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...the death of alex...

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Dancing Queen
 
Joined in 2007
January 30, 2007, 19:16

Hi Iain


I just want to tell you how much I appreciated reading Your Story on the website, and how much it touched me.


You are one of the most courageous men for standing up for who you are in front of your whole staff. (I wish I had been a fly on the wall). I’m so proud of you, yet I don’t even know you, although after reading such a great story and an insight to the man you truly are from your student Jess I guess I now feel I have known you for ever.


I received your story via a friend of mine, and he has recently been put off from a Christian School, not so far from Charlton. I am parent of the school where he taught and was outraged from their behaviour, as he was such a great teacher and the students just loved him. I witnessed his professionalism and how the students and he related together at a school camp where I was a parent helper for the week.


I am a Christian, and unfortunately belong to the denomination that did not renew his contract.


I support all the gay christian people I know and love them for the person they were born to be.


After a short email to Anthony I have become a memeber, and sent the info to my gay friends and non gay friends to encourage them also to join and lets make a stand together for one of acceptance, love & respect, because that is how Jesus would want us to treat each other.


God Bless you in what ever your decide to do with your career!


Yours faithfully


Dancing Queen


P.S Yes I’m the biggest ABBA fan hence my user name on the forum



iain
 
Joined in 2006
January 30, 2007, 21:16

Hey Dancing Queen!

Thank you for your amazing email! …and all the nice things you have said.

The whole experience for me has been surprisingly positive with a lot of support from many Christians who find it uncomfortable to maintain the ‘cultural oppression’ placed upon the gay community …even if some of the gay community happen to be Christian!?


Like Phil, i felt ‘called’ to be a teacher in a Christian Schools and i cherish each one of those 15 years and the people i met, including students such as Jess, and how they have strengthened my life …ironically, for me to have the strength to leave them. It was difficult to leave only because i knew that i had to. Religious organizations are exempt from the Anti Discrimination Act …but i also needed to be me and maybe have my own long-term relationship one day. I would have put my principal, who i have loved dearly for over 20 years now, in a position where she would have had to sack me. I chose to jump rather than be pushed …doesn’t seem so courageous now that i have just typed that!?!?


I do hope that one day the Church/Christian Schools are able to embrace, as you have done, and realize …as Anthony puts it…

“The statement ‘the Bible says homosexuality is a sin’ is actually a false statement. It’s impossible for homosexuality to be a sin. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation like heterosexuality and therefore it’s amoral. As I find myself saying repeatedly to people who have been taught to believe the equation that homosexuality = promiscuity—‘my morality is a choice, my sexual orientation, however, isn’t’. Many are surprised to find there is no chapter or verse for that quote ‘the Bible says homosexuality is a sin’ we hear so often in either the Old or New Testaments; it is a belief or assumption based on an interpretation of several verses—six passages out of 31,240 verses.”


It is encouraging to know that people like you exist …and it wasn’t that long ago that i thought people like you didn’t exit.


I really appreciate you email. Thanx again

iain

p.s. …dancing queen!? …hmmmm …with a name like that i think i know why you attract gay people …hahahaha!



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
January 31, 2007, 10:51

we are extremely grateful for our straight advocates…..those who have sort to dig a bit deeper for information and even (God forbid) actually got close to gay men and lesbians.


Your voice can be stronger than ours at times.


thanks Dancing Queen 😀



iain
 
Joined in 2006
April 12, 2007, 00:51

Postscript….


It’s just been over four months since my ‘coming out’ speech at Charlton and it feels like a lifetime ago!? Next month will represent 12 months of attending the ‘Freedom 2 Be’ group which supports gay Christians to find their place in their world …they still recall with laughter/admiration of how much I arrived to that first meeting unable to settle like some ‘basket case’ …and now neither them or I can barely recognize that man who was so desperately ‘on the edge’ last May.


I have moved out of my Central Coast bushland retreat (currently being rented to an Olympian!) and have moved into a groovy unit overlooking a beautiful pool! People who don’t know the area are horrified when I tell them it’s in Redfern (commonly associated with the riots)?! Really it IS a lot better than it sounds!


Finding this place is a miracle in itself with the tight rental market at the moment! But the week that I moved to Sydney in January the city celebrated my arrival by putting my story in the local paper. You can still find this article on the SSO website (below)…

http://www.ssonet.com.au/display.asp?ArticleID=6140

…where the journalist wrote in first person and told of my perceived need to lead a double life. It’s a confrontingly (mostly) accurate article but I felt, in some minor way, that I had made some amends to the men I have met and lied to …some of which have got back in contact with me since the article went to print. They have told me how brave I had been and have forgiven me. One said ‘the church has a lot to answer for.” …and he’s right.


I have received casual teaching blocks. I’m still using this time to work out what I want to do when I grow up!! I do this contemplating regularly by the pool (working on my Scottish tan!!)


