Coming Out to Christian Parents

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Joined in 2006
June 24, 2008, 10:45

Ben that is a wonderful honest letter and very very well written and thought out and I ditto on having support for both you and your parents available.

Thanks Anthony and Frogger for the offer but in my previous talks about this with Hillsong pastors, either they try to shove me in another ex-gay program or like some pastors have, they just pray for me and then ignore it. My connect leader just prayed for me and told me….”Well Sy Rogers did it”. He’s said nothing since. Aargh!!!!

Thats annoying yes but Sy was wanting a sex change and felt he was a woman really in the wrong body (he also had a very very shattered childhood and his perception couldve been distorted and not suprisingly so), very different to a gay man who loves being a man wanting to be with men, Sy was not homosexual as far as I can see with these things in mind(so can hardly be used as a homosexual model for change), people still need to be educated in that arena(re:transsexuals) as far as I can see(in my opinion).

Joined in 2008
June 24, 2008, 11:37

Ben, I am so proud of you and the maturity that you have shown in the letter to your parents. Its tough coming out parents, but if your paretns really love you, they will understand.

I am a hetro parent and if a child of mine came out and said they were gay, yes I would be dsappointed as I would know that it is a hard road to travel and no grandchildren, but they would still be my child whom I love.

God Bless


Joined in 2005
June 24, 2008, 19:07

Hey all, yes I have been busy sorting out my family, and other things… I am okay. Super crazy busy with work, family and life in general.

Ben, I’m sure my parents could lead you to a supportive pastor, maybe not with the same values as you, but supportive all the same. They found pastors who were supportive to them in their time of dealing with my sexuality, my relationship and then my partner and I having kids…

Joined in 2007
June 24, 2008, 19:49

Ben, what a beautiful and heartfelt letter as many have said. I am so proud of you taking that step for yourself and standing by your convictions. Ground yourself in God’s love and His words. Keep reminding yourself of God’s unconditional love no matter what happens and how things dont go to plan, God is working behind the scene and in front.

Also remember that we will be praying for you and your family. I think most of up will also be up all night thinking/praying about you and your family.

When you leave the letter, pray over it and put it in God’s hand. Knowing that God is in control. Love you bro! I think its pretty clear that your freedom to be you gang are 100% behind you and your mum and dad.

hugs 🙂

Joined in 2006
June 26, 2008, 11:23

Well done Ben!

I am so proud of you to have written such a positive and confident letter to your parents …filled with genuine love and integrity!

We’ll all be thinking about you this weekend.



Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
June 26, 2008, 15:36

Hi Ben….I sent you an email with some instructions. could you please confirm that you received it.


Joined in 2007
June 27, 2008, 09:37

Wow Ben, I so should not have read that at school why my kids are working on the computers. Man alive, I am moved, torn, inspired and a whole range of emotions right now. It’s all a little too close to home, but such a huge step.

God Bless and good luck,


cow shoes
Joined in 2007
June 27, 2008, 11:17

Hi Ben,

what a wonderful, well written and heartfelt letter. My situation is a little different to yours in that I’m a Christian parent who had to come out to adult children. One of my children is a penecostal Christian and has found it both difficult to accept my choice and understand how I could even have made it. I hope one day to be able to have an honest conversation with her and I would love to be able to show her your letter as it explains the situation in such a loving and clear way. Hope all goes well this weekend. Your parents have a son who can they can be justly proud of.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
June 27, 2008, 11:34

encouraging words from the other side of the fence cowshoes…..thanks

Andrew Jones
Joined in 2008
June 27, 2008, 15:43

Hi Ben

Your letter is powerful and from the heart!

You have received some fantastic godly insight that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Your words cast me back to my own letter to my mother. God has always been interested in the state of our hearts, not the level of our piety or church devotion, but our hearts. You have a good heart Ben and God will honour that with grace and love. Your journey through the darkness (depression) is all but complete and the light is enveloping you (the love of God and your friends and supportive colleagues).

I look forward to hearing from you after this weekend.

You will never be alone again and you will THRIVE!

God bless Ben,


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