Hi Iain,

I have today posted your speech to several online communities. I disguised your surname and school as privacy is quickly lost in cyberspace.

The response in only a few hours includes a “Bravo”, and “I want to shake this man’s hand.” I have also been asked how your speech was received. How do you feel now? Has anything happened since? I think people will be interested in your story as it unfolds further.

Cheers

Mal

Thank you for all your support and encouragement…you have no idea what it means to me. It’s funny how already my speech feels like another life time ago and the apprehensive man reading it is now unrecognizable …as I enjoy my new found confidence and more importantly …relaxation!!

On the whole responses have been very positive. My family had a variety of reactions from ‘you got to do what you got to do’ to ‘well, we’ve been waiting years for you to do this’. I have actually enjoyed (?) watching the responses from the Christian community. I expected to see some angry people but they have been quite civil or silent to my face …but my spies have told me that the arguments have occurred behind my back. I know that there is a saying in the gay world that “ there’s only two kinds of straight people, one’s which hate you to your face and one’s which hate you behind your back” …well I’m pleased to report that this has not been my experience thus far. I do believe the part in my speech that it will be straight people who will help to resolve our cause.

So besides the silent treatment with awkward body language, there are also those who have spoken to me with ‘very’ carefully chosen words or have preached to me the well worn fundamentalist views (I think that they think it will be an epiphany for me …like I have never heard that view point in the 24 years I’ve been a Christian!?). There are those who are very supportive and find the Christian worldview on homosexuality very uncomfortable and unfair …which is only reinforced when they now know a gay man who they have loved for years. There are those who are almost militant in their support angrily saying things such as… “this is the last issue that the Christian church needs to resolve!” …preach it sister!

I think the key for me, which I have learnt from Anthony at Freedom2be, is actually ‘allowing’ for the varied reactions …giving people space to work things through …being loving and not reactive/argumentative. In context, it’s taken me 37 years to get to this point of resolution, I do not expect others (who have really no understanding at all) to get to the same point in 37 minutes!?

Really I have had many beautiful things said to me by a whole variety of people …I can’t begin to explain how it has made me feel except questioning ‘why didn’t I do this sooner!?’ No, there was something actually really right about the timing …I can’t explain that either!? So I’m typing this as NYE celebrations are being frantically organized and, like most, you reflect on your life and once upon a time my cynical friends and I would chant our ‘same as it ever was’ mantra… but now I am feeling very exited of my opportunity to ‘start again’ which includes moving to the city, finding a job …maybe a relationship!?

I do wish to share with you one last thing and that is a touching email (below) sent to me by Jessica, an ex-student of mine, who I believe will be a famous writer one day! I want to encourage my Freedom 2 Be friends with her new observation of …“freedom is not reserved only for those who fit neatly”.

Happy 2007 and thanx again!

iain

“I want to say I am sorry. I have been truly ignorant on the depth of homosexuality and its ambiguity, and I accepted a limited view…that homosexuals choose their own sexual orientation; they live an alternate lifestyle because they are suffering or confused. For that I am truly sorry.

You have been one of the most encouraging men in my life. Not even my own father has uplifted, appreciated, stood by me and loved me the way you have…you are more man than he is.

I read something yesterday that, to me resonates the very heart and soul of what you have done…

‘And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.

For self is boundless and measureless.’ – Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

You have discovered a fault in the world’s, and Christian’s, ability to conceive the boundlessness of a human being. That freedom is not reserved only for those who fit neatly…

So I want to say to you, be proud that you do not fit the limitation man has defined itself by…

It is truly an amazing thing you have done and I don’t think this world can ever supply you with the recognition you deserve…looks like you’ll have to wait till heaven! Lol!

Stand tall Wallace. You are unbelievably courageous and I am thankful for the way you have challenged an age old pattern…that has now been broken.

It is an honour to know you.

Jesse jess xx”

Hey Magsdee

I am so happy that these posts have been helpful for you. Jessica is truly clever in her thoughtfulness and sincerity. Her apology is really the voice of a new Christian generation, like Guy Sebastian, who may choose not to oppress but advocate.

I understand your response to your years of oppression. It can be difficult to think opposite to the well worn Christian mainstream expectations of our lives. Whether is the good news stories of a ‘coming out speech’ or ‘sharing about a new relationship’ typical reactions will obviously be like announcing that someone has died!? So, yes, it can be hard to choose not to be the victim they perceive you to be.

iain

I have to share with you all a few surprising positive things I am experiencing. Yesterday I went to a ‘big’ Christian wedding where I know the majority of people (most of whom also know that I have come out). This was the first occasion where I was seeing these people since my speech. With my new found confidence, I wasn’t in any way apprehensive though I was curious of possible reactions and ready to argue my stance (in the nicest possible way!?)

There was amazing displays of love and friendship toward me. I was blown away! Many hugged & kissed me (surprisingly by many men!?) and wished me well for my new life in this new year. Some had to do the ‘I don’t believe it’s right’ dialogue but said they still cared deeply for me. Even in a wedding speech, in front of all these Christians, they referred to me by saying that I had changed their “…black and white world into spectacular shades of grey”. I got a little teary by that public acknowledgement!!

I wonder if it was the same christian wedding on the central coast where the grooms father is gay. My daughter didn’t go to the reception but went to the service where the gay dad particularly looked out for Hannah knowing she understands how awkward those situations can be.

I’m sure so much good will come from your brave step Iain………not only for what its done for you but in also breaking down the walls of misinformation and misunderstanding.