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The Sy Rogers Story

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
September 6, 2009, 13:40

this article has been written for some time now but I have been reluctant to put this up here……but as so many have mentioned Sy to me….have seen his videos or heard him preach live…..and now this article is already up on the net.. http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/22698.htm ..I thought I should also put it up here. this may answer some of the questions I’m constantly asked.


THE SY ROGERS STORY

(An Anthony Venn-Brown Perspective)


Sy Rogers is a gifted communicator and has an amazing story of redemption and the grace of God. Our dialogue has been limited but has always been gracious and respectful. I’d heard many negative things about Sy but our meeting in Sydney in 2007 dispelled many of these.


When Sy was converted in the late 70’s, even though homosexuality had been removed from the list of psychological disorders and laws were changing that had classed gay men as criminals, there was still a great deal of ignorance about sexual orientation. This was particularly so in the church. I was converted in 1969 when the concept of a gay Christian was inconceivable and my life was understandably steered in a particular direction. Was I receiving Christ today I hope that my pastor would be well informed and help me to see that my morality is a choice but my sexual orientation isn’t and that I could lead a life that honoured God as a gay young man. Today there are many fine gay Christians and a growing number of churches which welcome and affirm them.


There are still many who speak of Sy as an ‘ex-gay’ and that he preaches a re-orientation message. I don’t believe Sy would use that term to describe himself or believes that people need to be ‘healed’ of their homosexuality. His message these days is healing for all both gay and straight; a person’s sexual orientation is not the issue. I trust that these insights help dispel some of the confusion and bring a more balanced view of Sy’s ministry.



The Complexities of the Sy Rogers Story


1. Homosexuality vs trangenderism

To listen, in length, to the Sy story is to realise that it is not a simple story of gay man becomes straight. Firstly, Sy is transgender which occurs in the womb and remains with a person throughout life. If you are well informed about sexual orientation and what it means to be transgender, then you will be aware that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different wiring systems in the brain. For example, some transgender men are sexually attracted to women and some to men. This is often confusing for heterosexuals to understand as their brains are aligned harmoniously with their gender identity.


Sy lived as a woman for some time and was in the process of seeking gender re-assignment surgery when he was converted to Christ. Throw into his story years of sexual abuse, a self destructive lifestyle (not an exclusively homosexual experience), meaningless sexual encounters and a dysfunctional family upbringing (mother was an alcoholic) then it becomes a maze of issues. The sexual abuse issues are the ones Sy has most recently had to resolve. Probably the miracle in Sy’s Rogers story is similar to mine: we are still alive to tell the story.


Problems develop when Sy speaks to church audiences who are relatively uneducated about sexuality and transgenderism. I’m sure there are still are large number of people in churches who naively believe all homosexual men want to dress and live as a woman and all lesbians wish they could be men. This is far from reality for the average gay man or lesbian. When uninformed Christians, with an already negative attitude towards homosexuality, hear Sy’s story, it’s easy for them to make false assumptions.


2. Terminology

Different terms appear in Sy’s story, homosexual, gay, transsexual, transgender, all mixed together and are hard for the average person to separate. One of the myths often presented in many church cultures is that ALL gay men and lesbians are highly immoral, drug taking reprobates who live a ‘homosexual lifestyle’. Sy’s story carries much of that stereotype which, for those of us who are a part of the gay community(as opposed to the ‘gay scene’), know is only reflective of a subculture and once again not exclusively homosexual. Heterosexuals live the same ‘lifestyle’.


3. Does Marriage = Heterosexual?

My assumption is that Sy would not actually claim that he is totally heterosexual today, but, because he is married to a woman, many would try and tell us that this indicates a change in sexual orientation. “Heterosexual functionality’ is not being heterosexual any many more than heterosexual men engaging in same sex activity in prison makes them homosexual. I’ve never met an ‘ex-gay’ who can honestly say their orientation, instincts, fantasies and desires are now heterosexual. In other words, that they think and function like normal heterosexual men. I was also married to a woman for 16 years and fathered children but it didn’t make me straight. You can change behaviours, control thoughts, resist temptations and lessen same sex opportunities but you can’t change inbuilt orientation. There is a substantial amount of scientific research that demonstrates this. Sy has chosen to be in a heterosexual marriage. I have to respect Sy and his wife’s choice and anyone else who chooses to live that way.


