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Never in my wildest dreams: Journey of a boi 19 to a man 40

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iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
June 30, 2008, 21:10

Going back 2 years ago, I never in my wildest dreams would’ve imagined I’d come out as gay 😀 considering that I was so passionately involved in a Pentecostal church that, at the time, was everything in my life!


I grew up in an Anglican family, but left for a Pentecostal church when I was 19. There I stayed for about 20 years, secretly enduring my own painful repression of same sex attraction to men, not knowing what was happening to me, or why, until fairly recently when I finally gave in after a falling out with the church, and decided to do some “soul searching” to try and discover the real me, and from there at last identifying as being gay.


My journey along this road has thus been relatively short, and in some ways I am still unsure of my belief systems, having left a church that was quite fundamentalist and insular by nature.


I am now slowly rebuilding a circle of friends and companions, and hope to meet many more on this forum 😀

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 30, 2008, 23:58

Welcome welcome welcome mobile guy.


I know the feeling……never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be out, happy, have such wonderful friends…..and never….no never imagined I’d start a group to support GLBT people from Pente backgrounds.


Hope to hear more from you in the future.

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
July 6, 2008, 12:28

I know the feeling……never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be out, happy, have such wonderful friends…..and never….no never imagined I’d start a group to support GLBT people from Pente backgrounds.


Thanks Anthony for your encouraging words 🙂 It’s been 12 months now since I left that Pente church – haven’t heard a peep from anyone there since but hey … I’m looking forward, not back 😆


Was listening to 103.2 FM radio this morning for the first time since Heaven knows how long! I used to listen to it all the time. I guess I just shut down my Christian belief system to cope with the pain caused. I still believe in love (1 Corinthians 13 – one of the best chapters in the Bible!!!) healings and miracles. Still working through some of the more spiritual aspects though 🙂

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
July 6, 2008, 14:54

Hey Mobileguy, great to have you here welcome 😀

I think most of us have gone thru the Christian shut down period, I know I did, i couldnt even read a Bible without a panic attack, the only books I read was Enid Blyton 😳 😆 but it helped but for 2 weeks I was on valiums because I had an emotional breakdown, I had gone thru spiritual abuse at church from a Cell group (10yrs ago), Im all good now tho 😀 you do get back to it when youre ready but a little wiser. 😉

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 6, 2008, 15:37

as I think you’ve read already……I shut my belief system down for 6 years. Actually never planned to go back there.


If someone mentioned the word god…..I’d have a pannick attack…..literally.


If you can begin to look or even talk about any of that stuff I think shows the healing is beginning.

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
July 6, 2008, 18:46

I had gone thru spiritual abuse at church from a Cell group (10yrs ago), Im all good now tho 😀 you do get back to it when youre ready but a little wiser. 😉


Hey magsdee,


Thanks heaps for sharing your insights with us. I’ve read about some terrible cases of spiritual abuse in churches. Anyways, it’s onwards and upwards for me 😆

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
July 6, 2008, 20:01

Yes indeed, onward and upward and a time of refreshing 😀

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
December 13, 2008, 13:24

Just thought I’d update everyone on my journey thus far …

There has been some amazing progress in rediscovering my spirituality, namely the identification of 3 central beliefs that define my relationships with God and other people; Healing, Peace and Love. Through these, I am able to come to a place of restitution and sanctuary, where the broken is once again restored and made whole again.

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
December 13, 2008, 13:34

Thats an awesome place to be 😀 How encouraging.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
December 14, 2008, 13:07

oh what a feeling…….when the questions are answered and we also realise that we don’t need all the questions answered.


Healing, Peace and Love……how simple yet profound and powerful
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