I’m not so much afraid of the rejection if I come out to this guy because if I did then I’m fairly sure of the response I would get. The church I previously attended teaches that gay is bad and they generally excommunicate all gay people if they out themselves. My response was very positive and I certainly didn’t include any negative elements that could indicate I am unhappy with life after leaving the church. I’m not in any hurry to jump back into corporate worship either. Anyways, will see how he responds. Here’s hoping that I can make a difference to the prevailing attitude.

I got an email reply today. He congratulated me on my achievements that I mentioned in my initial response to him. He spoke briefly about his church and family life and the fact that he had changed churches as he didn’t believe in one particular doctrinal teaching (long story). He asked me about my spiritual walk and how my career is going. Nothing really sinister here 0:) Maybe I was a bit stressed out and trying to read things into it that I shouldn’t have. I’ll reply to his email as I did before, again not mentioning anything about my sexual orientation, unless it is specifically brought up during the course of email communications. I’m comfortable with that outcome 🙂

Yep, sometimes it is difficult to ascertain just how much (and when) information we should give out. Anthony and I have seperately discussed the process of disclosing my orientation to others. This guy would be in the high risk category so I won’t be disclosing anytime soon. The advice not to be judgemental I think will stand me in good stead if an opportunity came up to talk about sexual orientation in general. I think there are also assumptions that have been made by both of us (consciously or unconsciously) that there will always be that divide between us doctrinally about a specific issue that I can’t mention here on the forum.

My philosophical side of me says that there is always a solution to every problem and I’m often guilty as charged for being an eternal optimist, but in the real world, where so many factors come into play, it can be a different story. I guess we would all like to be able to see into the future and anticipate the highs and lows of life, but I know I can’t do that, so I have to plan as best as I can, and make the most of what I have been given and hopefully use my skills and talents to help others in the best way possible. I’ve probably gotten off track here so I’ll see how things pan out and hope that something good comes out of our dialogue.

Hi mobileguy and avb,

Yeah it’s true that just as we’ve changed it’s likely that others have as well. That’s encouraging to remember.

Avb, I had a look at your link above and the ideas in your presentation have overlapped with other thoughts I’ve had. I like your suggestion of creating ‘new spaces’ for Christians and GLBTIQ to meet. I think this is important for letting go of the past and faclitating the formation of new relationships. It had recently occurred to me that if the emphasis was always on members of our community to make all the effort by going to church, this would be imbalanced and unfair. As well as that, it could make an already vulnerable minority even more fragile.

So in terms of creating new spaces, I’ve had an idea. What about Christians doing some outreach, coming out on ‘placement’ or work experience to see the everyday experiences of someone who identifies as GLBTIQ? For those who are interested in work experience anyway, this could be a great way of satisfying 2 goals at the same time. I’d volunteer to have someone spend the day or week with me and am happy to talk about my experiences as a lesbian and answer any questions.

What do you think?

I’m wondering what other ideas there are for creating these new spaces. The aim is to facilitate dialogue that increases understanding and moves toward unity.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

I’m sorry that the conversation has taken a direction that only confirms your original feelings.

I don’t think that coming out to this person will improve matters and will only leave you open to being hurt.

Perhaps you could just politely end the discussion, let the guy know you don’t intend to return to church and you’re glad that he thought of you, at least and leave it at that.