Personally, at the age of 40, I could no longer live with the inconsistency of presenting one thing to those around me and being another person inside. It was unsustainable and the disconnect created unhealthy behaviours and mental health issues.


The Ambiguities


To assume that Sy is an ‘ex-gay’ and that he believes all gay men and lesbians must become heterosexual raises several ambiguities.


1. Ambiguity No. 1. Sy has not been on the board of Exodus for quite some time. Possibly not actively involved at a board level for 15 years. He has spoken at some Exodus conferences though. He is last mentioned on the history page of their website in 1996.

2. Ambiguity No. 2. The Sy Rogers website makes no mention of homosexuality or ex-gay ministries.

3. Ambiguity No. 3. The Choices ex-gay ministry established by Sy (I believe), at the Singaporean Church of Our Saviour in 1991 still exists, but Sy is no longer involved and his name is not mentioned on records of it’s history.

4. Ambiguity No. 4. Sitting in the Sense and Sexuality Seminar at Hillsong in 2007, Sy spoke about purity of thought life, addictions, sexual abuse and wholeness without ever identifying heterosexuality as being more wholesome than homosexuality. From memory, I can’t really remember the word homosexual being used at the seminar. (Although he did mention those words of course when he told his story at the Sunday services). At the Sense & Sexuality Seminar, he spoke only of living a life that is pleasing to God and healthy for the individual. Was that because I’d been sitting with him in the front row of the church? I tend to think not.


What about all the books, tapes and videos?


There are still Sy Rogers videos and publications out there which tell a different story and people promote him as an ‘ex-gay’. It’s been over two decades now since some of that original material was created and during that time there has been much scientific research on the subject of sexual orientation. It’s unfortunate that some of these resources are being used to promote a falsehood that God miraculously makes gay people straight. Sadly some Christians have used these materials to push their own agenda which has resulted in untold suffering and even suicides. I’m currently working with a 40 year old man who has been involved in Exodus here in Australia for 20 years. His words to me tell it all. ‘I was sold a very cruel lie’. One his wife and children are currently trying to painfully unravel.


Finally, I do wonder, considering the recent growth of the GLBT Christian movement and that many more churches have become welcoming of GLBT people, that if Sy had been converted today instead of three decades ago, if his journey might have been a very different one.


If you’d like to read more about the changes in the Christian world’s attitude towards and thinking about homosexuality, you can read this article on my blog. Celebrating Our Future – the times, they are a changin’. http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/2008/07/celebrating-our-future.html

Please feel free to email me if you have any questions.



Qwerty
 
Joined in 2009
September 11, 2009, 19:37

Hi everyone,


I remember hearing Sy Rogers speak at a festival in New Zealand (early 90’s) and feeling awful. If he could change, why couldn’t I? Why did the exodus program make me feel completely worthless, incompetent and weak?

My journey took me through years of depression, I nearly walked away from church altogether because it was just too painful being in a place where I could not fit in.

I had to educate myself, convince myself that Sy was wrong – and that God likes me, loves me just the way I am, the way he created me.


🙂



Meyerink
 
Joined in 2009
September 17, 2009, 18:12

Dont know if it interests anyone but Sy will be speaking on the Sunshine coast in October. not sure times etc but its the 9th-11th Oct.



Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 4, 2009, 22:01

Sy will be speaking at Kings Buderim on 9-10th October.


Friday 9th October 7-9PM Sense & Sexuality #1


Saturday 10th October 10AM-1PM Sexual Healing Seminar

(Cost $20/pp inc morning tea. child minding available.)


Saturday 10th October 7-9PM Sense and Sexuality #2


Sunday 11th October Sy Rogers in the hot seat.


For more information or to book for the Sexual Healing Seminar contact 54539000


http://www.kings.org.au/sense-sexuality-weekend-with-sy-rogers-at-kings/



sman
 
Joined in 2009
October 5, 2009, 04:01

Just been listening to the man on Reality Zone… Hmm…


http://www.myspace.com/therealityzone



Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 5, 2009, 04:46

Went to listen to that, too. He still seems to be preaching that homosexuals can change and that to really press in to God, I need to leave my committed partnership and turn away from my ‘weakness.’