I found myself in the privileged position of designing ‘Freedom 2 Be’s first and historic entry for the Mardi Gras …and no, it’s not anything you could be imagining!! A very conservative jeans and white tshirt! I was very hesitant to march in the Mardi Gras, knowing what the event is like, I didn’t feel like the event really represented me and where I was at (or wanted to be at)! In the midst of all this I was invited to weddings of an ex-student and my niece …then I realized that, after witnessing all these celebrations of heterosexuality, ‘…when do I get to celebrate my sexuality?’ So because I am unable to be married (yet), then I suppose, for good or bad, Mardi Gras IS my celebration. I decided, last minute to march.


I was so surprised to discover that although there was some confronting entries most were not the sensational images that you’d see in the media but rather community groups (such as ours), corporations and politicians. They included PFLAG, NSW Police, NSW Rural Fire Service, ANZ Bank, Ambulance Service of NSW, Dayenu Jewish Group, Cross campus Student float (Educational institutions), Sydney Gay and Lesbian Choir, City of Sydney Council, Clover Moore MP, Living Clean (fun without drugs and alcohol), Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service, Elise Women’s Refuge, Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby, Willma Women’s Health Centre, Newtown Gym, Victorian Firefighters, Australian Labor party, High schoolers against Homophobia, IKEA, ACON, Riverside High Girls school, Surf Life saving Australia, NSW Fire Brigades, Australian Federal Police Gay and Lesbian Liaison Officers, National Breast Cancer foundation, Workers out (Union NSW), MCC Churches, Amnesty International, G&L;s supporting animal liberation, Darlinghurst Business Partnership, Community action against Homophobia, University of western Sydney Students Association, The Big Issue, The Greens NSW, Anti discrimination Law supporters, Sydney Anglicans, Acceptance(GLBTQ Catholics), Australian Democrats, IBM GLBT employee group, SX News, Sydney Convicts Rugby, Sydney Stingers….to name a few!


As we were waiting I felt SO excited to be a part of this event especially when I realized that four of my ex-students from CCHS Regents Park were actually marching in our group! It was amazing to see and catch up with them after not seeing them for more than ten years!! This was definitely a highlight of the event for me! We mused over how others would react over this unexpected Christian school reunion!


In the adrenalin of waiting there was a strange moment when I just realized what I’m about to do …after a lifetime of self hatred and hiding to, now, marching in front of hundreds of thousands of people with a sense of pride!?!? I was open mouthed and trying not to cry. I looked over to Anthony who was already crying and hugged me. In the craziness of the colour, music and costumes …nobody could begin to comprehend how powerful this moment was for all of us and each of our brave stories that nervously brought us together …especially when our group was singled out in a press release by Fred Nile who ignorantly claimed …“I call upon Anthony Venn-Brown and these marchers to withdraw from this blasphemous, obscene parade and not bring the Name of Jesus Christ into disrepute” …Fred has no idea of the healing power of love and acceptance in this context …and until recently, neither did I.


As we started the march I was overwhelmed by amount of people screaming and cheering for us!? Now remember there were 40 of us …in jeans and tshirts …no music, no choreography, no glitter …just us. And surprisingly the huge crowd continued to cheer …for us? People from the crowd and point at me and yell ‘good on you!’, ‘we love you!’, ‘you’re fantastic!’, ‘proud of you!’ …these positive words from strangers spoke out against the years of Christian oppression.


Yes, the church has a lot to answer for …but for the first time I’m too busy truly lovin my life to be bitter! Lol!!



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 12, 2007, 09:13

Sounds like you are in a good place Iain…..not only geographically but also psychologically. It sounds like what we are doing in Freedom 2 b(e) is meeting its objectives……ie


Guidelines:


1. freedom 2 b(e) is a safe place. That means you are welcome and we will do all we can to respect your rights which, if you choose, include your anonymity. Our website, online forum and meetings are free of a sexual agenda.

2. freedom 2 b(e) is non judgmental. We make no judgment about the way you live your life or express your sexual orientation. You are responsible to live your life in ways that demonstrate respect to yourself and others.

3. freedom 2 b(e) has no agenda. It is not our intention to get people to leave churches or go back to them or tell them what they should believe. That is your decision and journey. Our only intention is to provide a space for people to grow and resolve any issues they may have about their sexuality and/or their beliefs. Once again the choices are yours.



iain
 
Joined in 2006
April 12, 2007, 10:13

Absolutely Anthony!

…the safe non-judgemental space that Freedom 2 Be provided was EXACTLY what i needed to get things sorted in a healthy way!

Thanx to all at F2B!!

iain



iain
 
Joined in 2006
May 27, 2007, 16:31

I heard sad news recently of a head of faculty of a Christian school was fired last week because they discovered he was gay. It has been claimed that the board of the school said “this just proves all homosexuals are liars and are deceitful”

…what this actually does ‘prove’ is that some Christian leaders are yet to grasp the real reasons as to why a gay Christian teacher (as well as other gay Christians working in church organizations) would be forced to lead a hidden life …they are yet to grasp that they are the types of Christians who have oppressed and shamed gay people in the public arena …why would the gay Christian come out in that same arena??? …it’s about oppression not deception.

