everyone who needs to know at this point. Family can be the hardest, as the first reaction may be disbelief, as you mentioned you have from your brother. I'm still being accused of making it all up, and realise that this is the way some people cope with the news. Later on they will come to know the truth that I know in myself.

I encourage you to make a list of the people you want to tell in the near future, and then plan how you'll do this. I found that putting it all down in a letter was extremely helpful, as I could write it how I wanted to say it, and then leave them to read and digest it before they responded. You may choose to email some or talk on the phone or in person. You may be surprised at the responses you get, though. For me, many had already guessed, or had suspected something. You may find, Brunski, that the people closest to you know already, or have had an inkling, and won't be all that surprised!

At the end of the day…its your life, for you to live as you choose. I found I wanted to live my life as who I really am. Even though there are challenges and difficulties for having come out, I have no regrets, and I would choose the same way if I had to do it again. Thanks for sharing your story, and keep me posted. All the best for your exciting journey. 🙂 ((hugs))

Princess_Fiona you are such a sweetie. Your lovely words of encouragement and praise warmed my heart. Thanks.

I hope things are going well with you. I see you went to a F2b evening…wow!! That must've been amazing! Good on you for taking that step, and great your girlfriend went with you …. fabulous!

Hi Helen. Yes the weekend went flying by didn't it? I'm pleased we met and I know we'll meet up again…maybe at a Mardi Gras!!

Love and hugs to all 🙂

Rainbow Girl

Sophia Chokhmah
Joined in 2011
February 11, 2012, 22:39

Rainbow_girl you are such an inspiration! I love how you are living authentically! What a brave lady you are 🙂


Rainbow Girl
Joined in 2011
February 16, 2012, 07:21

Thanks for your encouraging words Sophia. I'm so pleased to be able to inspire others in any way.

There are costs and challenges to coming out, which need to be weighed up. I'm experiencing some struggles at the moment…personal ones really, and family ones. My family are wonderful, but the struggles are within myself, trying to adapt to the the way my life is now. Reality sets in, and knowing that nothing will ever be the way it used to be is quite an adjustment.

Thanks and love to you all

Rainbow Girl

Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
March 19, 2012, 14:51

Hey Bro 🙂 how are things over the ditch :P.

Just a note to say I am thinking of you and hope all is working out well for you and settling down.

God Bless

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