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outed, rejected, but moving forward

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IanJ
 
Joined in 2009
January 11, 2012, 21:22

maybe a little update in the journey is required!


After being separated (and now divorced) for three and a half years, I can have civil conversations with my former wife – though mostly about 'administrative' issues- though she has shown concern about my mother's recent ill-health.

I haven't had a lot more contact with my kids, but I did receive a very positive email from my daughter thanking me for the concern I had shown during a difficult episode in her life.

I have established a permanent home.

I have a lot of new friends.

I am one year into a part-time PhD, that I never had the confidence to pursue in the past.

I am having discussions with 3 guys at the moment about their coming out issues, all cross cultural.


thank you all for your support.

🙂

freeme
 
Joined in 2011
January 12, 2012, 00:41

Ian,


Hi thankyou for having the boldness in sharing your story which is the beginning of the healing process.


I relate to your story so closely and related well with your torment,pain,feeling forsaken,scared,fearful, etc.

That was my experience as well it is soo sad when you are in a "Church" supposedly full of love,acceptance and forgiveness (as that is the message they preach all the time?) yet when you are gay that just isn't the case and you learn to hide and become someone you are not all because as you say " there is no-one to talk to about this??).


It is so interesting about what you shared re the words of an old hym " just as i am without oine plee…" God brought that to my mind two days ago early in the morning while having my daily devotions and boy did it minister to me i wept when the revelation took a hold of my mind and emotions and i praised God for that powerful truth. God does work powerfully in mysterious ways doesn't He!


But! It is so true He loves us sooooo much that we cannot even begin to believe how strong His love is towards us UNCONDITIONAL Wow! Wow! Wow! to be able to finally relax Knowing this is amazingly leberating.


Ian thanx for that sharing.


Brother you are on my prayer list each morning from now on. Don't give up Ian as "All this work together for good to then that love God and are the called according to His purpose".

He sees every tear you have shed, recorded every heart cry and prayer you have offered.He is constantly at work even when we think He has left the building. He will never leave us or forsake us as His promise is – " I am with you always".


God bless you Ian you are a champion.

bslaforce
 
Joined in 2010
January 13, 2012, 00:15

Ian, I am so glad that you shared your story here. The parallels with my story are ironic. I do understand the shame, the hiding, the duplicity, the longing for authenticity, and the deep pain of being apart from your children. You are a valuable man and loved by many, I am sure. Warmest regards!!!!

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
January 13, 2012, 10:23

Hi Ian

Well done and thanks for the update!

It's so encouraging to hear that your life has just kept progressing from strength to strength. 🙂

You are indeed a lovely person and I hope you get to meet up with bslaforce when in Dallas.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

forestgrey
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
January 14, 2012, 22:44

Ian – G'day! Your update is so encouraging. Just proves the "it does get better" axiom. God bless ~ david

IanJ
 
Joined in 2009
April 1, 2012, 17:54

Another update:


In the past two weeks, I have met with my daughter twice! We are slowly and carefully catching up on the 'gap' in our relationship over the past 3 3/4 years. Today we were sharing photographs, so those Freedom2b members who know my daughter, will be pleased to know that she knows that we are friends 🙂


I've also had contact with both of my boys through email and text message (one of them I have seen about 3 times in the past 18 months).


We are starting to put the jigsaw puzzle of our lives back together.


thanks all for your support – and I hope to see many of you at the next Sydney chapter meeting.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 1, 2012, 19:13

Hi Ian

That's so wonderful to hear! It's been a long journey, hasn't it?.. And yet you are a testimony to the fact that family members can turn around given the time, space and ongoing love. Your persistence and patience have paid off.

Congratulations! 🙂

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Chris
Administrator
Joined in 2009
April 1, 2012, 20:03

That's great Ian, I'm glad to hear things are making progress!

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 2, 2012, 10:04

great news ian

ShadowBoxer
Moderator
Joined in 2005
April 3, 2012, 09:17

Thats Great News Ian – and keep up the updates


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