I would love to know sy’s reply as to Thinking as a ex Gay. The mind is one part of the body that does not change.Does he look at a male and feel nothing. If he does then he could be changed. But if he was absolutely true i am sure that He would have to say that He still had feelings that supported that he was still Gay.Then he would be living a lie.Remember that the Bible said that truth will set you free. I will always be gay because Ti think as a gay person.

FTR I was basically made to listen to 8 of his tapes and then go to see him speak here in Perth (at Rhema/Riverview, which was his base church when he visited Perth) in late 1996, and it was definitely a very strongly “ex-gay” message at that point. He spoke about “sexual brokenness” and made it very, very clear that he saw homosexuality as a manifestation of this. He talked about his own experience as if all gay people had come through his own path (the abuse, drugs, transexual stuff etc). I was 18 at the time and my parents were convinced it was a phase I was going through, and a family friend active in the church recommended his stuff. I think they all honestly believed if I listened to the tapes and went and saw him speak I’d somehow snap out of it. I’m a fair person but also a strong one – I may rabidly disagree with what someone says but I will hear them out, so I did listen to all 8 tapes and to his message at the church.

Thankfully, seeing him kind of shut my dad up – he went with me, and didn’t come away with a very positive impression. (In essence, didn’t believe he was a very good example of a cured gay person.)

Probably my lack of anger or distress about the situation simply reflects I was already out four months by the time this happened and I was both pretty secure in my sexual identity and pretty distant from the church by then. Agreed very much with Anthony that many Christians live in a state of ignorance about homosexuality – we used to have these bizarre stories and “surveys” about alleged sexual behaviour quoted to us in youth group and at church and etc. (I heard these from as young as 13-14.) I found out years later online that the sample size was about 300 and they found them at an AIDS clinic somewhere in the US, so it wasn’t what I would call a reliable sample of the overall gay population

I am sure that your father being straight could have seen a Gay man up on the platform. That is probably to see Sy as he really looked.

I heard Sy Rogers speak at a couple of events in Auckland, New Zealand, in 1996 (while I was going through my ‘ex gay’ conversion course “Living Waters”) and I was amazed and enthralled and totally entertained! Like the American Andy Comiskey, founder of Living Waters, Sy looks and sounds like a gay man, but they are both married to their respective wives and to all intents and purposes gave the impression that they have been converted to the hetero lifestyle and are extremely happy. You never got to meet the wives, though, huh? They didn’t seem to take them anywhere on their trips! Why is that?

As to the question of “what is Sy really saying” I suppose we can all go to church and hear the same ‘sermon’ and come away feeling convicted (or not), or offended (or not), or blessed (or not), or inspired (or not), depending on our situation and mindset (or soul-set) at the time.

I suppose for me, because I was in ‘conversion’ mode when I heard Sy speak, I completely absorbed everything he had to say, and agreed with it. I felt inspired that if he could move on (straighten out), so could I.

I don’t think Sy has any intention of hurting anyone with his words. On the contrary, I think Sy genuinely loves people and is passionate about helping them.

Sy is a straight talker, though, that’s for sure. Especially when it comes to pre-marital sex! I remember vividly him holding up his left hand and pointing to his wedding ring and saying “If you don’t wear this, you haven’t earned the right!” In other words you need to grow up, take responsibility, get committed and stay committed. Interesting ….

Just on Sy Rogers comment about marriage earning him the right to have sex: People have to learn to drive and prove their skills by getting a licence before being allowed to drive independently. And yet any heterosexual or gay person pretending to be hetero of a certain age can go to Vegas or elsewhere and get married. How is that earning the right? And I don’t think a wedding ring means that someone has earned the right to a sexual relationship!! Earning something implies that work has been done to get to that stage of commitment. I mean I take his implied point that commitment suggests respect and other qualities are present that will support and underpin a sexual relationship rather than the union being a purely physical connection which is not likely to last long term. But are those sustainable qualities really there just because someone decides to marry? Anyone in the early stages of passion may just be caught up in their feelings or good intentions and not realise they don’t have the basic foundations to maintain a long term marriage. I believe it’s ideal to develop other aspects of the relationship before entering into sexual intimacy. However, merely making a declaration of commitment is not enough to grant a sexual relationship or make a marriage work.

Personally, I wish that extensive marriage and life skills training was compulsory before people tied the knot. This would help them know a bit more of what they’re entering into and perhaps spare those who are really not meant to marry. It might also provide a sense of something truly earned while allowing participants to be better equipped to manage the ups and downs of relationship.