Thankfully there are many many straight Christians who are leaders in their communities, be it Christian principals or pastors, who are realizing the injustice of this oppression…

…and more importantly, slowly working towards a resolution.

One day a gay Christian will not have to resign or be sacked from a job they feel so ‘called’ to do by the God who created them gay.



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 29, 2007, 18:47

True Alex, one day that will happen that we can fulfil our callings as we are!!!……..amazing tho isnt it, that just because you havent disclosed something about your private life a person gets called a liar and deceitful…..it doesnt make sense to be called that, a lie is when you actually say something thats untrue not when u just keep something in private……..but as you said also, why would anyone come out in the open about their sexuality anywhere when all you get is judgement and prejudice. The thing is why do people feel they “have” to know your sexual preference? You could be the greatest person in the world and yet if your sexuality is discovered thats all people see, not who you are as a person, since when has sex become soooooo “important” and defining of us as people that it overtakes who we are “as” people.? sure sex is a part of my life but along with every other aspect of myself as well no? can you see what I mean by saying this 8) Im just voicing my thoughts and not debating anything here wink I understand that in a christian job position or any position you have to disclose your sexuality.



iain
 
Joined in 2006
June 11, 2007, 19:25

I thought it would be appropriate to add the front page article from SSO this week about the current actions of the Catholic church for Catholic schools and its possible impact on gay Christians…


“FORMER EDUCATORS TELL WHY THEY FEAR THE LATEST SCHOOL PLAN BY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH”


Gay and lesbian teachers face a clampdown under a proposed fidelity oath in Catholic schools, former religious educators claim.


Under plans drafted by Bishop Julian Porteous, principals, their deputies, and religious education coordinators will swear to the moral teachings of the church.


“It won’t have any impact on regular teachers, but if someone were to stand for executive leadership they would need to meet some expectations in themselves with regard to Catholic life,” Porteous said.


“Cardinal [George] Pell wanted to see the pastoral care plan strengthen Catholic life, and this was a proposal to affirm existing guidelines from the Catholic Education Office.”


Porteous denied the plans were an attempt to stifle modern thought, such as condom advocacy among students.


“Christ said the truth will set you free. Truth is a liberation, a freedom, not an imposition or a restriction in people’s lives,” Porteous said.


Michael Kelly, a 17-year veteran religious educator in Catholic schools, said gay teachers doing a good job traditionally weren’t questioned about their private lives.


“This is going to put a lot of pressure on principals to clamp down, or to be seen to be clamping down,” Kelly said.


Now a spokesperson for the Rainbow Sash movement for gay Catholics, Kelly said it was unprecedented for the oath, originally designed for bishops, to be applied in this way.


“The oath will create a fearful mood in Catholic schools, a crisis of conscience and a lot of resentment,” he said.


“The reality is a lot of principals and deputies in Catholic schools are quite progressive; they also know a lot of teachers don’t follow all church teachings, and a lot of students don’t believe in church teachings.


“Catholic schools should be about education, not indoctrination. It’s going to be complicated for principals and religious educators to deal with gay students in ways that are compassionate and responsible.”


Independent Education Union spokesman Dick Shearman said he did not believe the proposal would put the civil liberties of teachers and principals at risk because details about their private lives are protected under workplace agreements.


“We’ve dealt with this with a clause to not act in your public life in a way which is contrary to church teachings,” he said. “We expect that to continue. The current situation mightn’t be to everybody’s approval, but there’s no change. It absolutely wouldn’t affect the status of gay teachers.”


Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby spokesman Ghassan Kassisieh said the current status offered no protection to Catholic school staff because religious schools had legislative exemptions under anti-discrimination laws.


“They can expel a student or fire a teacher purely on the basis of their sexuality or de facto status without any ramifications,” Kassisieh said.


Tony Rowe, who spent 18 years as a religious educator and sporting coach in Catholic schools, said he left seven years ago after being pressured by a parish priest.


“It became too difficult for the school to have a gay teacher,” Rowe said. “Most of the teachers knew and, after I left, students told me they knew.


“Once a student asked me if I was gay; I said it didn’t matter to the education he was receiving, but what if the kid had told someone? I could have lost my job at any time and there’s nothing I could have done about it.”


Rowe said directives such as the one proposed would place students at risk by driving sexuality education underground.


“The school was supportive of us teaching about contraception, homosexuality, and encouraged us to deal with students going through things like abortions – but they didn’t want it to be publicly known that’s what we were doing,” he said.



Sage
 
Joined in 2007
June 26, 2007, 17:12

Wow. I admire the courage you had to stand up and give that speech to your co-workers. Thank you so much for sharing it with me, it was touching.

I only wish I had the courage you have, Iain.

God bless you 🙂


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