That’s what I am hearing in his message. I might be coloring it with my own views, but I don’t think I am.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 5, 2009, 09:51

I often wonder how Sy would respond if we got all the people who had listened to his story….and assumed that he had now changed from gay to straight….then they tried unsuccessfully to change….often with much internal torment, depression, self hatred, thoughts of/and attempts of suicide and loss of faith…some even marrying seeing Sy as the mentor but because they were gay the marriage is unsustainable…..but had now found total resolution of their faith and/or their sexuality….and we got them all to write and tell them their stories.


many that I speak with feel ripped off, angry about the unnecessary suffering and wasted lives.


I believe in essence Sy is a compassionate person…..I wonder if he would be touched. Would he acknowledge that many have found faith and resolution by accepting their same sex orientation? And whilst his life was totally tortured in many ways they there are those like gettingthere…hillsben…and many others not only on this forum but many others around the world who have embraced who they are early in life with little or no conflict.


what do you think?



sman
 
Joined in 2009
October 5, 2009, 12:13

I agree with you Anthony. If he could only hear our stories and see the amazing things God does in our lives without any change. The worst thing is the friends I have had, used what he says to explain that Homosexuality can be changed and that if you choose not to change its your choice but not Gods. I would like the parents of those who lost children to speak with him too and see that it causes a lot of people so much pain to try and change themselves. Maybe even if he was to just get on this site and see all the wonderful stories of so many different people from different walks of life. He said in that interview that Gay people can come to God in one breath and in the other that Gay people can be set free.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 5, 2009, 12:54

….and also how many have married believing that what Sy says and represents is the ultimate expression of God’s healing….only to find it unsustainable….leaving the wife and children devastated and having to begin life again. I think his message on sexual healing and wholeness is good…..as this is a human problem……but I think his message on homosexuality is damaging and destructive……as the first point of contact for so many people….I’ve heard toooooo many tragic stories. Stories that Sy will never here….unless I do something.


Possibly some of his comments on the radio program were a response to the article I wrote that is now on several places on the internet.


Some of what he says is good….like speaking against some Christians obsession with being anti-gay…….and to allow God to lead a person on their journey. I dont believe this is something he would have said some decades…so this is a step forward.


Sy is viewing homosexuality through his own broken experience I feel. I look forward to the day when Sy says….I’ve met many lovely gay Christians who are whole and healed…….and still gay. Many even in long term committed relationships. this is the truth. The brokenness is the issue…..not the orientation.



Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 5, 2009, 13:21

I was surprised at the depth of anger I heard from my own sweet partner when I showed her the leaflet I got at church last night about Sy’s seminar. She is such an easygoing and laid back person who doesn’t ‘rant’ the way that I can be known to do, but she spoke with deep anger and hurt, about hearing Sy speak many years ago at an exodus conference.


Anthony, he obviously said some things back then, that deeply upset and angered her…


I showed her your article about Sy, and she then did some research of her own, and this was the gist of her response:


“If Sy Rogers has changed his thinking about gay and lesbian people being able to change, if he has ended his association with Exodus based on that change of thinking, if he has made some kind of a turnaround–and I don’t believe he has but if he has, then he needs to come out publicly and say so, and I won’t hear a word he has to say until he does, and until he apologizes for the untold damage he has done.”


Maybe we should get a group of people together to write to him?


It might make a difference. My sexual experience was certainly more ‘broken’ when I was trying to live het, than it is now that I have faced my truth and found a loving committed relationship with a same sex partner and I would happily tell him so. My entire life was broken when I lived that lie.


All I ever got from God on it, when I prayed and prayed to be released from my ‘cup’ was: “The Lord God desires truth in the innermost being.” It took me many years and many struggles to realise that the truth he desired of me is the truth I now live.


The Bible (and pastors) tell us that when we ask the Holy Spirit to guide us, He will never lead us into error. I asked for His guidance; I begged for it and I cannot believe he led me into error. If he did, then that would make God a liar.


okay…I will put away the soapbox now.

😆


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